To think wtaf is happening in our work place.

[Deadbudgie]

I work in a large firm. It has many different interest groups, Muslim soc, Christian soc, women’s network, mental health group, disability group, lgbt group, carers group, scuba diving soc.. the list goes on. Now mostly,unless you’re part of a group you don’t really notice their existence, you might get invited via a firm wide email to celebrate eid with a samosa by the Muslim society, told about talks by mental health group, told about a city carol concert by Christian soc etc. But the leader of the lgbt group is on a mission to either out everyone or make sure they are a visible straight supporter. If you’re in his team and don’t clear the decks for pride you might as well hand in your resignation, everyone has been given rainbow lanyards to wear security passes on. Rainbow flags adorn every notice board. Now I really don’t care who any of my colleagues are in a relationship with, the Christian soc manages to go about it’s business without insisting everyone attaches a crucifix to their lanyard, no sign of mental health symbols either (and I suspect this has a wider relevance to the employee population. Aibu to think all this forced showing of support has no place in the work place and if you tried it with anything else you would be sacked!

There are thousands of meritorious causes. I don't like being told which ones I should support, especially in the workplace.

Agree with OP. And DuchessThingy saying it’s goady just proves the point really doesn’t it? It’s come to something when expressing a valid opinion is seen as being goady . 🙁

I agree with both the PP who said that s/he would be narked if it was compulsory to virtue-signal your support for even the worthiest, most uncontroversial charity in the workplace, nd the one who said tht a lot of LGBTQ people are unimpressed with corporate virtue-signally of this type. By all means allow people di display tokens of their allegiances, but don't compel them and don't treat them as though they are wickedly opposed to the cause/charity (even if they are, if they don't make it known in the workplce other than refusting to wear a party hat, then leave them alone.)

YANBU, not wanting it shoved down your throat is not the same is being opposed to LGBT rights

You can't compare it to the Christian society - Christianity has longstanding power in our society, not a history of being oppressed.

Unless I missed the recent history where vast swathes of our society strongly believed homosexuality was immoral and that it was acceptable - nay, advisable - to ostracise anybody who dared to live their lives as a gay person. Not to mention informing them that they deserved to, and would, burn in hell. Who seemed to revel in telling them that AIDS was their punishment from God for being gay.

Did I miss that happening to Christians very recently, and on a smaller scale continuing today?

Did I miss Christians being imprisoned in living memory? Having their entires lives ruined by criminal convictions for simply living as themselves?

No. Didn't think so.

Not the same.

Homophobia is not a legitimate or defensible "view". It's prejudice and discrimination.

A Christian cross is a statement of faith, a rainbow lanyard is a statement of not being homophobic. That you accept your colleagues without judgement.

Being straight is not a lifestyle choice, and nor is being gay. "I don't care who people are seeing" is bollocks when it comes from straight people who've never had to think twice about whether it's safe for them to mention their own partner's name in passing, let alone talk about them or the life they share. Who've never had colleagues whispering about their sexuality, or attributing every nuance of their personality to their sexuality.

Or do you keep being straight a secret from your colleagues, never making any reference to any part of your life that might give you away, such that they could accuse you of sharing "unnecessary" personal details?

Or do you feel safe to unthinkingly make casual references to it whenever you fancy, without any fear of backlash, judgement, or rejection, because you're safe in the knowledge you're "normal" and everybody has already assumed you to be that way and accepted you as you are?

Have you even stopped to consider this from the other side?

I go to work to work, not to attach myself to a cause. I might choose to in my private life but I like to keep things simple at work and make like Switzerland.

What are some actual examples of the 'LGBT agenda' being shoved in your face? Apart from a flag on a notice board and a free lanyard?

I don't like things being forced on people either, generally.

But they're not forcing you to try being gay. They're asking you to support efforts to stop discrimination and prejudice.

If I had colleagues kicking up a fuss and refusing to swap their lanyard for the cause of the month/year/whatever, I would be really troubled by what that meant about how they viewed team members affected.

My employer has a charity of the year. This year it's not one I would have chosen, and although I don't doubt it's a good cause, it wouldn't be the charity I would choose to support with my personal efforts and I was disappointed it wasn't one closer to my heart.

That said, I'm not making a fuss or refusing to participate in efforts. And I wouldn't refuse to amend my email signature to include it, etc.

Not just because it's my employer telling me to do it, but because I recognise that would be intensely disrespectful and distressing to other staff for whom this charity has deep personal relevance - and I don't want to denigrate the importance of this cause just because it wouldn't have been my personal priority. It's not about me.

I agree with you OP. It's bonkers.

Unless a bake sale is involved. I'm all about the bake sale.

Having stuffed myself to almost sickness levels in support of MacMillan today, I hear ya JustWantTo

Now I really don’t care who any of my colleagues are in a relationship with

That's great, but if the gay people don't know that, there's a good chance they won't risk coming out to you because they've experienced negative reactions to their sexuality on a regular basis.

As a gay person, the benefit of the rainbows is as a way of knowing that person has made a conscious decision to signal their support to their LGBT colleagues, and that I can talk about a girlfriend or gay event when they ask what I'm doing at the weekend without having to worry about whether it's a good idea career-wise to let that person know I'm gay.

Obviously, you might not care if people come out to you or not, and as PPs have said, they're at work to work, not to talk about their personal lives. But people do talk about their personal lives occasionally at work and being in the closet and having to worry about whether your colleagues would hate you if they knew the truth is shit and actually incredibly stressful.

So if the rainbow colours bother you remember that they're there for people who have a very different experience of the world and your workplace from you. If you think the rainbows don't matter, you're not their target audience. And if you don't get that, don't display a rainbow.

I agree with you Op.

No one should feel 'peer pressure' to conform like this.

I would not like it at all. Despite not being a bigot or a prude or whatever name I might be called for saying I don't like it.

The space at work belongs to everybody and so there needs to be a certain level of neutrality in the shared space/branding related to the organisation in order to foster a sense of belonging, Everyone who works here belongs here. No matter your gender/race/religion/sexuality.

When someone invites you to carol service or to eat a samosa - its an invitation and people have a choice to partake or not. It feels like your ability to choose how far to partake has been taken away from you and that is where I can really see why that makes you feel uneasy.

After the fight for equality then a mark of true social acceptance is a type of social invisibility/unremarkableness.

@AnoukSpirit
Why do you think that support for different lifestyles should be forced in a workplace?
Most people go to work to make enough money to live.
It’s really unfair for workplaces to push agendas on those who just want to get on with their job and their own lives, and not judge others.

I am another who prefers to be neutrally professional at work & would resent feeling compelled to visually signal support for any cause, however worthy. Live and let live, some want to wear badges & make a noise, some just want get on with their job, there is space for all.

I would probably just wear the lanyard (and definelty would if it was voluntary) but fundamentally I agree. It also poses problems when these causes/groups clash. What happensif you were a member of a faith which meant you didn’t feel able to support a certain cause? Say you are a Muslim who doesn’t feel able to support gay marriage- but is in every way professional and decent to LGBT people at work (and life). Should you be ‘outed’ for your religious conviction?

I agree with the OP to a degree - I am there to work. I couldn’t care less who dates who of what sex - I really really don’t bloody care. What I do care about is being forced to joining the LGBT community in my work and if I were to refuse - my mid year review goes against me in some way as I’m not ‘being inclusive’ 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s annoying really.

@LonginesPrime
this with rainbow bells on 🌈

@AnoukSpirit
Do you really think Christians haven’t been persecuted? Do you think Christians around the world haven’t been killed in the name of something. Christians are killed for being Christian ALL the time. You’re argument is madness. Have you heard of history? And the way that history affects our current society.
You can be a minority for being or believing anything.
We should all be inclusive one way or another, Christian / lesbian/ gay/ trans
Whatever you are or you believe in.

Doesn’t mean you should feel forced into inclusivity at work.

I disagree OP. Sexuality is not a choice, religion is. So you can’t compare the two. Showing your support for their rights is no different to showing your support for women’s rights, disabled persons rights or ethnic minority persons rights. Perhaps your colleague is a little aggressive in his approach, but I completely get that & don’t see it necessarily as a problem.

YANBU, not wanting it shoved down your throat is not the same is being opposed to LGBT rights

How on earth does what is described in this thread amount to "shoving it down our throat"? And why do homophobic people always insist on describing the promotion of gay equality in such sexually suggestive terms?

YANBU, not wanting it shoved down your throat is not the same is being opposed to LGBT rights

You don't know you're born love

I think we’re at the same firm, OP.

I actually like the rainbow lanyard and I was all about the rainbow cupcakes.

But, I do agree with you. It is the blanket world view that makes me uneasy. The Trans/Women debate has really alerted me to the trade off that comes with making one point of view the only good and acceptable one.

Hang on here, so raising inclusion of LGBT at work is not a good idea?

Why is raising awareness and normalising this not ok?

I am straight (as if it matters) and have many LGBT friends. I hear from them how they are afraid to show affection in public, to hold hands, to raise a child as a non standard couple.

I find this very sad, I would implore you to rethink your stance and consider how you would feel if you had a child who identified this way and how you would want him or her to feel.

A rainbow lanyard won't kill you but it might help someone else feel more freedom.

If you’re in his team and don’t clear the decks for pride you might as well hand in your resignation

Goady shit. I don’t believe this for a second. If this is a genuine concern, go over his head to someone more senior,

Isn’t it funny how sexual equality is ‘forcing it down someone’s throat’, yet the assumption that everyone is straight and has never had to live with discrimination and an unequal age of consent is fine?