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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..In not wanting to wean early?

54 replies

sweetjane · 12/06/2007 15:24

Should possibly have posted this in the Weaning section but am too annoyed and need a rant!!

I'll (try to) be brief. Ds is 5 and a bit months old. He is bf on demand, anything from every 2 to every 4 hours during the day. He wakes up x1 at night for a feed, or sometimes sleeps through from 10:30 til 7 (rarely but it does happen). He is happy, alert, active, gaining weight (not loads but steadily).

Then why ffs do family keep on and on at me to introduce solids now? HV is happy for me to wait until 6months. But the latest dire warning I have been given from family is that waiting too long could impede speech development and might mean he will resist solids later on as he will be too used to milk. AIBU? Someone please please please tell me if this is in any way evidence based or if you have experienced problems from waiting to wean yourself?

OP posts:
flibbertyjibbet · 12/06/2007 15:31

This is just one teeny short stage in your baby's life. In a few weeks he will be past 6m and going on to solids.
Then you can look forward to all the other things the family will criticise you for at every future stage he reaches!
I went to 6m before weaning ds1 (ds2 was 6.5m before he stopped pushing things out of his mouth), and all the inlaws thought it should have happened at 14 weeks as with sil. So I had nearly 3m of this pressure both times.
Just as I got to 6m with DS1 I met a lady who was still exclusively bf her 9m son. I asked my HV who said that SHE may have probs getting her son to take solids, but at 6m you have nothing to worry about. And speech development, BF is the best thing for that as the sucking effort is the best thing for all the facial and tongue muscles.
Don't worry as soon as he's weaned your family will want to be shovelling junk food down there and you'll wish he was still bf!

NatalieJane · 12/06/2007 15:34

Stick to your guns, I have, it is hard in the last month, but worth it

DS2 is now 6 months and a couple of days HV is coming on Monday to go through a few things for me and then we will start weening from then.

2shoes · 12/06/2007 15:37

yanbu
I only found out about it now being 6months through mn as mine are teens. so I was amazed when I first heard it.

flibbertyjibbet · 12/06/2007 15:40

What is YANBU? I keep seeing it on threads but its not on the list of acronyms.

NatalieJane · 12/06/2007 15:43

You Are Not Being Unreasonable

Lolly68 · 12/06/2007 15:44

FJ - YANBU means "you are not being unreasonable"!!

Desiderata · 12/06/2007 15:47

You're not being unreasonable in wanting to follow your instincts.

I didn't wait six months to wean, but I respect your decisions. I wouldn't get too annoyed with family, though. We're all products of our own experience, and ten, twenty, thirty odd years ago, it would have been quite strange to wait the full six months before weaning on to some kind of solids (if only a digestive biscuit).

Just do what feels right and try to ignore comments made by family. They're not, I am sure, meant nastily.

All evidence about solids resistance would be anecdotal. The only lady I know who waited this long before weaning did have certain problems with the introduction of solids, but that could be a coincidence.

He's nearly three now, so it's not an issue any longer.

aquababe · 12/06/2007 15:54

Why do people always seem to want you to make life harder on yourself.

I had my mum complaining from 1 month that dd needed weaning. I'd barely got the hang of bfing and they wanted me to move on. stuck to my guns though I did want to punch the any of the 'didn't do me any harm' people who commented.
never heard of any speech development issues from following whos guidelines!

just ignore them.

Original poster
sweetjane · 12/06/2007 16:10

thanks guys. i've been looking for info on the speech thing and the first place i found that mentioned it was on the cow & gate website

OP posts:
kittywits · 12/06/2007 16:11

I think the most important thing is that you follow your baby's lead. if you baby seems interested in food then try some, if not then wait. .
Guidlines should not be adhered to when they go against common sense an your instinct as a mother

Original poster
sweetjane · 12/06/2007 16:19

kittywits - i am sure if i gave him food he would take it, however i'm not sure that's the best indicator is it?

OP posts:
Original poster
sweetjane · 12/06/2007 16:22

just re read that and it sounds a bit arsey. what i meant was that he will put anything in his mouth but does not mean he is ready to eat.. at least, he seems full and content after bf still.

OP posts:
VictoriaQueenOfSponge · 12/06/2007 16:25

Oh tell them to ram it. He's your child.

DS wasn't weaned onto solids until 6m and 2 weeks, and he's a SERIOUS eater now (14 months). Not sure about speech - he talks constantly but it seems to be in Swahili

(love your nickname, BTW)

kittywits · 12/06/2007 16:28

If he seems perfectly happy and content then you don't need to change anything. When I said 'interested' I meant does he watch with great eagerness when he sees you eating?
Does he seem to want the food?
I remember with ds1 I had started weaning him as he was a thoroughly misereable baby. It really helped him. He was still have little bits of pureed stuff when one day at the dinner table he reached over, grabbed a handful of food from my plate and shoved it in his mouth!!

WigWamBam · 12/06/2007 16:30

It's not the best indicator, no.

Of course he would be interested in food - just as he would anything else he could lay his hands on. The fact it's food means nothing; if you gave him a toy car he would be "interested" in it - and he'd probably try and put it in his mouth, but it wouldn't be any indicator of whether he's ready for solids or not.

The 6 month thing is because your baby's gut may not be mature enough for solid food until six months, and that's not something that "mother's instinct" will tell you.

Stick to your guns; it's only another three weeks or so and it will pass before you know it.

kittywits · 12/06/2007 16:47

The change these guidleines all the time. i bet by the time my children have their own children they will be horrified at the way we have been advised to do things. one thing that's certain is that the guidlines are always changing based on 'new evidence', so I personally take them with a pinch of salt.

catsmother · 12/06/2007 16:58

I started to wean both my children when they were 7 months old. I did it then not because I thought I should but because I noticed an increase in appetite & more frequent feeds. Had this happened at 5 months, I'd have done it then ... in other words, I went by instinct, in spite of my mum questionning me.

Similarly, I b/f both until 13 & 15 months when they appeared to lose interest in me, but had they continued to, I would have carried on feeding too.

Right - neither of my kids has ever had any speech problems, my daughter's 1st word, prior to her 1st birthday was a very distinct "cat" ! Nor did they ever reject solids. My 3 year old DD eats just about anything now (including mussels, prawns, mushrooms, all fruit & veg, well, anything really).

The thing is, as a parent, you end up with a sort of 6th sense about these things. For example, many people can identify a hungry cry vs a tired cry and so on. Equally, you can usually tell when your baby's satisfied after a feed, or you'll start to notice that feeds themselves are getting longer with regularity. If your baby seems happy and is still putting on weight then you do NOT need to listen to people telling you to do things differently. You know your baby much better than they do and at the end of the day, what actual difference does it make to them how you're dealing with things anyway ?

mylittleimps · 12/06/2007 17:05

i waited to 6 months (BF) both babies sleept well through the night and weight was starting to plateau but HV was hassling me at 4months. HV AT 4MONTHS . i ignored her, stoped seeing her and sent her a newspaper article about BF exclusively until 6months (which is government guidelines - enough to out anyone off waiting to 6 months i know).

problems occur later than waiting to 6 months. not sure exactly when but after 6 months for sure.

Notquitegrownup · 12/06/2007 17:12

I fiddled around with bits of food for my bf babies from 5 months on, under family pressure, and got nowhere. All that puree stuff was such a fiddle and they only played with it. At ten months, both of them started tucking into bread and we were off. Go with your gut instinct. Breastmilk is the best thing that you could be giving them. Both of mine were early talkers too. Nothing wrong in waiting a while.

andiem · 12/06/2007 17:14

the guidelines were changed as there is evidence to show that weaning before 6 months can cause gut problems in later life (such as increase in Crohn's disease). If you had an enormous 5 month old who was feeding hourly night and day the advice would be to introduce solids very very slowly but as you have a very contented baby who is feeding well and still gaining weight I would hold off.
The guidelines are just that a guideline they are not gospel but they are there for a reason things change and our knowledge increases over time.

Original poster
sweetjane · 12/06/2007 17:23

Not heard of the Crohns Disease factor before but that's interesting.

I am going to have to make a list of all this and go armed with it round to my folks on Sunday!

I wonder if in a generation's time we will all be similarly reluctant to take new evidence on board? Can just see us all now "Well you were all weaned at 6 months and it never did you any harm"!!!

OP posts:
flibbertyjibbet · 12/06/2007 17:29

As far as I am aware, a baby's tum is very immature and for the first six months can't actually digest much more than milk. So giving solids early is giving him things that he doesn't have the stomach acids to digest.
SIL gave my niece jars of food from 4m and I have never met a child that puked as much. Her HV told her at 6m to get the baby back on baby rice and introduce solids again gradually. Of course the inlaws laughed at such a silly suggestion, but have since noticed that our 6m bf then very gradual solids babies have hardly ever thrown up, only when they are ill. So I like to think that my own family is the living proof that 6m weaning is best for your babies tum!

Jojay · 12/06/2007 17:29

My DS is 6 mths and 3 weeks. I waited 'til 6 mths to start on solids and he's taken to it with great gusto!!! Wolves down everything I offer him. No worries about resisting solids here

Original poster
sweetjane · 12/06/2007 20:21

flibbertyjibbet - should also have mentioned that ds is a v sicky baby and always has been. HV agreed with others on here that weaning early would not necessarily help to settle reflux down, but could aggravate it even more. Your SIL is just another good example of this ... more ammo for sweetjane!!

And am glad to hear from most of you that waiting to wean does not = fussy eaters or speech difficulties. It's hard though isn't it, cos I really respect my family's advice on everything usually. One close member of family has pretty much implied that I am still bf for my own needs rather than ds's, which I really resent.

OP posts:
Dawnybabe · 12/06/2007 20:35

Going with the health issues, it says in my nhs book that babies under six months generally don't have adequately formed kidneys yet either, and can't deal with too many extra food types.

My MIL keeps telling me my dd needs solids at 5 1/2 months, and has been saying that for a month or so. My dd will take rice occasionally but not all the time and so I assume that she's not quuite ready for it and will let me know when she is.

Then I ignore the MIL.