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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Secretly filmed in the toilet by ex colleague.

57 replies

Tropaz11 · 01/10/2018 18:48

I have to start by saying I have name changed. This story is not me but one of my colleagues. I have told it in her perspective as neither of us know what to do.

At the weekend I was out with a load of colleagues. An ex colleague was there. Previously some women I work with have complained that he is a bit creepy and said that when they’ve talked to him he has tried to film down their tops etc.

There was a toilet in the club we were in that was only being used by us (had an area roped off). I went to use the loo and noticed someone had left their phone on top of the sanitary bin. I thought this was pretty weird as it’s quite an unhygienic place to leave your phone. When I picked it up I noticed it had a metal device attached to the bottom of it. I pressed the screen to find out who it belonged to but the screen wouldn’t light up, as if it was turned off. I started to feel really weird, like something was up.

I went back out to the bar and over to my friends who were coincidentally talking to the creepy guy. I said that I had found the phone in the toilet and that it was really weird to be positioned on the sanitary bin.

Immediate the guy got very panicked and acted odd. He grabbed the phone saying it was his and then went home. Didn’t see him again all night.

My colleague has told a few people this story and we don’t know what to do. She’s been advised to tell HR and that they will inform the police if needs be but this is obviously an ex colleague and it happened out of work.

What should she do?

OP posts:

hazell42 · 01/10/2018 20:18

He left a phone in a unisex toilet, where he had every right to be. The phone was not switched on. He could have just forgotten it and will certainly say as much to the police. He probably was doing something creepy but I don't think he would have left it in such an obvious place if he was filming people. The next person to have to gone in would have seen it and picked it up. If it was hidden somewhere you might be right.
Your suspicions of his creepiness may well be justified. But I don't think you can do much with this.

ShineOnHarvestMoon · 01/10/2018 20:28

Crikey! Note to self: avoid unisex toilets, ever ever ever.

GladAllOver · 01/10/2018 21:30

Hazell there are apps to lock the screen off. It could be recording but look turned off. It's very likely that a pervert would do this to cover what he is doing.

If he has been recording illegally he will have been saving the videos at home. The police would be able to check his home computer, and I for one would be reporting this.

FunSponges · 01/10/2018 21:34

Surely if he was filming, it wouldn't have been sat in full view, where anyone would naturally pick it up to hand in or ask around who's it was? Doesn't really make sense.

downthestrada · 01/10/2018 21:58

An app can turn off the screen while it is recording.

I wondered about this. Someone tried to upskirt film me in the supermarket recently but I wasn’t totally sure that’s what he was doing because the screen looked to be off. :(

Angryresister · 01/10/2018 22:21

Unisex toilet eh? But this never ever happens.....

GladAllOver · 01/10/2018 22:26

I've seen this demonstrated.
Just check "'screen off app" in the Android store. I expect there is similar for iPhone.

Ghanagirl · 01/10/2018 22:33

@Tropaz11
Sounds like film plot, were you there and how well do you know the perpetrator...

Marble179 · 01/10/2018 22:35

Could the metal thing have been a PopSocket? They lay flat then pull out for grip. Other types may look different.

popsockets.co.uk

Ghanagirl · 01/10/2018 22:38

OP, where are you based as unisex toilets so rare in UK

C0untDucku1a · 01/10/2018 22:44

Ghanagirl Do you mean unisex toilets are rare in the uk, or you haven't seen many? A quick google...

Uncreative · 01/10/2018 22:47

Report it to the police.
If you are wrong, he has been questioned by the police and lived to tell the tale.
If you are right, he has been questioned by the police, possibly arrested and charged and flagged in case it happens again with further evidence.

tillytop · 01/10/2018 22:48

Agree with Angryresister This never ever happens and could never ever happen! Even when the men who claim to be women acquire full access to women's/girls toilets (because not enough people have tried to stop it)

Uncreative · 01/10/2018 22:49

Plus who the hell leaves their phone on a sanitary bin?

Findingdotty · 01/10/2018 22:51

Report it to 101. If nothing else it will be an information report to stay on file.
I can't see why you would report to your HR. The person doesn't work at your company.

AmericanEskimoDoge · 01/10/2018 23:06

HR makes no sense in this case. It wouldn't hurt to talk to the police about it if the friend is worried, but it does seem like a particularly stupid plan to leave the phone out in plain sight where someone would be so likely to see it/question why it was there/report it, if not outright steal it.

(...feeling a little skeptical...)

SpiritedLondon · 01/10/2018 23:08

I’m not sure the police are going to have enough evidence to proceed with an investigation - All you have is a phone left in a toilet that is legitimately being used by men and women. I guess there is an outside chance they could pursue it if the guy is known to them for similar type offences. They can’t just march in there and arrest him or seize the phone without some evidence. It would be interesting to know what the device is that was attached so perhaps you could research that a little bit and see if you could identify what it was - that might bolster the case a little.

heresyandwitchcraft · 01/10/2018 23:37

I think you need to trust your instincts on this, as it sounds very creepy. Agree with PPs to report to the police.

wafflyversatile · 02/10/2018 01:37

I can quite easily see an innocent explanation for this. He went to the toilet. He was having a dump so took his phone out of his pocket so it didn't fall down the toilet or because he was playing candy crush. He put it on the sanitary bin while he pulled his trousers up and forgot about it. This is what I would assume under almost every circumstance. A phone facing up from a flat surface wpild film the ceiling or maybe an elbow.

The things that makes it suspicious are his previous and if the thing stuck to it was putting it at an angle to film other occupants.

If you genuinely think he was filming call the police. They will either find evidence or they won't.

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 02/10/2018 01:41

Doesn't add up. You can't be sure he was filming and why would he be so stupid as to risk his phone nicked even if he was filming? Maybe he seemed panicked cos he thought he'd lost his phone?

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 02/10/2018 01:42

What kind of metal device was stuck to the bottom of it? Have you googled it and found out what it was?

steff13 · 02/10/2018 01:54

What could the police do at this point? They could question him, but all he's going to say he is forget his phone in the restroom. If he carries his phone in his pocket, he could have taken it out when he used the restroom to keep it from dropping on the floor. If he did film anything, I'm sure it's long gone by now. Could the police even get a warrant to look at his phone?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/10/2018 03:12

Don’t try and second guess how the police would investigate. Just report it.

CircleofWillis · 02/10/2018 03:49

Apart from the reports of him filming down tops etc. there does not seem to be anything to prove he hadn’t just left his phone on the bin when he went to the loo.
Why didn’t anyone complain about that?

April2020mom · 02/10/2018 04:08

Tell the police pronto. This is not appropriate behaviour.

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