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To be upset about this.

45 replies

LisaDav · 30/09/2018 16:16

This is confusing, so I'll try to explain the best I can.

I've been with my DP for 5 years and we're in a great place in our relationship. The ex boyfriend I had before my DP, we broke up 4 months before me and my DP got together.

Ive just been told my ex is now dating my brothers ex girlfriend and they've been together for almost a year!! My brother and his ex share a daughter together. My brother doesn't seem too bothered by it, but I'm absolutely fuming!!

Whilst we were together, My brother and his ex were also together at the same time. I used to bring him to my nieces birthday parties, so they both met before.

My ex lost his dad and I had to give him CPR before he died, he has always been thankful that I tried to save his dad, and I thought after what I had done, he would of had a bit of respect not to cop off with someone so close to me.

We broke up because he wouldn't get a job, and I paid for everything. All the time me and my current DP have been together, my ex has always tried to get back in contact and I've always shut it down.

I'm absolutely fuming with the fact he's now dating my nieces mother!! I have no feelings there, but I just feel this is too close to home. Where is the respect and loyalty?

AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:

MrsStrowman · 30/09/2018 18:26

They got together four years after you split, it's not like they had an affair. You are being massively unreasonable, you either still have feelings for him or you just liked the thought that he was pining after you, except he's not, or maybe he's changed his ways for her in a way he never did for you and that stings, either way you sound unreasonably bitter.


ButchyRestingFace · 30/09/2018 18:30

Another vote for not having the foggiest why you're so affected. Confused


Monday55 · 30/09/2018 18:47

The way you've reacted reflects more on your feelings for him than you think.


TomHardyswife · 30/09/2018 18:49

You say you want respect and loyalty. From who? Who is disrespecting you?



Bluelady · 30/09/2018 18:50

I'm completely mystified by this, glad I'm not the only one.


MiddleClassProblem · 30/09/2018 18:58

At best it’s a bit weird and might be a bit awkward if you all see each other at first but you’re all adults, happy with other people... what’s the people.

And your comment giving his dad cpr... wow. It’s not a debt he owes you. You did a wonderful thing and you’re using it in such an awful way.


PositiveVibez · 30/09/2018 19:06

Wow. You sound way ott. It is absolutely none of your business.

He's been with her for a year and you didn't even know.

Why has it got up your nose so much?


SmallState · 30/09/2018 19:08

You sound like typical Jeremy Kyle fodder op. You need something to occupy your mind.


Notacluewhatthisis · 30/09/2018 19:11

So I know it's not the done thing. But I advanced serached op. This post seemed a bit like a hit and run, wanting people to call her bat shit.

OP has a habit of posting half truths. Is it 7


Notacluewhatthisis · 30/09/2018 19:12

Shit posted to early.

Is it 7 or 5 years op? Or is he you dh or your dp?

Or is this not accurate and you are watching for people having a go?


Applepudding2018 · 30/09/2018 19:17

Yeah sorry- one of the most unreasonable AIBU's I've seen


KarmaStar · 30/09/2018 19:28

Sorry,this does not ring true.
Just a goading post.
Ignore and move on,don't give her the pleasure of your thoughts.


MrsReacher1 · 30/09/2018 19:54

Actually I would be really upset by this!

Do people really not realise how uncomfortable it is to have your ex, whom ideally you'd prefer not to see at all again, becoming a member of your extended family?? I really doubt you'd all be so chilled to have to see your ex at family gatherings, celebrate the birth of their baby because she/he will be your niece's half sister.

I sensed that OP felt a bit pursued by the ex who wouldn't leave her as alone as she would have liked.

So no OP there is nothing you can do but I get that you feel upset.


RebelRogue · 30/09/2018 20:00

@MrsReacher1 they've been together nearly a year and she didn't even know about it,much less see him. They're obviously not that close extended family,or the gatherings are few and far between. Tbh I doubt she'll have to see him unless it's a big event for the niece,hosted by the mum,as it normally happens with extended families of separated couples.


Notacluewhatthisis · 30/09/2018 20:01

MrsReacher1 really? It's not her extended family. It's her nieces mum. Who she doesn't have anything to do with or she would have known she was seeing her ex.

The only celebration they will all be at will be things for niece. Which the op can choose to not go to, if she can't really get past the fact that her ex of 5 years is seeing someone she barely knows. And it says a lot if she can't get past it and just not and smile for the sake of her niece.

Who hee ex sil and ex dp go out with is non of her business.


QuimNiceButDim · 30/09/2018 20:01

Very childish reaction.

Not your business.


Sparklesocks · 30/09/2018 20:12

You have absolutely no say in who he chooses to be in a relationship with. Any involvement in his life ended when you split up.
They’re both adults and can do what they like.


number1wang · 30/09/2018 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Biancadelriosback · 30/09/2018 20:15

What on earth had CPR and the death of his DF have to do with him dating your DN's mum??


MeggyD · 01/10/2018 08:09

YABU. But I think everyone's already told you that.

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