iMessage didn't deliver... she wants me to pay her.

[LiveLiveAnna]

Cleaner text me via iMessage asking if she can change her days. I responded through text saying 'no problem see you on ...' - my message didn't deliver to her as she hasn't connected to WiFi over the weekend and has her iMessage enabled. I text her again to confirm and had no response. I had no idea it hadn't delivered to her. She's now turned up on the original day (I haven't been at home to let her in as she has no keys yet) and she's claiming that I need to pay her the £30 for cleaning as I didn't ensure the messages had delivered.

My argument was that if you have your phone set up to receive iMessage, and you send ME an iMessage, you should then ensure that you are connected to WiFi in order to receive my response. If you have iMessage turned on and aren't connected to the WiFi, it's your fault you didn't receive the message...

Who is BU? Me for thinking it's a mix up and I shouldn't have to pay her £30 for cleaning that didn't happen? Or her, for expecting me to pay her £30 when she hasn't done the work because her phone couldn't receive my message?

I sound really annoyed but I haven't actually responded to her voicemail yet so trying to get some honest perspective from AIBU!

Thanks.

Her fault because her original communication was by iMessage, so that is where she should have looked for your reply. Why wouldn't she and why wouldn't she check before going to you because she knew that she'd asked to change the day.
Do you still want her as your cleaner? I wouldn't. I think she's trying it on. (Ex cleaner btw).

Actually, reading that you also texted her and she ignored that too I think this is a deliberate attempt to part you from your money. Don't pay and cancel her services.

@Rhondacross she's a good cleaner and a really nice woman, just disappointed she's trying to demand £30 off me and left me a fairly shitty voicemail which is out of character for her. My point is that shit happens and it was a mix up. Not a big deal but I can't pay her £30 for work that hasn't been done. If I messaged her on a platform she didn't use and had never communicated with me on before (say whatsapp for example) then didnt receive my message then I might see her point, be she messaged me first, by iMessage...

It's her problem. Even if she hadn't received a message, given that she wouldn't have known whether the day swap was ok or not, the onus was on her to chase for confirmation, either with a further message or a quick call. She shouldn't have assumed.

@Rhondacross looking at it I can see it genuinely didn't deliver to her, but I don't routinely check to see all my messages have been delivered, especially if they used iMessage to contact me first.

Definitely her fault. She should have been able to receive your response via iMessage, especially as her original message to you was in iMessage.

I'd be really miffed at the tone of the voicemail too. After all, it was her askingnfor a favour to change days and her lack of WiFi and chasing that caused all this. You think she'd be apologetic more than anything.

She just moaned on the voicemail that she had been standing outside for 15 minutes and I am 'clearly not there to let her in' but will still need to be paid as she didn't have a response from me so was 'right to presume' she had the correct day... I think I'm going to have to let her go...

iMessage is a bugger for this if you have a fairly limited data plan, but it’s her fault.

@SaucyJack sure, but if you turn it off, other iPhones recognise this and send via text automatically. So easily avoidable...

I agree that you should expect to receive an answer by the means you send the message, and she should have checked iMessage.

Yup, hate to shaft the cleaner but I honestly think she's got to live with this one. I'd never dream of iMessaging anyone and then not connecting to WiFi and looking at iMessage if I hadn't had a response. If she's normally a nice woman, I'd guess that she's seeing it in a really blinkered way from her POV and for whatever reason just hasn't calmed down enough to see it from yours.

Definitely her fault.

She began the message trail by messaging you on that platform in the first instance. Anyone would assume the person would reply in the same way and ensure their phone was set up accordingly.

If she is getting upset over £30 I would imagine that the money means a lot to her. Whilst you are technically in the right is £30 worth the risk of losing a good cleaner to you?

@3WildOnes having a cleaner is the only luxury I have. We scrimp and save and both work 50+ hours a week. We have a baby on the way and really need our cleaner, but also really can't afford to part with money without anything in return. We just can't justify it.

YANBU.

What you do about it, however, depends on how much you value her as your cleaner/ how much of an appetite you have for finding a new one?

I might be tempted to say-

Dear cleaner- you made the request to change the day, not me. Having made that request and not received a response from me, the onus was then on you to check that your I-message/ texts were operating correctly, or to contact me again to firm up arrangements in the absence of a response either way. I am in no way responsible for your failure to do that. However, I hate to think of you as being out of pocket and am willing to pay [£half the amount?] to cover your inconvenience. I am in no way obliged to do this, but I am doing it because I value you and the work you do for me. In future any changes to dates or times should be agreed verbally between us by telephone to avoid any future confusion.

It also sounds like she has run out of credit and doesn’t have internet at home so obviously struggling with money already

It's her fault.

And the way she's responding would put me off using her.

Oh totally, LiveAnna. I only switch mine on if we’re playing 2-player games at home- then it goes off. I’ve had a few occasions now where DP hasn’t picked up messages because he’s not connected to t’internet.

It’s a lesson learned for her- but completely agree the responsibility lies at her end.

YANBU. She should have checked her messages.

You will have to let her go. If you do not pay the £30 she will resent you and I wouldn't be able to trust her.

Her fault. She should’ve checked you’d got the message if she hadn’t had a reply.

I would wait and talk to her. from her point of view she’s asked you ifshe can change days cos it would be easier for her, you’ve ignored her and she’s had to cancel and now you’re not there. I’d say she’s frustrated. She might not have realised the difference between iMessage and text- I know I barely do and have had this problem with a friend before.

If the rude vm is out of character and she’s good I’d give her an opportunity to apologise- especially if she still hasn’t seen that you tried twice to respond

I agree @3WildOnes, her tone may be coming from stress and anxiety over the money loss. If you rate her cleaning then I'd offer her half and both of you chalk it up to experience and move on. I wouldn't overthink this as this time next year you won't even remember this happened with your lovely bundle on the way.

It was her mistake, she couldn’t be bothered to check her messages. I wouldn’t be paying

The thing is it doesn't matter whether she realised the difference.

If she hadn't she should have called OP and asked "did you receive my message" when she had no reply.

She obviously had the credit as she had the capacity to sent an unpleasant voicemail to the OP.