DD wants to remove leg hair
TellerTuesday4EVA · 30/09/2018 10:51
I could really use some advice / experiences on this please.
A big part of me knows this is ridiculous but there's another part that wants DD to make her own choices.
Dd has just turned 6. She has and always has had very hairy legs & a hairy lower back. I presumed it was baby down & would go away in time but it hasn't & it's gone darker as she's gotten older. I'll attach some pics below. I have PCOS (personally never suffered with the hair problem) so I'm pretty sure it's linked to hormones.
In the summer she became aware of it & that the other girls at school didn't have the same. She asked me if there was a way to get rid of the hair, we talked about it & everyone's bodies being different & that coupled with the sun lightening the hair pacified her for a while.
Since she's gone back to school she's mentioned it again quite a few times. I have to point out here that nobody else has mentioned it, classmates etc, it's DD herself that has the issue she isn't being picked on or anything because of it. Now the weathers getting colder she's into tights & trousers for uniform so that's pacified her again.
However.... she's now getting upset about swimming & not wanting to go because she says when her legs get wet it looks worse. The hairs quite long so when it gets wet & lays flat she is right in what she's saying.
There's no way I would use hair removal cream on her skin & certainly wouldn't let her attempt anything herself but part of me thinks if she's adamant she wants it removing I should help her to do so.
AIBU? No bitchy comments please, I do realise she's very young but just want to do my best to help her.
Chickenwings85 · 02/10/2018 22:46
I had this with my 8 year old a few weeks ago. She said she tried to hide her bare legs as she doesn't feel pretty or happy about how hairy they are. To be fair they are on the hair side and dark, so I bought her a lady shaver and done her legs for her but showed her how to do too. Shes allowed to shave them whenever she starts feeling conscious of them again and under my supervision. I bought her a lady shaver because I don't like the idea of her using a razor so young, since shes had them shaved shes alot more happier and confident about her bare legs. If she's happy and confident about her self and body then I'm happy.
Bobobob · 02/10/2018 22:40
I would help her remove the hair. It's important that girls learn that they own their own bodies.
DemocracyDiesInDarkness · 02/10/2018 20:29
I did DDs at 6 because she was getting a lot of teasing in gym.
We used Veet which was fine until recently, when her skin went a bit red, so I shave them for her now.
Takes two minutes, she's happy, that's all that matters to me.
I have told her until I'm blue in the face that nobody who loves her expects her to change, but if she wants to do it, then I'll help her. I couldn't care less what age it starts, if it helps them feel more confident; I've never felt compelled to use her as some sort of feminist test case. After all, she sees me doing mine!
lunar1 · 02/10/2018 20:17
Wow it's disconcerting to see yourself quoted in the daily mail!
Bturk · 02/10/2018 18:16
I saw your post when this went viral and felt compelled to respond. I was the hairy child with plenty of “shin fur” as Tina Fey calls it (way worse than the pictures of your DD) and I totally feel for your DD. I have many stories going back to at least 2nd grade when I remember a girl on the playground running by and shouting “shave your legs!” I wasn’t allowed to shave until I was 10 and on swim team and it was getting ridiculous, but I wish my mom would have let me shave much earlier. I support others thoughts about conferring with your MD to rule out precocious puberty/PCOS etc. but regardless, if you think she can handle shaving, then show her how to safely do it and buy her a “good” razor that will reduce nicks and bumps/cuts, etc. Obviously at this age you’ll need to help her for a while or at least closely supervise her but kids have enough to deal with these days and I think shaving (or another safe hair removal process) is an easy and pretty pain free solution to this issue. And a side note, she’ll prob need to shave her whole leg, not just to the knee. My mom was adamant about this until she saw how ridiculous I looked, like I was wearing Capri pants made of fur. Best of luck!
Sharon1983 · 01/10/2018 17:03
I would take her to have them waxed or get wax strips yourself and do them for her. My cousin waxed hers from a young age as she was very hairy from age 7/8 and now her hair body hair is non existent (she is 28).
My sister has taken the same approach with her 6 year old daughter who was intrigued after she accompanied my sister to the beauticians and is also a hairy 6 yr old legs arms and lower back. Its also a great time for them to have quality time together
JellieEllie · 01/10/2018 16:42
Here's the screenshot of the page it's on.
JellieEllie · 01/10/2018 16:40
It's also in the Mirror as of 2.30pm. I can't link it as I'm on the app not the website!
Candlelights2345 · 01/10/2018 13:04
Candlelights2345 · 01/10/2018 13:02
Yes it is 😢 sorry I don’t know how to link it, if you’re not comfortable with this report your own thread and see if MN will delete.
The top comments are supportive btw!
Branleuse · 01/10/2018 13:00
god what a strange topic for a newspaper article
TellerTuesday4EVA · 01/10/2018 12:58
@Candlelights2345 really?? Don't they have to ask my permission? Probably not then I guess??
Candlelights2345 · 01/10/2018 12:42
This thread has appeared in the DM now 😡😡😡😡
MrsFoxPlus4 · 01/10/2018 04:35
Abrasion pads are perfect here. Little mitts with sandpaper type things in them and it buffs away the hait
stellabird · 01/10/2018 04:27
My DD was a hairy child - at 8 I taught her to shave her legs because she was so self-conscious. At about 10 she started bleaching her arms for the same reason. I see nothing wrong with helping a girl to be confident about her appearance - it never did DD any harm to remove / bleach her body hair. I don't thing age matters at all.
annoyed1212 · 01/10/2018 03:07
I remember reading of a topical remedy that traditional Indian women use on their children to remove unwanted body hair, it can be used from a very young age as its natural ingredients like oatmeal and turmeric. I have been searching and searching for it online but can no longer find it
annoyed1212 · 01/10/2018 03:02
I had a horrible time in school because of hairy arms and legs. I became more aware of it around year 4 and remember faking illness just so I could miss PE/swimming. It wasn't the boys as much as the girls who pointed out my problem and made me feel like a freak. I was told it's normal by the GP and received no help from anyone at home with regards to removing the hair. I developed anxiety in my teens, terrible acne in late teens and eventually diagnosed with PCOS in early 20s. Yep growing up was pretty shit tbh.
I have now had certain areas lasered and its probably the best way to remove hair but I can't afford to get larger areas (legs) done yet.
People say shaving doesn't make it thicker but mine seemed to get thicker as I got older. I now wax (when I can be bothered) or stay au naturale and live in trousers and pray I'm never involved in a hospital emergency
MadCatLadyofMaroc · 01/10/2018 01:29
Have a look at these:
Very gentle, compact and lightweight. Also one of the best shavers I've ever had.
HelenaDove · 01/10/2018 01:09
I had a miserable time in high school because of thick leg hair. DM wouldnt let me shave it because in Italy when she grew up it just wasnt done, i started getting it waxed off when i was 18 but stopped 3 years ago as i couldnt afford to get it done anymore.
i know how peer pressure feels but i also know that misogynistic bullying still goes on in schools over these issues and needs to be taken as seriously as racial bullying is.
HelenaDove · 01/10/2018 01:05
i used a Boots Smooth Care facial hair removing cream for sensitive skin last year Did a patch test on the Sunday and it was fine. Did proper treatment on the Monday and followed instructions but ended up with a chemical burn on my chin.
Be careful with creams.
Enjoli · 01/10/2018 00:58
Then don't remove it, just trim and bleach it.
Buy a hair trimmer - choose the attachment that will cut the hair to about 5 mm. Then use Jolen or own-brand bleach to gently remove the colour. She'll be left with soft, vellus-looking hair like most of the other girls will have.
Then when she's old enough that she might start shaving anyway, you can consider laser.
I was quite hairy, it's awful at her age.
PurpleArmy · 01/10/2018 00:55
Some great support here, I would go with the 'its grooming' angle, after all we cut our hair and men shave their faces, its a personal choice.
unicorncow · 01/10/2018 00:46
Please be careful if you use the mitt! I thought it was the answer to my prayers when I was a teen and didn't realise that if you press even a bit too hard you end up taking skin off too!
TantricTwist · 30/09/2018 22:55
She'll be shaving her legs soon enough so if she wants to do it now I don't see any issue with her doing so at all regardless of her age.
My DD is 11 and has very fine and fair hairy legs, she is aware of it and I'm just waiting for her to insist on shaving. So far she has listened to my advice to leave it for as long as she can because once you start shaving you can't stop.
3in4years · 30/09/2018 22:48
This is so sad. If a six year old boy said the same would so many encourage him to be hair free?
My dc2 is just as hairy, as am I. We don't care what other people say. She is genuinely stunning.
Surely if you start hair removal at 6 you will instill low self esteem about looks?
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