DD wants to remove leg hair
TellerTuesday4EVA · 30/09/2018 10:51
I could really use some advice / experiences on this please.
A big part of me knows this is ridiculous but there's another part that wants DD to make her own choices.
Dd has just turned 6. She has and always has had very hairy legs & a hairy lower back. I presumed it was baby down & would go away in time but it hasn't & it's gone darker as she's gotten older. I'll attach some pics below. I have PCOS (personally never suffered with the hair problem) so I'm pretty sure it's linked to hormones.
In the summer she became aware of it & that the other girls at school didn't have the same. She asked me if there was a way to get rid of the hair, we talked about it & everyone's bodies being different & that coupled with the sun lightening the hair pacified her for a while.
Since she's gone back to school she's mentioned it again quite a few times. I have to point out here that nobody else has mentioned it, classmates etc, it's DD herself that has the issue she isn't being picked on or anything because of it. Now the weathers getting colder she's into tights & trousers for uniform so that's pacified her again.
However.... she's now getting upset about swimming & not wanting to go because she says when her legs get wet it looks worse. The hairs quite long so when it gets wet & lays flat she is right in what she's saying.
There's no way I would use hair removal cream on her skin & certainly wouldn't let her attempt anything herself but part of me thinks if she's adamant she wants it removing I should help her to do so.
AIBU? No bitchy comments please, I do realise she's very young but just want to do my best to help her.
allyouneedis · 30/09/2018 10:57
She is very young but It is obviously bothering her, I was the hairy kid at school so know how she feels. What about trying a sensitive hair removing cream? My daughter has been using it for years and she is 15 now. She doesn’t get the itchy legs that come from shaving and the hair grows back softer than shaving too.
lunar1 · 30/09/2018 10:58
For whatever reason your DD is self conscious about this. It must be so hard when she is so young but I would be tempted to let her and help her remove it. Probably with an electric razor.
It is her body and we aren't talking about permanent changes to her body. I was always self conscious of my body hair as a child and my mums refusal to let me get rid of it had me missing lunches at school so I could pay for a razor!
I'm interested to see what everyone else thinks though as I could be way off the mark.
allyouneedis · 30/09/2018 10:58
Sorry just re read your post and see you don’t want to use hair removing cream so ignore me 😊
Thistles24 · 30/09/2018 11:03
Do you still get these mittens/pads that buff the hair away? Can’t remember the name, sorry but they were sold in boots&superdrug and popular with the very young.
greensnail · 30/09/2018 11:03
I wonder if it would be worth a trip to the doctors to see if there is anything that can be done. I had similar as a young child, very hairy legs from age 5 ish and I went through puberty early from the age of 8. I was never taken to the doctor about this but it was not easy for me to cope with at that age.
One of my daughters is similarly hairy but it didnt bother her until quite recently, she is now 9 and we have recently started doing some hair removal but i dont think i would have been so happy to do it at age 6 without ruling out other problems. Luckily for my girls they do not seem to be heading for early puberty like I did.
blitzen · 30/09/2018 11:08
Aww I have sympathy for her. I was and still am a hairy one. I had leg hair like that as a child. I think I managed to get by until about aged 9 until other kids started laughing at me at school. I think at that point I started shaving 'Just to the knee' but that made my hairy thighs even more obvious. I was shaving my whole legs in primary school. My mother used to help me shave my armpits and trim lady garden. Not sure what the answer is, I just wanted to give my support in whatever you decide as being hairy is a lifetime ballache in my experience. IPL might be a good option for her in the future. Worked a treat on my tummy hair.
Pringlecat · 30/09/2018 11:08
Another vote for take her to the doctors. Most girls her age don't have hairy legs and you have PCOS, so worth checking out if there's anything going on medically that you need to keep an eye on.
Generally though, I would help her remove the hair. It's really embarrassing being the first hairy girl, and just because her peers haven't noticed yet, doesn't mean they won't. She's not comfortable with the hair on her legs, and given most women choose to remove theirs, she's not expressing a controversial opinion that is likely to change when she gets older.
If when she's a teen she decides to hell with it, she'd rather be hairy all over, the hair will grow back. It's not an irreversible decision or something she'll grow out of.
ViserionTheDragon · 30/09/2018 11:08
Did you post about DD's leg hair before OP? I remember there was a post about a young DD's leg hair before, not sure if it was you or not.
Anyway, I feel for your DD, and I honestly don't blame her for feeling the way she does. I think if you don't want to shave or use hair removal cream, maybe try at home wax strips.
Tekken · 30/09/2018 11:09
Mine was the same at that age. We talked through her reasons. I remember my own friend being teased at primary school for the same reasons and the impact that had on her self esteem up until end of secondary.
In the end, I got my dd some sensitive hair removal cream and that did the job. We did it maybe 2 or 3 times over a year - whenever she asked. She now a pre teen and wears skirts all the time to school. She hasn't asked about removing her hair again since she was 9. Nobody seems to have mentioned it to her recently.
In summary, I'd let her do it if it was bothering her so much. But talk to her first about her own reasons for it. It should be to change her own feeling about her self, not to appease other people. I hardly ever shave my own legs and DD sees how comfortable I am with this which is probably why she has begun to care less.
didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 30/09/2018 11:17
I'd let her remove it. It's horrible feeling self conscious about something and not being able to change it.
TellerTuesday4EVA · 30/09/2018 11:21
@allyouneedis have you had any problems with the sensitive cream? The only reason I said I wouldn't use it was because I used it myself once & honestly the burn was unreal, maybe mine wasn't a sensitive one though? I'm just wary of putting anything on her skin think if I do it I would prefer to shave or rub it off.
@ViserionTheDragon no my first post, well on this subject anyway
Thanks for the mitt suggestions, I didn't even know they made those & sound ideal will do a google search for one
FaithInfinity · 30/09/2018 11:27
Boots do a mitt for a couple of quid here. It works well on regrowth so I think would be okay on previously unshaved hair.
I was a very hairy child (well still am quite) and I desperately wanted how shaven but my Mum wouldn’t let me. I did it myself when I was 13 and away without my parents with a cheap Bic razor! I think helping her is better than refusing and then her doing it herself. When she’s a bit older she could try using a battery powered lady shaver? She would get stubbly regrowth though.
DeathByMascara · 30/09/2018 11:36
I was the hairy kid & was forbidden from using any kind of hair removal. It did have a big impact on my self esteem and I’ve sworn that as soon as DD wants to remove hers, we’ll find a way.
I’ve used sensitive hair removal cream on my bikini line in the past, there is a big difference between it and the non-sensitive type in terms of how it feels when it’s on, and reaction afterwards.
MrsMarigold · 30/09/2018 11:49
I would not use any cream, I'm horrendously allergic to it. I'm very hairy but blonde. I started waxing quite early (my mum knew a beauty therapist well) hot wax it definitely helped, one friend did it and her hair never grew back better than all these harsh chemicals are shaving.
trulybadlydeeply · 30/09/2018 11:51
My DD, then 10 was deeply self conscious about her arm and leg hair, and like your daughter, it was particularly evident when swimming. I took her to have it waxed off. As she was older she was able to understand the process and that it was going to hurt a bit, although she does have a very high pain threshold. I'm not suggesting you take a 6 year old for waxing, but I wanted to point out that the hair never grew back as dark or as much, so you may well find that if you remove it once, the regrowth is much less obvious. Some children are hairy babies (my DD certainly was, she had a hairy back also) and have a tendency to hang on to the hairiness through childhood!
SocksRock · 30/09/2018 11:51
I was hairy as a child and it was horrendous, I got badly bullied for it. I’ve told both my girls that if they want to remove hair I will help them. Eldest is 10 and has never asked, but I would find a waxing salon for her if she asked. Hopefully that would help with the regrowth being lighter
MollysMummy2010 · 30/09/2018 11:52
I had a thread on here about my DD, 8. I bought her a Ladyshave and she gets on fine with it. Uses it once a week or so. She was getting funny about swimming and gymnastics and is much happier with it removed.
Helpimfalling · 30/09/2018 11:54
My mum started letting me do mine I was so hairy around nine with something called a silky mitt not sure if they still exist
I maybe worst parent of the year but I'd let my daughter do hers with that at that age if she was bothered (at your daughter age)
My sons are very hairy and I've let them shave from when they first asked to do there tashes and that was about eight nine
Mummyoflittledragon · 30/09/2018 11:58
I would also let her do it. Dds friend came over in the holidays, she has just gone into yr6. I know that’s a lot older than your dd and I noticed had shaved her legs all the way up - she was wearing shorts. Idk how long she has been doing this. But I had never noticed her leg hair before so I assume it to have been a fair while and this was just a bit of regrowth.
Idk if hairier legs are a sign of precocious puberty. My dds legs (10) have been hairy for at least 2/3 years now.
Ideally you would wax your dds legs if they’re that hairy - they don’t look it from the photo. But at 6 she’s so little.
UhOh4321 · 30/09/2018 12:03
If she is upset about it please do something about it. I was the same at that age (no PCOS or early puberty- just bad luck) but my mum would not let me do anything about it. When I got a little older, other children started to notice so I spent Summers at school wearing tights under my summer dress! Finally got an electric razor which was very gentle on my skin. I just wish I didn't't have all the years of misery before.
Cornettoninja · 30/09/2018 12:12
I think you’re a great mum supporting her with this
Waxing/epilating would be great for the hairiness itself but she’s very young for that considering the pain factor.
An electric razor might be worth investigating although the maintenance is a consideration but much easier if mainly for swimming during the winter and cream would be longer lasting.
It’s pros and cons with all the options. Does your dd have a preference?
I’ve no idea if it exsists but a very gentle bleach may be worth considering. I bleach my arm hair after removing it for years but disliking the regrowth. The actual abundance of hair doesn’t bother me as much as the darkness of it but bleaching can be quite harsh and uncomfortable.
allyouneedis · 30/09/2018 12:13
My Daughter has never had any problems with it, maybe try leaving it for different lengths of time. Your DD might not need the full 3 minutes. Also the mit things sound like a good alternative.
Fluffyears · 30/09/2018 12:17
Be careful of the silkymits. I used to use them with no issues but the last couple of times I have had an awful reaction. I follow the instructions to the letter as well. My skin must have changed. Maybe do a patch test.
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