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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Secretly filmed in the toilet by ex colleague.

57 replies

Tropaz11 · 01/10/2018 18:48

I have to start by saying I have name changed. This story is not me but one of my colleagues. I have told it in her perspective as neither of us know what to do.

At the weekend I was out with a load of colleagues. An ex colleague was there. Previously some women I work with have complained that he is a bit creepy and said that when they’ve talked to him he has tried to film down their tops etc.

There was a toilet in the club we were in that was only being used by us (had an area roped off). I went to use the loo and noticed someone had left their phone on top of the sanitary bin. I thought this was pretty weird as it’s quite an unhygienic place to leave your phone. When I picked it up I noticed it had a metal device attached to the bottom of it. I pressed the screen to find out who it belonged to but the screen wouldn’t light up, as if it was turned off. I started to feel really weird, like something was up.

I went back out to the bar and over to my friends who were coincidentally talking to the creepy guy. I said that I had found the phone in the toilet and that it was really weird to be positioned on the sanitary bin.

Immediate the guy got very panicked and acted odd. He grabbed the phone saying it was his and then went home. Didn’t see him again all night.

My colleague has told a few people this story and we don’t know what to do. She’s been advised to tell HR and that they will inform the police if needs be but this is obviously an ex colleague and it happened out of work.

What should she do?

OP posts:
PintOfMineralWater · 01/10/2018 18:50

Police. Someone was just prosecuted for doing exactly this where I live. The police will be able to recover any deleted footage.

Spudina · 01/10/2018 18:51

The filming was a crime. You don't have to go HR, you should just go straight to Police. Creep.

nocoolnamesleft · 01/10/2018 18:53

Police.

MissionItsPossible · 01/10/2018 18:55

Tell your friend to call the police

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 01/10/2018 18:56

HR can't do anything as he has left, you need to call the police. But YANBU to do that - sorry I think this was the question.

HollowTalk · 01/10/2018 18:56

What bloody creep. Police.

GladAllOver · 01/10/2018 18:57

Yes, this is a police job. No question.

MynameisJune · 01/10/2018 18:57

How does she know if was filming if it never lit
Up? Am I missing something?

Tropaz11 · 01/10/2018 18:59

She doesn't know it was filming but it seems like it could have been.

OP posts:
randomchap · 01/10/2018 18:59

Police, they should still be able to access any deleted files on the phone. They should be able to take any IT equipment he has at home too as he may have copied stuff.

GladAllOver · 01/10/2018 19:00

An app can turn off the screen while it is recording. The man's reaction shows that he was up to no good.

MynameisJune · 01/10/2018 19:01

I’m not saying he wasn’t but without proof would the police be able to do anything? Was the toilet unisex or had he purposely left his phone in the ladies?

Tropaz11 · 01/10/2018 19:02

It was a unisex toilet.

OP posts:
NothingOnTellyAgain · 01/10/2018 19:07

I always have trouble with this sort of thread.

There are always posters who tell women not to report things to the police unless they have proof.

I get that it's a suspicion at this point and the police are busy etc but I think women should report it when they thin sexually motivated crimes have been committed even if they don't have proof. A strong suspicion which seems quite reaosnable here + the police's job is to look for proof.

Women are put off reporting sex crimes enough as it is IMO.

MyNameIsNotSteven · 01/10/2018 19:17

I'm not seeing anything to suggest the phone was filming Confused

plominoagain · 01/10/2018 19:21

Definitely police . It’s a criminal offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 , and it’s not for you to prove. That’s not your job . I’d be willing to bet it’s not the first time .

Gersemi · 01/10/2018 19:31

How can the police access deleted files if they can't access the phone? If he was doing something dodgy, he can give them any phone and claim it was the one your colleague saw.

HollowTalk · 01/10/2018 19:35

But would anyone leave their phone in full sight in a public toilet? What if someone stole it?

HollowTalk · 01/10/2018 19:36

And if they stole it and found it was recording, then it would be easy to work out whose phone it was and report it to the police.

HollowTalk · 01/10/2018 19:36

Why didn't his colleagues report him for filming down their tops?

MynameisJune · 01/10/2018 19:41

@nothingontellyagain I’m not saying not report it, but at the minute it’s only a suspicion because the phone belonged to a creep. Had it belonged to a friend would the OP have thought it was filming? Why not ask him at the time to turn it on and prove he wasn’t filming?

SirGawain · 01/10/2018 19:48

Probably not, but then her friend was presumably a creep.

SirGawain · 01/10/2018 19:49

Sorry. Not a creep.

plominoagain · 01/10/2018 19:50

Maybe she didn’t get the chance , as according to the OP , he grabbed the phone and left?

sleep5 · 01/10/2018 19:58

Did you take a photo of the phone? I'm curious what the device attached was - could be a battery pack - many people have those.

Sounds a bit odd that he'd leave it in full sight on the sanitary bin rather than putting it in a hidden location. But maybe that was planned so he'd have the obvious excuse should someone find and report it?

Definitely worth reporting to the police just in case but the evidence is probably long gone by now.

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