Please help settle this between me and OH (baby feeding related)

[sadkoala]

Posting for traffic.

DS is 10mo and not a great sleeper. Wakes up around 4 times between 10pm-6am to BF. He won't take formula and will not settle without me giving him a feed.
Last night I gave him a feed at 2.20 am but he did not go back down like he usually does. He just alternated between babbling, crying and screeching like a banshee until 4.30 am when he finally went back to sleep after another feed. It might be teething (he currently has 2 full teeth and 4 half teeth which are coming through) or it might have just been one of those nights.

I feel like I'm not sure what caused this but OH is adamant that its the sugar balance in my diet and that I need to change it in order for DS to be more sated (this is his go to line every time I have had a tough night with DS btw) .
I pointed out that he only has 1 or 2 feeds through the day now and is mostly on solids - OH now reckons he is not getting enough vegetables in his diet and I should start adding more to his dishes.

I am prepared to be told I am in the wrong but I can't help but feel that OH is talking out of his backside.

Yesterday apart from 2 breastfeeds DS had

• baby muesli with milk for breakfast
• blueberries and toast
• some Mamia tomato wheels to keep him occupied when I was shopping
• greek style yogurt
• chicken with mashed potatoes and peas (granted mostly chicken and mash but he did have a bit of peas too)

today wasn't much different but for dinner he had 50/50 chickpeas and pasta with mince, chopped tomatoes and a bit of cheese on top.

I feel like those meals aren't too bad veg wise? Or are they?

I guess the question is - do I need to up my DSs veg intake in order for him to sleep better or should I tell OH to shut it?

Haha as if it were that easy. Your DH is a comedy genius!

Like pp my DS sleep massively improved after 3 nights of sending DH in instead of me. Aged about 10m. He still wakes some nights and I do go to him, teething or whatever. In any case, 1 night waking is a lot easier than 3 or 4!!!

Remember, whatever the cause, it's just a phase! Hope it passes soon.

Don't put teething gel on before any meals. Numbs everything and increases the risk of choking.

Yep, your OH is talking out of his backside. Magic vegetables! - if only it was that easy. Fill your DS up with plenty of protein and possibly consider stopping using BF as a soother to settle him when he wakes. I found stopping night feeds a tough decision to make and mine were a bit older than your DS when I decided that they would be comforted if they woke but not fed - about 14 months. I would BF at bedtime and again in the morning but not during the night. We had a couple of rough nights while they adjusted to the new regime but they started sleeping through.

More veg probably won’t make him sleep better. He could probably do with eating some more veg though and a proper lunch? I would be offering lots of bitter veg so he doesn’t get too used to sweet tastes. If you want him to sleep through you need to stop feeding him in the night and if he still doesn’t sleep through try some sleep training.

I also have a BF 10 month. Having read what your baby eats I am slightly concerned I am over feeding mine. I do try to get as much protein in as possible. Could you up the size of the meals to see if it helps?

Today:
Breakfast - Ready brek with milk and spoonful of natural yogurt and fruit puree, handful of cheerios, some blueberries with cup of formula milk

Breast feed

Lunch - beef and potato casserole (carrots, onions, etc in it); few teaspoons of sweetcorn, full sized pot of yoghurt, pomegranate seeds, blueberries, couple of breadsticks with water

Breast feed

Dinner - cauliflower cheese with pasta and peas, some cooked chicken, steamed broccoli, some chopped banana and raisins, some more cheese, grapes

Breast feed before bed

Tell your H to STFU. He's picking at the sugar in your diet? is he the sort of prick who thinks you should have 'got your figure back' and therefore he's entitled to nag you about what you eat, only he's dressing it up as concern for the baby.

Sometimes babies use you like a dummy, the sucking soothes them to sleep. The night waking may not be because baby is hungry, just he has woken and needs soothing back to sleep.

Then again maybe a wallop across the head with a parsnip was what he meant?

I followed the Gina Ford book (runs and hides before the other mumsnetters get me!)

Nothing to do with the vegetables! They sleep when they are ready & you are doing a brilliant job - ‘this too shall pass’ (& your DH is being a dick!) :)

Did baby have lunch? Having a proper lunch might reduce the amount of night feeds - I mean it's highly unlikely, but worth a punt. You definitely need more veg there but certainly not as a sleep aid haha. I give something like a sandwich at lunch, with cucumber and tomatoes or peppers. Dinner is usually a one pot meal of some description eg stew/casserole/curry/bolognese etc with lots of veg in it, with peas and sweetcorn on the side.

He could probably use a proper lunch and more veg but it definitely won’t help his sleep! And the sugar in your diet is total nonsense. If you are considering night weaning and/or sleep training then the logical thing to do is to send your DH in to deal with every single waking as he doesn’t have boobs.

Your dh is Indeed talking out of his arse and should now give you a night off and do all the night feeds for being such a giant Dunder head
How dare he critique your diet and feeding if his child? What's HE doing yo help at night? Express and leave him to it

I'm not 100% convinced that your baby is actually hungry and thirsty four times a night every night. My 2nd ds was still feeding twice a night at that age, but not because he needed it, because it was a habit (I could tell - he wasn't ravenous, just cross if my breast was not forthcoming...). No way was he in desperate need of the sustenance, he was just used to the ritual and didn't want to get back to sleep another way (and I was too knackered to find alternative ways to get him back to sleep). Eventually, at a year old, I stopped one of the night feeds (a few days of protests at being soothed without breast being offered, then sleeping through that one), then stopped the other. Tbh, therefore, I think you are going for the night at a time path of least resistance, which in the long run is the path of maximum unnecessary exhaustion for you. Or do you really believe your ds is genuinely in need of breast milk that often overnight?

callmeadoctor
Me too from when dd was around 8 weeks. It worked like a dream for dd, who was really struggling with the most erratic sleep patterns on a 3 day loop. This got us into a routine. I know she’s been called death to breastfeeding. I was told her method worked because my supply was already getting establishes.

The thing I would give you that really helped from she, who will not be named (GF) was giving dd expressed milk to get her through the night. Idk when it started. I’d have to read the book again. I used to get up earlier than dd and express off my milk. That milk then became her dream feed at 11.30pmish. Half an hour later I could give her the morning feed from my boobs.

Will your ds take a bottle of expressed milk?

As for the diet thing and telling you how to nourish your baby from your body. Um no. Humans tried this up to the early part of the 20th century. Men giving women strict 4 hourly regimes of feeding and for how long and on which breast. From memory that didn’t go well.

Both my DC eat a shitload of veg.

One was a fairly good sleeper from 3 months

One was waking more than hourly at that age, and is still not great at 2.5 years old.

9-12 months is a notoriously shitty time for sleep.

I guarantee it's got fuck all to do with what you or he are eating.

Your OH is wrong. I lived on sugar in the early breastfeeding days, the cravings were real and I didn’t fight them

Only suggestion that may help are more feeds during the day? My BF 12 mo still wakes up around 3 or 4 times a night, doesn’t eat as much your 10 mo (not for a lack of trying 🤯) and is often awake like that in the night. So I’m probably the worst person to offer advice

What is DP 's logic?
FWIW it sounds as if you have a normal baby who has a better diet than most.He obviously wants to be fed at night whether for food, drink or comfort is somewhat immaterial.
I find being told what to do by another adult infuriating and would struggle with trying to appease my DP with this nonsense.

Oh god I remember this stage! I'll never know if it was teeth, or a leap, or digestive stuff as a result of solids/weaning getting cranked up, or the moon being in aquarius, or him being haunted by the ghost of my auntie mary- whatever. It certainly wasn't anything to do with sugar, or lack of vegetables in my milk (ffs bm is naturally sugary- full of complex sugars that protect the gut). It is admirable that your DH is taking such an interest, but it is entirely misplaced in this case, and it's not his tits, not his feeding relationship, and with respect, he needs to find a better outlet for his concern.

One thing I will say from looking at your menu, is that chickpeas and things of that ilk are incredibly gassy and indigestible for a child of that age- I would really keep it simple with weaning for as long as you can- loads of time to turn them into little gastronomes once their bellies are more developed, and as BM is so easily digestible (unlike dairy), anything that's not bm can come as a shock.

Daddy settling is the answer. My OH booked a week off work and went in a for every night waking. He’s slept through the night since (bad occasional illness). Not sure that’s what your OH wants to hear

What welshmaid said .....

Vegetables my arse

He is chatting shit

Sounds to me like your OH loves to whinge about what you're doing wrong, but what is he actually doing about it?

DD was breastfed (still is once a day at 14 months) and my god it was a nightmare getting her off the boob at night. Only thing that worked was sending DP in with a bottle, she wouldn't take one off me as she knew I was the 'source' so to speak. Only took a couple of nights before she stopped bothering and went down to waking just once.

Wow, your DH is totally right!

He's so amazing, I think he should definitely do all the night wake-ups from now. How's about tomorrow, you have a salad for lunch, then hand DS over to DH for the night time?

Do make sure you have a niiiice soft pillow, cos you're going to get a lovely long sleep! And if DS wakes, just remember: DH knows what to do, cos he always knows best.

(I know you can't, but if wishing made it so ...)