Please help settle this between me and OH (baby feeding related)

[sadkoala]

Posting for traffic.

DS is 10mo and not a great sleeper. Wakes up around 4 times between 10pm-6am to BF. He won't take formula and will not settle without me giving him a feed.
Last night I gave him a feed at 2.20 am but he did not go back down like he usually does. He just alternated between babbling, crying and screeching like a banshee until 4.30 am when he finally went back to sleep after another feed. It might be teething (he currently has 2 full teeth and 4 half teeth which are coming through) or it might have just been one of those nights.

I feel like I'm not sure what caused this but OH is adamant that its the sugar balance in my diet and that I need to change it in order for DS to be more sated (this is his go to line every time I have had a tough night with DS btw) .
I pointed out that he only has 1 or 2 feeds through the day now and is mostly on solids - OH now reckons he is not getting enough vegetables in his diet and I should start adding more to his dishes.

I am prepared to be told I am in the wrong but I can't help but feel that OH is talking out of his backside.

Yesterday apart from 2 breastfeeds DS had

• baby muesli with milk for breakfast
• blueberries and toast
• some Mamia tomato wheels to keep him occupied when I was shopping
• greek style yogurt
• chicken with mashed potatoes and peas (granted mostly chicken and mash but he did have a bit of peas too)

today wasn't much different but for dinner he had 50/50 chickpeas and pasta with mince, chopped tomatoes and a bit of cheese on top.

I feel like those meals aren't too bad veg wise? Or are they?

I guess the question is - do I need to up my DSs veg intake in order for him to sleep better or should I tell OH to shut it?

OP, have you heard of the Wonder Weeks? When babies are making extra neural connections and working on new skills there is often general fussiness or irritability AND sleep regression. There's usually a period right around 10 months. Sometimes they'll have an unsettled night where they cry a lot, other times they'll be quite content to stay awake all night and play.

My son did this before nearly all of his milestones - sitting, crawling, pulling up and at 10 months it was confident cruising all over the house, with a few odd steps here and there when there wasn't anything to hang on to.

It honestly doesn't matter what he's fed. There will be other nights like this, it's part of being a parent, so DH needs to suck it up. DS will sleep more again, the jury's out on whether DH will stop being a dick.

Image attached for reference, but seriously, Google "wonder weeks and sleep" if you don't know about it already. Having that knowledge kept me sane on nights like that!

P.s. His diet sounds great.

Multiple night wakings can be caused by not having enough day sleep?

What is his nap routine in the day?

Multiple wakings could be that he’s overtired at bedtime, teeth, habit, can’t self settle back to sleep, growth or just because he’s a baby and some don’t sleep ☹️

If he was awake for a few hours without settling, I would guess at overtired at bedtime and a strong feed to sleep association.

Getting dad to resettle each time is a good idea too.

Thankyou for all the advice.

To the posters that questioned the night feedings - I have no doubt that he can't possibly be hungry and he's doing it just for comfort (he sucks really lazily but ramps it up when I'm about to remove the boob 😑)
But when I've tried to resettle without it in the past we have had screaming marathons for 2-3 hours until I'd give in and feed just to be able to get my head down for an hour or two.

From what I remember OH got the whole diet idea from his friend who said his DW went on a high veg no sugar (or something like that) diet and their LO slept through at 3 or 4 months and he attributes it to that because apparently the baby was getting all the correct nutrients or something 🤨

It sounds like BS to me but he's one of those annoying people who have to have something beaten out of their head for months before it actually goes away picks up aforementioned parsnip

I don't think it's because he's trying to get me to loose weight since I'm slightly smaller than I was pre DS.
He can't do the night wakings because he has a high pressure job where he has to be on the ball early in the morning and I'm a SAHM so it doesn't make sense to swap the nights.

Will try making sure he's having a proper lunch (even though most of it will end up on the floor I'm sure). And go from there.

He was up pretty much every hour from 10pm last night 😴 so I'm a bit desperate.

Thanks to the poster who mentioned the wonder weeks I'll have a look at that.

My 18m old still wakes 1-3 times a night and this is an improvement as he’s always been a terrible sleeper!
We reduced the night time feeds gradually by an ounce at a time but if you google it there are tips online about reducing breastfeeds by a minute at a time to gradually wean them off it. I think you’re doing really well with the eating for 10m!! Ignore your DH, he’s an arse!

I would also recommend the wonder weeks- both the book and the app.

It doesn't miraculously make your baby settle more easily or sleep for longer, but it helps you understand why they are waking or not settling. It is very often down to brain activity caused by a developmental surge (or 'leap' as they cause it in the book.) It can help to know that you are not alone, your baby isn't doing anything 'wrong' and nor are you (although I would perhaps keep a note of what solids you are giving and whether or not any nights of particularly disturbed sleep are linked to any foods. I did this and by the time I realised that he wasn't really coping with onions, he had outgrown the mild intolerance and was fine with them!)
Things change so quickly at this stage of a child's life and development (although at 3am it can feel like the SLOWEST era in time, ever, for you).

Your baby will not accept you settling him with a breastfeed.
The easiest way to night wean is for you to choose hours you won't feed during (day 10pm and 5am) and daddy resettle with cuddles and water.
If your dh is too busy and important to do it on a work night, have him take a few days off. Start on a Friday night and you'll probably be done by Wednesday.

Yep, DH can do nights when he is off work!

I have a baby about the same age - teething, new skills being showcased every day, has gone from being an amazing sleeper to waking a couple of times a night. She's FF although likes solids too. She eats a bit of what we're having (I miss you, salt and naturally salty foods) so does get a fair bit of veg but it has had no effect on her sleeping at all. In fact if you were tricked by correlation you'd conclude that it's made her sleep worse.

Food's all for fun under 12 months anyway - your baby is still getting most of his calories and nutrients from you. Did your husband not get the memo about babies not sleeping well?

Both of mine were formula fed. Eldest slept through at 6 months and youngest 3 weeks. My youngest obviously wasn’t weaning at that age so I don’t see how more vegetables is going to help surely it’s if they feel full? Mine had loads of veg etc and I started weaning my eldest at three months as he was hungry all the time!

He can't do the night wakings because he has a high pressure job where he has to be on the ball early in the morning and I'm a SAHM so it doesn't make sense to swap the nights

He can do some of them, honestly. I really hate when men say this. I (Mum) am back at work at a high pressure job where I have to be on the ball early in the morning and I am able to do at least a couple of nights a week. My husband can too. Perhaps this is revolutionary but you know what? It's important to be at least somewhat on the ball when you're solely responsible for a tiny human being whose mobility develops way earlier than their common sense.

People without children sleep badly for all sorts of reasons in all sorts of professions. Do they call in sick because of it? Does it render them incapable of doing their jobs? No. It does not.

Clearly he is batshit if he thinks more veg will get him to sleep. At the beginning of your thread I thought you were going to be feeding him ice cream and haribo all day!

You could try it if you want as it's not going to harm him! Or tell him you asked the doctor who told him he was wrong.

All babies wake up multiple times a night. Dome babies esp BF babies need help getting back to sleep as it is such a comfort to them they don't need to learn to self settle
Will probably only self settle if you leave it another few months and he learns himself, or if you sleep train

He's talking utter, utter shite.

Your OH is talking utter rubbish. Breastmilk is made from the blood not the contents of your stomach. Normal baby behaviour is to wake at night, especially when going through a developmental milestone / growth spurt etc.

Clearly he is batshit if he thinks more veg will get him to sleep. At the beginning of your thread I thought you were going to be feeding him ice cream and haribo all day!

You could try it if you want as it's not going to harm him! Or tell him you asked the doctor who told him he was wrong.

All babies wake up multiple times a night. Dome babies esp BF babies need help getting back to sleep as it is such a comfort to them they don't need to learn to self settle
Will probably only self settle if you leave it another few months and he learns himself, or if you sleep train

My DH took a week off work to night-wean DS, best thing we ever did! Get yours to do the same, it makes a world of difference and will help your baby learn to settle without a nipple in his mouth.

I have a 16 month old who I haven't fed during the night for 4-5 months now and he still wakes up once during the night in hopes for a BF. He eats a ridiculous amount of food during the day including lots of vegetables and naps once a day for 90ish minutes.
Last night he slept 7:30-5:30, hopefully we are turning a corner but I am not holding my breath.
Your baby will eventually sleep all night,at 10 months I wouldn't worry at all!