To ask if I actually am bu

[newstartz]

I have a job interview today. An hour away by train. Plus twenty mins walking distance. For not much more money than I earn now, if any when you factor in train fare.
Also won't be able to pick my son up from school,my current job is five minute walk away.

I've planned it, what I'm going to wear. What time I'm leaving. Set my alarm. And I've woken up and I'm filled with dread. Just don't want to go.

I have form for planning things and not following through though. Is this my anxiety. Or is it me thinking sensibly?

Why did you apply for the job?

Unless there's an amazing reason it sounds like your head is having a word with you.

It's today? Go! You can always turn it down if you get it and don't want it.

What made you apply in the first place?

I would go to the interview and see how you get on. After all you can always come home, weigh up your options and then say no if you're offered the position but decide it's not for you. At least this way you'll never wonder what if!

What's the reason for the new job? Any benefits to it?

The reasons for me applying was because I wanted to get away from someone I currently work with. Work and home lives were getting a bit blurred and I just wanted out. But now I'm sat here thinking by me doing that, it will affect my home life with my child instead

There's not enough info in your op to be really sure whether it's worth it.

How unhappy are you in your current job?

Does the new job have better promotion prospects or more interesting work or other advantages?

I think the best thing is to go and do your best, and come back here and work through the dilemma if you are offered the job.

If you aren't offered the job it will have been useful practice.

Negotiate a better salary and working hours

Why don’t you go and worry about what to do if you get offered the job? Use it as interview experience which will help you in your pursuit of another job, if this one doesn’t end up being the right one.

They obviously think you’re a good candidate, so keep that in mind!

Just do the interview. If they offer you the role you can discuss flexible hours and salary. But if you don’t go then you’re letting your anxiety get the better of you.

Jobs are both very similar.
Also similar hours and pay.

I've realised that when I said I was trying to get away from someone, it sounded a lot more serious than it is. It's just someone who wants a relationship with me, and as I'm not seeing anyone and get lonely sometimes I get sucked in. He's constantly pestering me. I know deep down I need to grow up and tell him to leave me alone and that it's not going anywhere.

Rather than run away and stick a two hour commute on my day.

Or is that a perfectly valid reaction? I don't know.

Just go and see what it’s like.
I’m at a job 3 times the distance for the same money and it’s a million times better than the one I left.

Don’t be a flake. Go. You never know what it will lead to and if nothing else, it’s interview practice.

I remember sitting in a pub in a dead end industrial suburb of London before an interview crying on the phone to DH and feeling low about why I was there. It wasn’t even close to the type of company/industry I usually worked for. It turned out to be a great workplace, excellent money and the beginning of me setting up my own company and the base for the really nice life I have now.

Sounds like you weren't applying for it for the right reasons in the first place.
Even if you are offered the job I don't think you would be right to take it with the added commute and effect on your home life unless it was a promotion/better hours/more money.
I wouldn't waste your or their time to be honest!

OP, keep your existing job, and be very clear with the pesterer and /or get HR or your line manager involved. Workplace harassment should not be permitted.

I wouldnt go as 2 hours extra a day would really effect home life. More expense on the train to. Good luck if you do go

Normally I would say go since you've come this far but with such a huge increase in travel time and having to arrange pick ups for your child it doesn't seem doable without a commensurate salary increase or definite progression possibilities.
So I say don't go but keep looking for another job nearby. You don't need to run away from the other person to out distance between you. Just make it plain that you are colleagues a and no more.

Go to the interview. Renegotiate with current employer (if you have an offer). Get HR/manager to help you get creep to back off.

Do the interview, it's useful practice.

Tell the work person you aren't interested and would like them not to mention it again. Have you had some dates, or only office flirting?

I would go and get the interview experience.

I don't think you should leave the job you are currently happy with and suits your home life because of this person.

Do you see him on a daily basis? My first suggestion would be to block him from being able to co tact you outside of work, so phone, social media etc...

I applied for a job that wasn't worth it in the end so I cancelled the interview.

A year later I'm in a job I love so I think your gut feeling should be listened too.

I would go as it’s today and you never know what may come of it. I had a similar situation last year, got offered the job, spent a week swinging from one side to another and then turned it down. Would’ve meant a long commute and working day (no little ‘uns anymore though) and a big salary increase, though travel would’ve eaten large part of it. I turned it down because I actually didn’t really like the new boss and career-wise it was sideways so would’ve been same shit different place. Am still looking! If you are offered the job, take your time and really consider all on the table. Best of luck with whatever happens!

To all the people saying "go it's good interview practice".
Look at it from the potential employers side! If you have ever had to interview people for a role you will know how frustrating it is when you take hours out of your day to interview candidates, sit and make a decision about who is the best fit for the role. Offer it to them only for them to turn the job down based on commute time! Well why did you even apply if you knew the commute time was too long! Then you have to start all over again... I don't think it's fair to use a potential employer as "practise".

Sometimes an interview can help make everything clearer for you. I recently thought i wanted to move but after 1interview I realised I’m happy where I am

I’ve done this in the past took a job with a one hour commute from a job I could walk to. For the same money. I was pissed off with something and it was a knee jerk reaction and within a couple of weeks I regretted it.
I’d ride out the situation in work and assert yourself and tell the person to stop pestered you or you will be putting in a formal complaint

@bimbobaggins that's what I'm worried this is. A knee jerk reaction. I think I should be focusing on other things in my private life, and that in turn will make work a little easier for me.

I do think if this job was closer I would go. I applied for lots of jobs in the last three weeks, and when I had the email through that it wa sthe one so far away, I was disappointed that it was this one. I think I knew then that it wasn't suitable. But now the day has come I'm wondering what the hell im doing.

Do you think, from my child's point of view, it's selfish? And for him I should just get a grip?