To think vegetarian mums are selfish?

[lisabd345]

There's a woman on my Facebook who has a son 6 years old.
She's a vegetarian and she's made sure her son is too.
She's just posted that her son is suffering from iron deficiency and GP has said it's probably due to his diet and the fact he doesn't eat meat....and the GP has gave him medication to take every day and he is crying about it ..so she's asking what to feed him to bring iron levels up.
Aibu to think he should make a decision when he's older if he wants to be vegetarian and not have it forced upon him?

Geraldine170 Well, with respect, that will depend on which of the thousands of clicks you land on. Googling nutrition information isn’t the best idea unless you know what you’re doing. I’m going by the NHS info, which was also given to me when I had a non anemic iron deficiency due to undiagnosed hypothyroidism. Internal bleeding is, from memory, usually the biggest problem. What i know for certain, and included in a previous comment an extract from the American Dietetic Ass, is that vegetarians do not have anemia at higher rates.

I am a pescatarian but have always felt it should be a personal choice so my children are omnivores until they are old enough to make an informed decision and healthy balanced food choices. They are 7 and 10 and the youngest didn't even realise I didn't eat meat till about a year ago. I don't want them to feel they can cut out parts of their diet without considering nutrition and I have always emphasised that food is about nutrition rather than 'good' or 'bad'.

I think to bring a child up as vegan or vegetarian and then to say they can later choose for themselves to eat meat is disingenuous and in a lot of cases probably intended to ensure the child remains a non- meat eater. I certainly would have been too squeamish and unaccustomed to the texture/ taste of something like meat to incorporate it into my diet later in life, especially if discussions were had at home around ethics in meat production.

silentseas But why is your default position omnivorous inc animal foods? Surely you’re still making an ethical choice for them? So either way you’re making a choice for them, as parents tend to do. As has already been made clear, there is no health issue so what is so wrong with it really? It’s weird this is an issue for anyone IMO.

I certainly would have been too squeamish and unaccustomed to the texture/ taste of something like meat to incorporate it into my diet later in life, especially if discussions were had at home around ethics in meat production.

Equally, lots of people are too accustomed to and reliant on meat later in life to commit to being vegetarian even when the environmental and animal rights aspect means they want to. How is that any different?

There is no true dietary default here. Whatever your kids eat, it’s a decision you’ve made for them. Once kids are old enough to choose they should absolutely be given the freedom to do so, but it’s madness to suggest that choosing to give kids meat is less interventionist than choosing not to. They are both choices, they both have consequences, they both require you to mitigate any potential health implications.

AuntBeastie 👌🏾 Exactly.

I'm not sure she's being selfish but needs to get his diet a bit more balanced. My partner is a born and raised veggie and I eat meat. Our son is 7 months old and we decided to let him eat meat and wbe hes old enough he can decide which way he wants to go and we'll respect his decision.

Hmm @neweternal I would disagree. It’s only controlling whether it comes from an animal- which is repulsive to me, and others. It seems alien to want to eat dead animals because they are dead animals, drinking another animals milk/eating eggs also seems just plain weird and the fact that most people do it through choice not necessity is baffling. Likewise feeding meat to kids- what about all the potentially deadly pathogens or cancer causing agents? Why is it seen as bad parenting to want to avoid these?

BTW I’ve had people comment how easy I am to feed despite being vegan I.e I’ll eat whatever is put down in front of me, as long as it isn’t from an animal. Savoury/sweet, healthy or junk. Unlike many picky omnivores- eg no carbs, no bread, no soya, no gluten.

The only thing that I couldn’t finish in recent years was a gluten free vegan pizza, because it was rank. Most other vegans I know are similar- restrictions are due to convictions, not eating disorders.

@pennydrew I'm not trying to be rude. I have no issue if YOU choose to be a vegan. The problem is when you say that you'll take that decision off your child until what age? You know legally she can go on the pill without your consent a 12, she can refuse medical treatment, being responsible for criminal activity so the law says she knows right/wrong, she can decide which parent she want to live with in a break up. In the eyes of the law they are capable of making decisions. You're taking that choice away. Actually it does come down to parenting how is your opinion more valid than your child's?

Neweternal Cut the crap. You’ve been intentionally and repeatedly rude. And you’re just repeating yourself now, talking about an entirely different topic really. That’s a conversation about when children should have autonomy and that is, other than existing laws, down to each family to decide and has absolutely nothing to do with vegetarianism! We make decisions for them on all manner of things! Just go about your business making your parental decisions in the best way you can and have the decency to allow others that same freedom. Painting an entire group of people/parents in a negative or sinister light as you are, just because they make a different ethical or dietary choice, is really incredibly intolerant.

@pennydrew Is that the kind of response you would give a 15 year old for wanting a Nando's?

Yes you are being unreasonable.
Nothing at all wrong with bringing your children up to be vegetarians.
Incidentally what's her child's health got to do with you ?
He's got an iron deficiency.
It's hardly abuse.

Treatable iron deficiency anaemia is in my book much preferable to a lifetime higher risk of cancer & heart disease. Saying that I’m veggie & I let my kids choose what they eat.

Here we go again. Mum bashing. Why is it the mother's fault? Where is the dad in all of this? I'm not vegetarian but I can imagine that as a vegetarian it may well not sit well to have to handle meat. Like others have said, the kid could be iron deficient on any number of types of diet. He could also have an allergy. This judgy nonsense is exactly why women cant get ahead in this world. If its not dealing with misogyny, its dealing with other women and their views on your ability to bring up a child. Instead of calling her selfish, how about pitching in with some helpful comments on how to help with the current situation like she asked.

Im veggie and my kids have been brought up veggie. They are now adult and can choose for them selves what they eat. They choose not to eat the dead flesh of once live animals. None of them had problems with iron or any other vitamins. Its possible to have a perfectly healthy veggie diet just as its possible to have a rubbish diet filled with meat.

This is nothing to do with vegetarians as a whole. This is to do with one mum getting it a bit wrong and needing support getting a great diet into her child.
Don't tarnish a whole group of people by ONE person's situation. Being judgemental doesn't help anyone.
Stay positive San Diego

I know a few Indian families who are fully vegetarian and none of the kids are deficient in anything. It's probably because they have a good range of vegetarian foods like lentils etc... The woman needs to gain knowledge not start feeding meat.

I am 65 & brought up both my children as vegetarians. Neither had anaemia at any time & both were sickeningly healthy! They both had a slight problem with milk intolerance so I had to make really sure they got enough calcium & vitamin D. Whatever your children s diet is, you need to make sure they get enough vitamins & minerals. Remember in many countries meat is a luxury. In countries like India people often eat grain & pulses together because the protein is easier to access in that combination. I haven't eaten red meat since 1971.

I know of no correlation between vegetarian parents and poor diet. I know plenty of poor diet causing deficiency. My Mum was told by my GP that my not eating liver would cause anaemia...yet I've never actually suffered as I eat other iron rich foods. It's a very backward attitude. Some people's idea of vegetarian is just not healthy or balanced, especially if your kids don't eat veg either!

Yabu. I am vegetarian and prone to iron deficiency (have been iron deficient many times, most of which was during the 32 years of my life when I did eat meat).

My DD is pescatarian (vegetarian but also eats fish). This was her choice (DH eats meat and she did too for a long time) and she knows she needs to eat plenty of vegetables including iron rich foods to stay healthy. She also has a daily multivitamin to make sure she gets what she needs. She knows if she’s eating iron rich foods for dinner then not to drink milk alongside it as the calcium prohibits iron absorption.

The woman in question needs to educate herself on iron rich foods and make sure she is feeding him enough of what he needs. The last thing you think ant with vegetarian children (or any for that matter) is a mineral deficiency as it can stop them growing properly. I do worry slightly about vegan children as it’s difficult to get vitiman B12 in a vegan diet so really needs to be supplemented. I know a few vegans who refuse to supplement or accept anything other than a raw vegan diet and that is dangerous for growing children.

On the most part though people who are vegetarian or vegan are more aware of food and nutrition in general so do quite well at balancing their own/ their children’s diets. You do also get the vegetarians that live on cheese on toast and super noodles and they are they type that are likely to have an iron deficiency.

So I am 'indecent and consciousness ' for not being veggie ?!😵

It's not selfish to bring your child up vegetarian. You just have to make sure they get the relevant nutrients from other non meat sources.

Given that a lot of meat is pumped full of drugs like antibiotics and that research has shown a strong link between processed meat and cancer, then it could be argued that unless you are feeding your child organic, non processed meat, it is actually selfish to bring them up as meat eaters.

And in response to the part about 'forcing' a vegetarian diet on a child, shouldn't it be the child's decision to eat meat when they are older and not have a diet of dead animals forced upon them?

I don't think being iron deficient is down to the veggie diet. I'm pescetarian, but eat very little fish, the odd bit of tuna here anywhere only. I have never been iron deficient. When I had my blood test whilst pregnant my doctor advised I probably would be low in iron due to my diet, but actually my levels were extremely healthy.

My daughter eats all meats, but I don't cook them at home. She will eat cold meat here and if my partner decides to eat meat he will cook it for her, but I'm not touching it.

I think you should introduce your children to all kinds of foods so they have a real variety in their diet including all food groups

Fortunately, @MrsKnickers12, a vegetarian diet doesn't exclude any food groups and contains a wide variety of foods.

I think everyone should have choice though (including children)- which includes meat