Student DC's room

[loverofcornwall]

How would you feel about someone in a position of trust visiting your adult DC's room at university?

If your DC is an adult they can make their own choices

Are you talking about an older man visiting your young daughter, where the man is a relative or a teacher or priest?

Surely as an adult the student can decide who visits them.

Come on, @MrsStrowman, this is the real world.

Need more info....

I have absolutely no idea, on that very limited information.

A lecturer trying it on? It happens a lot, but the outcome depends on how the student reacts. If they respond, thinking it will get them better grades (which the lecturer will tell them it will) it gets messy. Especially as said lecturer moves on the following academic year when there's a whole new set of innocents to prey on.

If the students makes it clear they're not interested, the lecturer will simply move on to someone else.

Depends whom and the purpose of the visit.

What Rebel says

Why are you being so deliberately vague?
If you have a real concern then say what it is, nowhere near enough info here to comment.

On the information given I say it's fine but there's going to be a huge drip feed isn't there?

depends completely on the context

I'm being vague for fear of being outed. They are both the same sex and no concerns about "trying it on". It's also not a lecturer, it's someone the student has confided in and built a bit of a relationship with, it's (afaik) just a friendly visit to see the student's room. I have some issues with boundaries and trust so I just wanted to see what the general consensus was.

Need more info please op!

You haven't said anything that is alarming. Presuming they're 18 or over and not a child prodigy going to uni at 11!

Without knowing the details then it's impossible to say.

Position of trust could be a post grad student involved in the student union as a welfare officer or a pastoral worker in student services who has spent 6 months supporting a vulnerable 18 year old through a mental health crisis.
The former would be reasonable, the second probably less so (or at the very least naive on the part of staff).

A counsellor?

Is your daughter gay? Is she vulnerable, generally?

I don't know why, but I'm assuming it's someone from her home area that's visiting. Is that right?

A welfare officer wouldn't visit a student in their room. There would be rules against that.

A friend from my church who was about 20 years older than me visited me in uni to see my room and take me out to lunch. Don't see the issue.

There are about a million students in the UK I'm not sure you're going to out yourself on an anonymous forum but actually explaining your post OP

no concerns about "trying it on". It's also not a lecturer, it's someone the student has confided in and built a bit of a relationship with, it's (afaik) just a friendly visit to see the student's room.

In that case I really don't see the issue.

It depends upon who and why. Lecturers unless employed as hall wardens should never have need to be at halls of residence so alarm bells would ring - most universities extend safeguarding guidelines to include all undergraduates having relationships with staff. Post grad students are a grey area as some teach yet they are only 2-3 years older typically. A counsellor, or personal tutor visiting is less concerning as long as the the reason for contact may be to do with the living arrangements. Talk to your daughter and let her know she can share things with you and you won't judge her, beyond that, she's an adult so you don't have to be told anything

Is their relationship a friendship only? Is the position of trust in relation to your DC ?

@HollowTalk is the real world one in which an adult isn't allowed to make their own choices??

The OP has a young student daughter who is being visited by someone she seems to think shouldn't be visiting her. The fact her daughter has had her 18th birthday doesn't mean that her mum won't talk to her about her life and advise her.