Ebaying to keep us afloat. AIBU or not to care what people think?

[Foofloofah]

And by that I especially mean my family. Had a few snarky comments like “oh you will probably sell that” when they give my kids clothes or gifts. Not from my family but the in laws. I have to bite my tongue to say “well if you shopaholic son/nephew didn’t get us in this mess I wouldn’t have to!”. Not that I do ever sell anything we get as gifts or hand me downs. I pass them all on to friends who are in the same boat or charity. Just feel that as a SAHM (can’t work as kids to young and childcare costs would outstrip any financial gains) I need to do what I can to keep us afloat. Getting hacked off. I work hard to sell what we no longer use but paid good money for. Does anyone else EBay to keep going? What witty remark can I say next time I get a snarky comment?

Don't bite your tongue... "well x has got a shopping problem and hot is into debt so I don't have a choice, unless you want to bail him out?"

Tell mil buyers are always interested in purchasing old bags.....

I'm impressed if you take much. I just can't seem to these days. I think we don't have the money for nice brands and the young DC ruin most of their clothes.

I have a few toys I could list but nothing spectacular. The limit on postage often eats all profits.

Are you selling stuff your DH has purchased. If it's new I guess it's worth it but it's crazy if he's spending £1000s to make back £100s

Ps Don't tell anyone what you do.

ILs : Are selling on eBay at the mo.
You: Not at the moment

Good for you, doing whatever it takes.

I'm a SAHM too and I think it makes you very aware of how much things cost. The idea of just throwing something out that has a value - either by giving it to someone else or by selling - horrifies me.

I do it, i make about £200 a month, I mostly sell my childrens outgrown clothes, toys, bed linen etc

I love looking for bargains so often pick up things at car boot sales & either keep them or list them.

I don't sell items that were gifts unless they've been used/worn by my dc for a good while (year +) & if someone gives me a bag of hand-me-down clothes that we don't want I'll pass them onto someone else or donate to a charity shop. Wouldn't feel right to sell them.

I bought a bin bag full of clothes from a car boot for £5 in my dd's size. She looked through it & kept a couple of pairs of jeans & a hoodie but didn't like the rest so I sold it & made £45!!

It's a bit of a hobby now!

Exactly! My OH sounds like there is no tomorrow and he buys too wuakity gear (top brands etc) and doesn’t look for bargains or use cash back website or use discount vouchers etc so if he isn’t using it and it’s still brand new I sell it. I also sell my belongings and my kids better brand clothes (although I am running out of these now) because I worked hard for that stuff when I worked F/T. I also am angry my OH overspends or starts hobbies he never moves on from the initial purchases and leaves it collecting dust! I make about £100 a week and use it for the kids (Xmas/Bdays/sport fees etc). He should be thanking me! Might try car boots to see if I can resell for a little profit. The only thing I hate about EBay is the dreaded weekly visit to the post office with 15 packages and whisper “I need proof of postage for all of them”. 😂

top quality gear

YANBU to not give a shit what anything thinks

YABU not to tell your husband to either sort his issues out or fuck off.

YANBU, ignore them! Nothing wrong with ebaying grown out of clothes etc.
I'm a SAHM and Ebay any outgrown clothes/toys etc, never get much for them but it all helps if you're skint like me!

Good for you. I hate selling on ebay now. Bunch of scammers and ebay sides with them even when you send it signed for. The postage is so high because it needs to be tracked. Waste of my time now.

Yeh I don’t use eBay any more due to the scammers and fees, but I use Facebook, gumtree etc and sell all our used stuff.

The only thing is, it sounds like your husband is buying something, not using it, and then you sell it. So it would be better if he just didn’t buy it in the first place as I’m sure you won’t be getting 100% of the money back... he is losing the family money as you are not really ‘making money’ in this situation

Good luck I hope he makes some changes soon

I agree and we have had the talk a few times but finally something is sticking. I told him if a parcel comes to the house for him I won’t take it in and will send it back, threatened him with an allowance and basically said his debt is his as we aren’t married. He has pulled his socks up and I think he realises that if it isn’t nailed down I will sell it. Gumtree I haven’t tried for years but will check it out. FB pages are good but find it frustrating when people either say they are interested but change their minds or don’t even bother to show up.

How much stuff do you have if you're selling £400 a month worth??

Trust me I have a garage full andevery available space (drawers, storage etc is rammed full of stuff). He only buys top quality goods and won’t part with them...until now. I can get all my personal possessions like clothes, books, photos in the boot of a car. He would need three trucks. I am a minimalist whereas he is a hoarder. Drives me insane.

This is a really sad thing to read. You have to sell your belongings and your children's clothes to essentially fund your husbands extravagant lifestyle.

He's a selfish twat.

I used to when my kids were young, nothing wrong with it, ignore family and in the future don't tell them what you're doing, they are rude.

I ebay , not to keep afloat really just to give me a bit more spending money - every little helps. Probably making about £15-£20 a week so not that much, but covers extras like a lunch out with friends, cinema trip for son, bit of extra pocket money here and there etc
I work part time and frequently use lunch breaks to go post office with parcels. Am getting well known for this at work, but mainly people are more curious about how I manage to find the time, interested to know what sells, how much things go for etc.

I really couldn't care less what people think anyway and neither should you.
Its up to you how you make your money - its not like you are doing anything illegal fgs. Good for you to making a go of it I say.

I wouldn't judge you for doing this but its not a long term strategy is it really. sooner or later you are going to run out of things to sell. how are you going to put food on the table then?

your OH needs to take the fiscal responsibility. if he cant be trusted with money then restrict him and explain why. It is a bit like treating him like a child but if he is going to behave like one - with no thought of the consequences then on his head be it.

personally this sort of behaviour would be an absolute deal breaker for me. you are busting your balls keeping the family going whilst he is ordering expensive shit to be delivered that he doesn't even use.

Have you tried selling on depop? I think fees are less than ebay and no end date til sold

Yup about sums it up. But he does work 6 days a week. Like I keep telling him, he wouldn’t have to if ‘we’ stopped spending like there is no tomorrow. He blames me for our overspend when it’s clear as day it’s him. It’s an addiction like any other.

No what’s depop? This sounds like a better alternative will check it out thanks for the tip.
I have 3 kids so we have a lot of things baby/child related that just need clearing out/donating or selling. I am always surprised at what people will buy but then again if you get decent items for a fraction of the price it’s just good economics.

Love the fact that you are selling your DH's stuff, note to self: I must take this up, we have an old mini car in the drive, loads of bloody books, far too many for one person, and a shed load of bits & bobs he 'likes the look of' - I will see you on ebay people!

This is a really sad thing to read. You have to sell your belongings and your children's clothes to essentially fund your husbands extravagant lifestyle.

Quite agree.

Depop is not great. Much smaller audience than ebay. Have never had any success on there.

Basically, OP, you're wasting your life trying to make money back on stuff your dh has bought!!

Why does it fall to you?? Get him to stop buying stuff! Or get him to sell it. Think how much nicer your life would be without this... Get him to take 50% of the responsibility for selling stuff. Then he might think twice about buying so much.

you need to sort this out OP. get hold of bank statements and do a monthly account. show him where he is wasting money. so what he works 6 days a week! lots of us do. and yes, it is an addiction and like all addiction nothing happens until they decide to do something and this is usually when they hit rock bottom. you do know what hitting rock bottom is going to look like don't you OP? mortgage arrears, second mortgages, bills not being paid, bailiffs etc.

you might think I am being dramatic but I am really not. sit down with him asap. show him how much his shit is costing and then ask him at what point will he realise that enough is enough. I feel for you - its horrible. but as I said upthread for me this sort of fiscal incompetence and irresponsibility is a complete deal breaker so for me it would be either he sorts it or he goes - simple as.

My DD sells on bepop, its a teen thing they all do it, though you have to pose in the gear you're selling (ok you don't have to but its quite funny to see them all posing in their gear), she sells loads of stuff and last time I looked had made about £700, not bad for a teen, you can make money from it