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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends pregnant with three possible fathers

69 replies

ZebraMammy17 · 03/10/2018 11:58

My friend of 5-6 years is pregnant I'm feeling a bit conflicted as she confided in me that there's 3 possible fathers and her boyfriend thinks it's his.

For background she was in a on again off again toxic relationship for a couple of years he is possible father #1 towards the end of that relationship she started cheating on him with her brothers friend possible father #2 she told me that on the day she met her now boyfriend possible father #3 she had just got out of bed with #2 and they are friends.

When she was going back to #1 she told him he was the father before she told her current boyfriend about the pregnancy, it's so messy.

Her current boyfriend doesn't know about his friend #2 and her having an affair. She'd gone between #1 & #3 for a few weeks before finding out she's pregnant.

She's currently with #3 and has no contact with the other two, her boyfriend knows there's a chance that her ex could be the father and wants a test when the baby's born. However she's been trying to convince him that her ex couldn't be the father as the dates don't match and not to bother with the test.

He's a lovely guy and this involves a child, I really don't want to get involved but I think she's being cruel to everyone, to make it worse imo she told me she never used protection with any of them so it really could be anyone's guest.

Her boyfriend is so excited for this baby and to be a dad.
As I'm writing this I feel like it's something off Jeremy Kyle or Bridget Jones it's so complicated Confused

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 03/10/2018 12:26

What's your AIBU

MiddleClassProblem · 03/10/2018 12:26

Honesty is the best policy. I would talk to her about getting a Dna test (or 3) even if it’s just for the sake of her dc. They have a right to know who their father is and these days family health history crops up too.

Rebecca36 · 03/10/2018 12:26

Agree with bridgetrelly.

Blackoutblinds · 03/10/2018 12:28

Let me guess. One of them is black. Sigh.

Fightthebear · 03/10/2018 12:29

Tricky- hope she’s a bit of a Super Trooper.

BlessYour2Sizes2SmallHeart · 03/10/2018 12:32

Your friend's a trashy slag...is that what you want us to say?

Confused

If you're put off because she doesn't know who the father of her baby is then just back away.

Lalliella · 03/10/2018 12:32

She should sail off into the sunset with the blond one on the boat!

Is she on mumsnet? This is a bit outing on the off chance that it’s true.

AngelsSins · 03/10/2018 12:32

Depressing that no one in this story thought they should use a condom.

BlancheM · 03/10/2018 12:35

What are you conflicted about?

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 03/10/2018 12:36

If the worst that has happened from these four people shagging without condoms is an unplanned pregnancy, then all three should count themselves very lucky.

Herpes is for life, folks, and so is HIV.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 03/10/2018 12:36

*all four should count themselves very lucky.

NoLeslie · 03/10/2018 12:37

I vote she sticks with Pierce Brosnan but he has to agree never to sing.

RibbonAurora · 03/10/2018 12:37

She's pregnant with triplet boys? Yes, OP, it is quite possible they'll be fathers one day, so, if she doesn't want to be a grandmother, she might want to introduce them from fairly young to the idea of using contraception; you know, like she and her partners didn't.

ZebraMammy17 · 03/10/2018 12:39

She's not trashy she just made bad decisions when she was getting out of a toxic relationship but I think the decisions she's still making are bad I know one of the three has had health issues but I'm not sure if there genetic, I think she's scared but being selfish I just don't know if ibu to have a word about it I've told her she needs the DNA test I know I haven't done all I can as a friend to get her to do the right thing

OP posts:
NotACleverName · 03/10/2018 12:39

Is it twins? 🤔

PortiaCastis · 03/10/2018 12:40

Or triplets

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/10/2018 12:41

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

None of your business at all, to be honest. I'd stay well out of it.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 03/10/2018 12:44

On the bright side, she will be offered routine screening for some STIs as part of her antenatal care, to check what else these guys may have shared with her.

Belina · 03/10/2018 12:44

She needs to call maury

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 03/10/2018 12:44

There have been a lot of 'don't know who the father is' threads recently.

It's probably nothing more than coincidence, of course Hmm

RedneckStumpy · 03/10/2018 12:50

Repeat to yourself “Not my circus, not my monkeys”

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 03/10/2018 13:00

Encourage her to get checked for sti's for a start and discuss ideas about contraception after baby is born.
I think she is going to need to be honest with all involved. At least two of the men are going to need to participate in dna test and then that would rule out 3rd or get 1 dna test and forever wonder about other 2. She needs to think it through and choose wisely (especially if one has a genetic issue) even if it means potentially losing her (current) partner.
I know some pp's were having a laugh about this but also worth mentioning the skin colour of father because if she's planning on being sneaky about this, I hope shes realised things like dark skin, blue or green eyes and red hair for example are genetic and cant be explained away.

SassitudeandSparkle · 03/10/2018 13:01

This crops up an awful lot on MN Hmm Although I do like the typo of 'guest' for 'guess'.

Belina · 03/10/2018 13:04

Tbh this is common I know a few women who were not sure between two different guys.

VanGoghsDog · 03/10/2018 13:07

Can she cancel the cheque?

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