Should a non academic child consider a grammar school?

[autismdisabilitymum]

Hello, I'm a newbie so excuse my lack of Mumsnet terms!
I'm in a quandary about grammar schools and my daughter. She is year 5 and I always believed she would go to our towns big comp. it's next door to the school my disabled sons go to and she's happy about going there. But....
ALL of her friends are going for the grammar school exams, our town is quite posh (we're not) so I'm not surprised but I didn't expect all of them. My daughter has dyscalculia (maths dyslexia) and I can't see her getting through the exams or even coping with the practise. She's not particularly academic, she loves drama and English. Some of the other mums are beginning to question why I'm not even considering it and I'm wondering if I'm wrong. My daughter just wants to be with her friends and that is her driving force.
Am I being too 'I went to a big comp and I'm ok' , can a non academic child get into & thrive in a grammar school?
Thanks ladies xxx

Dyscalculia is more to do with difficulty in understanding mathematical concepts rather than difficulties reading or writing numbers.

No shit.

To some extent it depends on which area you’re in. Some areas have enough grammar places for around 25% of children. Others are far more selective and it would be unkind to put her through the prep and process if she struggles with maths. I’m in a super-selective area and my very academic DS (yr 5) has recently started prep at home. If I felt he needed tutoring or prep from earlier, or thought he might struggle, I wouldnt have been keen because I think the school needs to be a good fit for the child.
Also, friendships often change in the early years of secondary school. Good luck

I’m not sure she’d get as much of that in a grammar school.

Don't see why not.

I work in a grammar and to put it bluntly she will be eaten alive and her self esteem could plummet. I see it with the year 7s at the moment. It is already blatantly obvious who were tutored extensively to get in the school. It is a tough academic regime.

Don't put her through all that stress and anxiety if she hasn't a realistic chance of getting in. She won't gain anything from the experience and you could seriously damage her self esteem.
Grammar schools places round here are very competitive -about 20 applicants for each place. It's a speed test as well as an academic test so if you haven't been heavily tutored...or are a genius...forget it.

Go with the school you think will suit her, not the mums at the school gate.

Don't worry not all her friends will get in and unfortunately will suffer the heartache of 'failure' that should be unecessary if the parents were realistic.
Only 50% of those that took it at my dc school passed and not all those got a place (super selectives). Some of them were devasted as the parents put so much score on it being so important to pass.
Non academic children DO struggle at grammar school and it can do more harm than being in a comprehensive. I would tell the parents that you have considred it but do not feel it would be the right environment for your dd. It might make them think a bit more about what suits their kids best rather than pushing them into grammar "because everyone does it"
PS grammar does not mean posh, it is just an academic option. The kids at my dd grammar included those from the local council estate and whilst the girls can be intellectual snobs they never are about background

How about letting her take a practice test at home. See how she gets on. She might surprise you. It also means she knows what she’s letting herself in for. I would let her go to a grammar if they had decent pastoral care and a history of supporting learning difficulties. Discalcula doesn’t mean she isn’t academic or can’t be.

I have Dyscaluclia and innate a BA Hons Psychology 2:1 and and MSc they had compulsory stats modules.

I loved my degree, so found the stats modules ok.