To be upset about this.

[LisaDav]

This is confusing, so I'll try to explain the best I can.

I've been with my DP for 5 years and we're in a great place in our relationship. The ex boyfriend I had before my DP, we broke up 4 months before me and my DP got together.

Ive just been told my ex is now dating my brothers ex girlfriend and they've been together for almost a year!! My brother and his ex share a daughter together. My brother doesn't seem too bothered by it, but I'm absolutely fuming!!

Whilst we were together, My brother and his ex were also together at the same time. I used to bring him to my nieces birthday parties, so they both met before.

My ex lost his dad and I had to give him CPR before he died, he has always been thankful that I tried to save his dad, and I thought after what I had done, he would of had a bit of respect not to cop off with someone so close to me.

We broke up because he wouldn't get a job, and I paid for everything. All the time me and my current DP have been together, my ex has always tried to get back in contact and I've always shut it down.

I'm absolutely fuming with the fact he's now dating my nieces mother!! I have no feelings there, but I just feel this is too close to home. Where is the respect and loyalty?

AIBU to feel this way?

[HarrySnotter]

I'm sorry, but I don't think this has anything to do with you. It's not your business.

[Aquamarine1029]

You are being totally unreasonable and utterly ridiculous. You broke up with him more than FIVE years ago. What difference does it make who he dates? His choice of partner has nothing to do with you.

[harrietthehare]

Oh dear - it shouldn't really be your problem though should it?

[Sirzy]

So it’s over 5 years since you split? Massive over reaction!

[FuckyDuzz]

Yeah none of your business
Do you still have feelings for him?

[Mulberry72]

YABVU!

It’s none of your business, you split up 5 years ago!

Do you still have feelings for him?

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

YABU. It was a long time ago. It’s not your sister.

[AriadnePersephoneCloud]

It does sound like you still have feelings for him. I don't think I'd be bothered. In fact some of my exes are very nice and I'd be happy to see them occasionally (although the only occasion I think you might meet when your nice gets married 🙄). Honestly it doesn't affect you (u less you do have feelings) and you need to let it go.

[MediocrePenguin]

YABU to be so extreme. The more appropriate reaction would be privately mildly irritated.

[Knittedfairies]

Absolutely none of your business, so ridiculous to be ‘fuming’ about this relationship. Just why does it bother you so much?

[RebelRogue]

You didn't even know they've been together for nearly a year,so obviously their relationship can't impact you too much.

[HildaZelda]

But your broke up with him over FIVE years ago. Presumably your brother and his ex have been split up for a while too? I'm sorry but I don't see the problem?

[user1493413286]

I think you’re over reacting; I don’t see how it effects your life and it’s not like they got together as soon as you broke up so there wouldn’t have been any feelings when you were all together

[Yourenotericlove]

It's your brothers ex. I'm not sure what you're getting so frothy about.

[chipsandgin]

None of your business frankly - can't see why you would be 'fuming' at all unless you think you have some kind of claim on him/still have feelings (which is what I would assume, so probably best to keep this to yourself in real life!).

[UnicornSparkles1]

It'll be a bit weird at family gatherings (assuming you still see your brother's ex?) otherwise does it really matter? Be glad that they're happy.

[twattymctwatterson]

You are being utterly ridiculous. Someone you've not been in a relationship with for 5 years doesn't owe you "loyalty"

[OrdinarySnowflake]

Unless you think he's deliberately targeted her to try to worm his way back into your family and therefore your life (and you only hearing about it a year later makes that unlikely), then it really isn't any of your business.

[ButAIBUtho]

Absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your brother is unbothered because he's clearly a lot more grounded than you are right now.

[JKCR2017]

Five years is a long time. Surely it wouldn’t matter now?

These things happen all the time. My friend started a relationship with her sisters ex which seemed really bad at the time but they’ve been together 10 years now and her sister never had an issue with it!

[Shinesweetfreedom]

I'm more wondering why he wouldn't get a job.
Well he has found someone else to live off then.

[YeTalkShiteHen]

I don’t see why you’re bothered tbh.

However, using the fact you gave his Dad CPR (commendable as it is) to make him feel like he owes you somehow is just about the scummiest thing I’ve read on here. That’s a low fucking blow and no mistake.

[AuntBeastie]

I don’t think this should really be an issue. You broke up a very long time ago, you have a very happy relationship, and he isn’t that close to home - your neice’s mother is quite a distant relationship from you.

I don’t think the CPR is relevant - presumably you did that because it was the right thing to do, not so he would be beholden to you.

[Notacluewhatthisis]

Wow you are totally unreasonable.

Your ex isn't dating someone you are close to. They have been together a year and you didn't know. So, clearly, you aren't close.

You have been broken up 4 years when they got together. It's got nothing to do with you. Doesn't matter whose mother she is. Or the fact that they met when you were together.

You say you want respect and loyalty. From who? Who is disrespecting you? And who owe you loyalty.

I would say there has to be feelings there. This wouldn't bother you, if there wasn't.

[Notacluewhatthisis]

Oh and thinking he owes you for trying to save his dad, makes you shitty.

Surely that's what anyone would do?