to think there is no way I will ever be able to lose the 10 stone I need to lose

[Cblockbitch]

feeling fucking depressed and blobby and pissed off today.

I will never have the willpower or the love for myself to make the change I desperately need to make. I am just going to get bigger and bigger and bigger and end up nearly immobile like my fat mum. fml

Have you thought about SlimmingWorld or something similar?

I’m sorry you’re feeling depressed . Do you want to lose weight right now? I mean, i’m sure if a magic wand was waved that would be great, but do you actually want to make changes right at this moment?

I do, I'm sick of being so unfit and I am really really starting to feel my weight in my body. Everything is difficult. Not impossible, but difficult.

I have done slimming world and I lost 3 stone. I lose interest and willpower and just pile it back on.

Would you be prepared to consider bariatric surgery?

one meal a day is very effective - that way you can still eat all your favourite foods.

Oh lovely - I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. I don’t know what to suggest. Just take it a little at a time. You can do it. Have you spoken to your gp sometimes they can support

Like most things you need to think long term and start with the first step. One pound at a time. Join an organised weight loss group (Slimming World, Weight Watchers etc) and dig in for the long haul. One small step at a time. You CAN do it. But only YOU can do it. You will get loads of support and meet other people in the same situation. There are no quick fixes but if you lose a pound a week thats 4 stone in a year. Very doable. Good Luck.

Not sure if finances permit, but have you thought about one of those personalised meal plans where you get a weekly delivery? I know I am inclined to make poor choices when low mood prevents me from properly cooking so I eat fast food for the convenience factor.

Have you found any form of exercise you enjoy? Swimming, walks (even 15/20 brisk mins per day is going to have a positive benefit on your health and mood). Start small if that helps you feel less overwhelmed.

Rather than thinking about the need to lose 10 stone, which will naturally overwhelm you, think about living healthily and looking after yourself day by day. One day at a time. And one day slip up does not require you to beat yourself up. The next day is another opportunity.

Take care

@scarlettpimpernell surely that defeats the object of long term weight management?

I need to stick to three regular sized reasonably healthy meals a day and move my fat ass more but i just cant find the willpower to maintain it.

Not at all - google it - it is a lifestyle not a 'diet'. I've kept excess weight off for over 5 years now by following this way of eating

@Cblockbitch I know the feeling, I've just given SW up as I was losing interest.

I don't have much advice, I try only eat one big meal a day during the week, fruit or veg for lunch and give my self a day off at the weekend.

Try tricking your mind by aiming to lose a more manageable amount; once you've started, you may feel more positive. If you do something like Slimming World or WW you'll get support from other people with the same dilemma. (I have the moral fibre of a jellyfish when going it alone, but WW keeps me going........) Don't stress on the 10 stone, set a manageable goal like "I'll aim for one week of healthy eating, and see how it goes".

Have a look at NoS. No snack, no sweets, no seconds except for days beginning with S. So you eat three meals a day and can have treats at the weekend. Less of a diet and more a way of learning moderation 'discuss' there's a very supportive forum too. Good luck.
nosdiet.com/

I think 10 stone is an enormous mountain. Perhaps start with a hill! Just try and do a couple of things that make you a little bit fitter and a little bit healthier.

I want to get fitter too. Here’s a challenge - go and walk up and down your stairs 5 times. That’s all. Do it now! Nothing else. Do it now. I will too. (And then I need to build a train track!) Right now. And then post you have done it. Go!

Exits stage left to walk up and down the stairs.

It's not willpower that you need, it's support and understanding. Overeaters Anonymous has helped me turn my life around. Have a look at the website, keep an open mind as it is a spiritual programme but absolutely NOT a religious one.
I have no particular faith or belief yet I haven't overeaten or eaten compulsively for a year, I've never been happier as I'm not lugging guilt and shame around with me.
I also happen to have lost about 3st, but more than anything I have peace of mind.

Well I managed to cut out a whole part of my sentence. Should say
There's loads of information on the website and if you click 'discuss' there's a very supportive forum too.
Sorry!

Start small so one thing at a time, I find if I try change everything at once I get nowhere. Tomorrow start a week of no junk food, the following week then look to address portion sizes and the week after start introducing exercise.
Small steps to get to your goal, trying to do it all at once is overwhelming hence why you give up and go back to your old ways!
I'm trying to loose 2 stone of baby weight at the moment and have found this time round that introducing exercise first is the way for me as my diet then falls into place. When I'm working out and hating it I keep that feeling in mind for the next time I want another biscuit etc
Best of luck, you can do it

Agree with humble: rather than thinking about 10 stone, break it up into smaller goals. Half a stone by Hallowe’en; or a stone by Christmas; then each time you reach your goal, reset the clock. And remember that small stuff counts: getting off the bus two stops early and walking might not use vast amounts of calories and leaving the last couple of mouthfuls on your plate might not seem like a lot saved, but over a year it all adds up to weight loss.

There really is only one way to lose weight: you have to want to be slim more than you want that next bag of crisps or second helping of dinner. Once you acknowledge that, you take ownership of your actions.

course you can - consume fewer calories than you expend, is all it comes down to. Many have done it - you can too just stick with it for the long haul rather than trying to sprint

check out reddit's 'lose it' subreddit and get a calorie tracking app

One meal a day wtf

Weight loss is 90% motivation. Get there in your head and you’ll get there physically - get on Pinterest and create weight loss boards, print off motivational pics and keep them on your fridge, inside your wardrobe door, inside kitchen cupboards.
Keep pictures/quotes inside your purse if you need to.
Watch meal prep on youtube.
Set tiny goals and smash them until you look backs and realise all those little goals have become one big thing.

You’re more than capable of doing this, you’ve just got to be your own worst critic and your own best cheerleader. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to you’re best friend trying lose weight - brutally honest but also kind.

Keep yourself accountable with a diary or a countdown sheet or some kind of system. Keep an anonymous blog if it helps. One day at a time.

I’m doing Exante. There are people on the Facebook group with more to lose than you and it’s falling off. I’ve lost 1.5 stone in the last month.... maybe have a look at that? It takes willpower for the first week but after that you’re in ketosis and don’t feel hungry. And you don’t exercise on it either ( well you can if you want but you don’t have to).

I think you need to break that down, try to lose 2-3 stones per year. I piled over 3 stones on in my mid twenties and I was huge as I'm very short. It was from drinking too much alcohol and then eating late at night. I cut down drinking alcohol to once per week which made it far more enjoyable anyway, and walked every single day for 20 mins minimum, fast walking. I did do slim fast to get the weight off but have maintained it by making sure I walk as much as possible, and I don't drink alcohol at all now as I have very young dc, I don't get chance!
You can do it op, you just need to make little changes for it to be off forever. Drastic things can help you get the weight off but hard to keep going. You need someone to encourage you too!

Another one here who only eats once a day. I know it's not for everyone. I know all that stuff about you 'must' eat breakfast, but that's never worked for me (I just feel hungrier!).

I do myfitnesspal, and I 'save' nearly all my calories for my evening meal, and really (and I mean really!) enjoy it, and I never deny myself any food group! And I speak as someone who was a bit 'blobby' at 48 (4 stone overweight) in 2015, and resolved to be 'fit by fifty' (by July 2017) and by then I'd lost the 4 stone, taken up running, and here I am nearly 2 years later, still eating mostly once a day and still monitoring everything on myfitnesspal. I really do think monitoring everything (and not lying to yourself) is a key part of this. It has to be your 'new normal', your new way of living/lifestyle, or it's never going to stick. It also has to work around cooking for your family, otherwise it won't stick. That's why eating 'normal family food' is a must, just less of it and keeping tabs on it using an app matters so much.

I do run a bit now too - nothing spectacular as I have dodgy knees, but I can knock out the odd 5 or 10K these days from not running a step two years ago, and it's great when 3 or so maintenance 5Ks a week 'pay for' the odd eating treat.

Just start slowly. Don't think of it as 'losing 10 stone' otherwise it'll just feel like an insurmountable hill you'll never conquer. Do a stone. Celebrate. Then do another. And so on. Go for a walk a few days a week. Just 30 mins, as fast as you can. It all helps, and walking is gentle on the joints.

Good luck!

With all due respect, you are pretty unlikely to lose it and keep it off.

I was in the same situation and when I read the evidence I realised that really the only long term solution was bariatric surgery. I’m now 11 stones lighter than my heaviest and life is completely different. I could barely wipe my own arse.

Good luck with whatever you decide.