Teachers

[Flatwhite32]

Is it just me, or have there been quite a few threads on here recently criticising/questioning teachers? I'm a teacher (currently on maternity leave) and while we aren't perfect, I find it demoralising that I work so hard in a job made extremely difficult by the government (funding cuts and stupid, pointless bureaucratic policies) yet the respect for teachers from some members of the public seems to be decreasing. I know in some instances teachers are unreasonable (I commented on a thread a few weeks ago where the teacher in question was being very unreasonable), but I am finding that more and more parents complain when I tell their child off, for example, or refuse to read to their child because 'that's just the teacher's responsibility, not mine'. It really gets me down sometimes!

It isn't unreasonable to question teachers.

In an ideal world parents should be supportive but you have admitted that some teachers are not always reasonable so therefore you've answered your own question.

I do think that Teaching, as a Profession, has taken a nosedive in how highly regarded it is - which is awful, imho.

I hugely value my DDs' Teachers and am very grateful for all the hours and efforts they put in to helping my daughters achieve the best that they are able to. I emailed my eldest DD11's Tutor earlier in the week to thank him for taking the class on an overnight residential - I told him that she'd had a brilliant time and that we appreciated him giving up his time to take them away for the night, on top of all of his usual teaching, planning and marking work.

I am very aware of the hours Teachers put in because DH was a Teacher until a couple of years ago, when he reached the end of his reserves - working 15 hours, 6 days a week with little to no thanks.

I'm sad when I hear parents won't back up our Teachers, we're facing a real shortage of good recruits and many fabulous Teachers are burning out and leaving the profession, it's such a shame.

I'm sorry some people aren't always giving Teachers the respect and appreciation that they deserve - because you really do deserve an awful lot and I, for one, am very grateful.

Enjoy your Maternity leave with your little one, and try not to stress about school till you have to go back!

I think dealing with unreasonable overly precious parents must be one of the worst parts of being a teacher.

I admire teachers. It must seem like one gawd awful, thankless task at times.

I imagine it's not just teachers who are being challenged, questioned or disrespected like this, too. Many people will disbelieve their own GPs after self-diagnosing on Google etc etc. People are more informed these days, but that doesn't mean they are well informed, though.

I’m a teacher but I don’t take threads where people criticise teachers that personally. I’m confident I’m a good teacher and that the parents of my students would agree - I’ve never had a complaint from a parent and I also don’t have reason to complain about my students parents. I don’t assume that just because somebody posts about a parent-teacher disagreement they’re criticising all teachers (and I won’t assume from your thread complaining about some parents you’re bashing all parents).

Obviously if you’re a teacher the kind of parents you have to deal with depends on your catchment area and if you’re a parent the kind of teachers you have to deal with depend on your school - not all are good or easy or fair or right on either side. But I don’t agree that parents show less respect for teachers now, I think if that’s what you’re seeing then it either says something about the school and/ or catchment area you’re now teaching in or it says something about the teacher you’ve become.

There are a lot of these threads this year. More than usual I think. Everyone seems to be busy fuming or marching into school to demand things.

Sadly I'm not old enough to remember if there was ever a golden age of teaching, but I would hope that the automatic go-to stance of parents would be "The teacher knows best" in most situations. However it seems like a lot of the time the go-to attitude is "My child knows best, rather than the trained professional".

On the other hand, by its very nature, Education leaves a mark on everyone who passes through it. People with positive educational experiences will be far less likely to criticize/abuse/undermine/demand to teachers than people who had negative educational experiences - be it a teacher that they hated, they got bad grades, they were bullied and the teachers didn't help, etc etc etc.

Just like medical issues and second guessing your doctor, I think the internet has had a serious impact on many people's stance toward professionals. Forums can be one giant echo chamber of criticism and condemnation, which previously would not have been available, and there's also a lot of false and misleading information freely available that gets stuck in the minds of parents - anti-vaxxers is probably the best example. One single flawed study that is disproven within a matter of months still manages to spawn an entire online/offline movement when 30 years ago absolutely nobody would even have heard of it.

That said, Mums are always going to be protective of children, and always going to be a bit leery about letting someone else look after them for 8 hours a day. If there has been a recent shift, I think it isn't a groundbreaking one. I would hesitate to come down hard on either side of the question.

However to all those parents out there who have criticized teachers, I would suggest walking a mile in their shoes. Try three weeks of 60 hours complete with class sizes of 30+ and paperwork to match, after school and breakfast clubs, 2-3 hours of marking per night to be done at home, and that should do the trick.

@Nanny0gg I know that! I've just noticed an increasing number of posts questioning teachers recently.

@BetsyBigNose Thank you so much. That has really cheered me up! Sorry to hear about your DH. It is often a thankless job. I was once told by a parent at parents evening that teachers are 'fucking useless' (at the end of a 12 hour day!). I burst into tears (a combination of exhaustion and frustration!).

@AhYeahOkayThen It really is. More and more parents question why their little angel has been told off.

@MyNewBearTotoro Unfortunately an increasing number of parents ARE showing us less respect now. We have had parents come in shouting at teachers in front of kids at the end of the school day and making a scene. This wasn't the case when I started at the school 10 years ago. The school has an excellent reputation and is over subscribed, but I do wonder if that means some parents expect too much IYSWIM?

Try three weeks of 60 hours complete with class sizes of 30+ and paperwork to match, after school and breakfast clubs, 2-3 hours of marking per night to be done at home, and that should do the trick.

@Sethis Parents who volunteer at our school often say 'I'm glad I'm not a teacher!' and that it's a real eye opener into the job. You are right about social media, though, in that we are exposed to more opinions, theories etc.

I'm a teacher. I think it's fine to question teachers but through the correct channels. It's so damaging to a school and individuals if things are slated online. Just come in and talk to the school. We're there for the same reasons in that we want the best for your child. All teachers will have made mistakes at some point but so will anybody in any career.

If I had an issue with a doctor, for example I wouldn't slate the doctor on Facebook. I'd complain or discuss the situation with the practice using the correct channels.

I think it's just a September-October thing. New school year, everyone adjusting - and some not as well as others. I was a teacher for 10 years (switched professions a few years ago) with a mainly pastoral role, and 99% of the parents I encountered back then (usually under negative circumstances, sadly) were friendly, calm and cooperative. I don't think MN is a reflection of real life in that sense.

I feel sorry for and admire you in equal measures. Teaching can be a thankless task and many pack it in because of the attitudes of parents. Yet teachers are not untouchable icons, they must be accountable - but you know all that.

Perhaps find yourself a good school where pupils really want to learn - and keep up the good work.

I think it's important to remember that on here you'll generally only ever see a thread about a person in relation to their job - be they teacher, doctor, lawyer, shop worker, barista - if they've done something potentially wrong or problematic, or outstandingly good.

Nobody posts a thread about how their child's teacher is averagely good, manages well in the class and neither they (nor the child) give any reason to talk about them particularly.

I have very little respect for teachers, I was a quiet shy child who had to endure the sarcasm of many a teacher. Even now when my children come home and tell me the latest rule they have to stick to. Yesterday DDs friend had blu tac in their hair she tried to help them but was told school had a zero contact rule! Such petty silly rules

I am a teacher currently seriously considering leaving the profession altogether. I have a success record of almost 15 years' worth of good or excellent results and students generally appreciate me - but only ever show it when I leave.

The amount of abuse I have to put up with on a daily basis for doing my job is incredible. The entitledness of students to do as they please is on the rise, as is the demand from parents and increasingly support staff to treat each student as a special case because of 'circumstances', failing to see that either way we're seen as being unfair.

I work in a supportive school, but I am sick of it and becoming ill from it. In any other environment what we have to put up with is seen as abuse and not tolerated, yet not only are we expected to allow the students and parents to continue regular contact (and therefore abuse), we are also required to actively support the students in achieving whatever they need to make their grade, regardless of how they have treated us.

It's like being in an emotionally (and occasionally physically) abusive relationship and being told not only to stay on, but to understand and support our abusive partner to continue.

I have to stay in the job another 2 years, but I am desperately looking for a way out.

Thing is it’s like anything. You get good and bad and it’ll completely change your perspective depending on which way the odds go. My sons life was a misery in year 6, he had the most miserable, serious teacher you could meet. She’d scream at the top her voice. My daughter (in the classroom down the corridor) used to ask him what was going on and he wouldn’t even know because it was the norm in the end. She used to threaten them with their sats ‘you won't amount to anything if you don’t do well’. She told them off for crying at the leavers assembly. Said they were drama llamas.

He is LOVING secondary school! It’s like a breath of fresh air and there are two teachers plus the whole p.e department (off the top of my head) who make his life at school a joy and he looks forward to their lessons.

It’s a hard job that’s for sure but I definitely think unless you love it it’s not for you (not you personally, you plural). It wouldn’t be for me, I wouldn’t have the patience for one thing 😂. Enjoy your mat leave 😘

My son has had wonderful teachers but also one that shouldn't have been allowed near him because their attitude towards children with sn and their parents is awful. I feel completely justified in criticising that one. I say that as someone who used to teach.

You have to remember that, for the most part, people post to complain not compliment. You're seeing all the annoyance during the settling in period when there's a lot of friction, dislike of change, etc. as people (schools and families) try and get back into the swing of it. Most of the critical threads are, ultimately, about school policies rather than poor teachers.

I had a lot of issues with my DCs' school much of which was, ultimately, about them trying to conform to government requirements. But their class teachers were fantastic and I had huge respect for them.

Teachers are just people,there are some who are great at their jobs and some who aren’t.Its not a given that teachers just get automatic respect,some parents I know put them on a pedestal and are almost afraid of saying anything to them.I always cooperate with ds teacher but if something bothered me id bring it up with them,no need to be confrontational but just questioning somebody isn’t a bad thing at all.

There are quite a number of threads that are titled "teachers who do X", which then turn out to be one teacher the OP is pissed off about. I always think such posters a bit fick because they can't distinguish the particular from the general. They set the tone for the thread and it's a pisser. I blame the lack of critical thinking in schools. Teachers, eh?

What I do notice is that if a poster is being a bit precious/unreasonable/drip feeder, the mass of MNers will always pile in to point this out. At which point some hi-larious poster will say that it's a mortal sin to criticise teachers on MN, if they haven't posted it straight away, á propos of sod all right at the start.

In the end it's the product of social media, it's a channel for for venting, and AIBU is always posing a problem, and it will never be AIBU for thinking all teachers are utterly fabulous.

Its a shame that on many threads that the posters are unable to differentiate between 'go talk to the teacher' and 'everyone is calling your child a liar'.

Even more so when they come back with 'children don't lie', they do and are very good at omitting certain parts of the story that puts them in a bad light.

I think it is right and good that the default position isn't teacher is always right tbh. If I have doubts or queries of course I will raise them... respectfully of course but they are my children and I know them best.

I think it's good people post questions here questioning teachers ( just as they do questioning doctors or nurses or friends etc). People feel very strongly about their kids so it's natural that sometimes the PP will be told they are BU. I think that's fine, much better they're told this on an Internet forum than they go marching into school with a silly complaint!

MN has always had a fair number of teacher/school moaning posts.

Sometimes something has clearly gone wrong in school and posters will give suggestions for how the poster can deal with their concern, how to approach the teacher, how to escalate etc.

Other times it’s clear from the post that the parent is being unreasonable and posters are usually fairly quick to tell them so/give another perspective

I’ve posted on two school threads recently one of each type. It’s very rarely a pile in against teachers in general (although there are posters that clearly have longstanding issues with teachers) usually MNers are pretty good at providing balance.

Also you also have to remember that people only post when they have a problem so naturally you only get posts here moaning about teachers. A few of my DCs' teachers have been absolutely amazing but I've never made a post about them because I don't need to ask advice about it.

I am lucky that Ds has outstanding teachers at his school. I will still question things when I am not happy though but through the right channels.

A few years ago I did get to the point of nearly needing to escalate a complaint against a particular teacher but school dealt with it (and the many complaints from others!) and thankfully for our school atleast she soon moved on (probably realised her methods didn’t fit the ethos of the school)