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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I feel a bit harassed

47 replies

MrsDylanBlue · 01/10/2018 15:24

I have had a stomach bug which several people at work have had.

I have spent most of the day sleeping.

I texted my boss at 7:30 this morning to let her know I am unwell and will not be there today. I was due in at 9. I felt sick, sleepy a d a bit out of it tbh.

For whatever reason my boss is saying that she did not receive my text and phoned me panicking about where I was.

I was asleep and did not receive the call.

I have apologised via text and explained I am unwell and was sleeping. She has then proceeded to send me several lengthy texts bollocking me for not phoning and asking the whereabouts of one of my direct reports who has been signed off for several weeks by a GP.

She has messaged me asking me to call her at 5:30 today.

I am ill (I have not had time off under this manager and my attendance record is always fine).

AIBU to think she should leave me alone to recover?

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 01/10/2018 15:25

You shouldn't text. It's inappropriate and a phone call is more professional. She is wrong to bother you about your direct report though.

Bluntness100 · 01/10/2018 15:26

Does you company sickness policy say you should phone or is text fine?

In addition I think it's reasonable if there is something she is trying to deal with in your absence for you to send a quick text. Just saying she's off sick, x is covering.

ElainaElephant · 01/10/2018 15:26

Any workplace that I have been have required people to phone in sick. A text to an individual member of staff, even if it is the boss, isn't viewed as appropriate (due to the fact that member of staff might not be in for whatever reason). The call has to be made to the place of work.

However, now that she is aware you are ill, you should be left alone and any issues should be raised once you are well.

PinkHeart5914 · 01/10/2018 15:27

Imo it’s not professional to text in sick. I own a business and as an employer I wouldn’t find that acceptable.

You should of called not texted
You have a stomach bug so should be able to mange a 5-10 minute call from the comfort of your bed

SpottingTheZebras · 01/10/2018 15:27

I am staggered that you are allowed to text to say you won’t be in and where I work, the police would have called to make a duty of care call when you failed to attend work or answer your phone.

However, once you established you were off sick you should be left alone. Although I suppose if you have the culture when texting is ok, maybe it is the norm in your company.

JellyBaby666 · 01/10/2018 15:29

My manager is happy with a text - clearly some places have different operating procedures.

You're off sick - I'd reply "I am unwell and in bed. I will not be able to speak to you later, I will inform you by text/email whether I am well enough to come in tomorrow.!

Feel better soon OP!

MrsDylanBlue · 01/10/2018 15:31

I have apologised for not phoning I accept I should have phoned.

Now she knows where I am I would like to be left in peace.

She knew about the other staff member as she was cc'd into the email.

OP posts:
SpottingTheZebras · 01/10/2018 15:32

I would call and explain you are not well enough to discuss anything at the moment but will do so as soon as you return to work.

Are you in the union? You might well fine you will be facing a disciplinary for not calling in when you do return.

MrsDylanBlue · 01/10/2018 15:34

The looming phone call with the inevitable bollocking is stressing me out Sad

OP posts:
SpottingTheZebras · 01/10/2018 15:36

Understandable so why don’t you ring now, say it is worrying you, but you are now well enough to discuss work matters today.

LavendarGreen · 01/10/2018 15:37

Prob should have phoned in.

Hope you feel well soon. Smile

LavendarGreen · 01/10/2018 15:37

Just do it now, and get it over with.

The call cannot be any worse than the feeling of impending doom! (((HUGS)))

HashTagLil · 01/10/2018 15:40

You're off sick - I'd reply "I am unwell and in bed. I will not be able to speak to you later, I will inform you by text/email whether I am well enough to come in tomorrow.!

Remember to leave 48 hours clear of your last episode/symptom before you return to work.

DGRossetti · 01/10/2018 15:41

You shouldn't text. It's inappropriate and

not guaranteed to get through ...

Celebelly · 01/10/2018 15:42

I think the text was ill-advised but she is BU by continuing to contact you once she knows you are unwell. She should wait until you are back at work to speak to you about it and not be contacting you about work matters throughout the day.

Nightwatch999 · 01/10/2018 15:45

Well at least if you text her you have the proof you informed her you were unwell.

Send her another back saying you will speak with her when you are feeling better as this constant questioning feels like your a child.

dogzdinner · 01/10/2018 15:58

sounds like she's in a major panic over this - what sort of job do you have? Are lives at risk by you not being there?

londonrach · 01/10/2018 16:03

You shouldnt have texted. Correct thing was to phone. In the case of dh once not being able to leave the bathroom i phoned on his behalf and when he had a break from being sick later in the morning he phoned to explain. However once she knew no way should she contact you again and the 5.30pm thing is shocking. Do you have a sickness policy.

DarlingNikita · 01/10/2018 16:06

I have apologised for not phoning I accept I should have phoned.

And she needs to accept that and then leave you alone. No way should she be asking you the whereabouts of one of your direct reports. She's clearly just done it to try to make a point.

Don't phone her later. Turn your phone off. I'd log this whole thing with HR as soon as you feel better, too.

Snowymountainsalways · 01/10/2018 16:07

Unless your job is super important/or life and death I am not sure why she would need to call you this evening? I would reply saying you are
too ill to talk and will call her in the morning when you are feeling better.

She is being unprofessional unless there is an urgent reason why she needs to contact you.

MrsDylanBlue · 01/10/2018 16:10

There is no reason for her to contact me other than to give me a lecture about the procedure. She hasn't even expressed any good wishes to me it's like I chose today on purpose (there was a team day which I have missed).

OP posts:
3luckystars · 01/10/2018 16:27

Answer the phone from the toilet. Apologise for not ringing but tell her you had a good reason for texting.

If it starts heating up, then just make squelshy fart sounds. Keep getting louder, if possible ask a second person to make noise by squashing their hands into their armpits.
Don't laugh.
Good luck.

HesaidIwasflighty · 01/10/2018 16:29

IMO this sounds like harassment, OP. OK, so you should have phoned rather than texted, but once your boss knew you were out sick she should have left you alone. And if your working day ends at or before 5.30pm she is being unreasonable in asking you to phone her then! If you do phone her, make sure your copy of the email where she was notified about your colleague being off sick is open so you can give her the time and date she received it.

FWIW, I'm a manager and I'm happy to take text messages from my staff if they're out sick. However, I am glued to my phone most of the time, so it's not as much of an issue. Grin

Hope you're better soon, OP! Flowers

Bubblysqueak · 01/10/2018 16:36

Surely the phone call later is to find out if you will be in tomorrow?

Everywhere I have worked have always needed a phone call first thing to tell them that you're not going to be in (has to be a phone call as emails and texts are sometimes missed) followed by a phone call between 3&4 to let them know of you will be in the next day (unless signed off ).

Nothisispatrick · 01/10/2018 16:41

I’ve worked in places were it’s fine to text or email in sick. Really depends on the place. If you’re up sick all night it’s hard to stay awake for 8.30/9am to call in.

It’s inappropriate for her to be messaging all day and asking for stuff.

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