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Original poster

What would an appropriate conversation / punishment be if a 5 yr old...

42 replies

Ninjawannabee · 28/09/2018 16:52

If a 5 yr old (closer to 6, no SEN) spilt a full glass of milk all over a table / floor due to being a bit careless and not noticing that by moving her arm she was going to topple it?

What would you do / say to him or her? And how would you expect him or her to react?

If it's relevant the situation was in a restaurant, not at home. Think harvester or slightly smarter

OP posts:
Sirzy · 28/09/2018 16:54

“Oh dear don’t worry accidents happen. Let’s get it cleaned up”

bump98 · 28/09/2018 16:55

If it was an accident I would not punish my child for spilling milk. If she picked the cup up and threw it I would tell her off. But an accidental spilling due to be being careless ? I would mop up the mess and tell her to be more careful next time, and that a whole glass of milk has been wasted. And then get her another glass.

Fevertree · 28/09/2018 16:55

I would expect them to help clean it up but nothing else. It was an accident! And I wouldn't have given them a full glass of milk within their 'knocking' range either.

TidyDancer · 28/09/2018 16:55

What @Sirzy said.

Singlenotsingle · 28/09/2018 16:57

"oh you clumsy clot!" Shock. No punishment, it was an accident.

bridgetreilly · 28/09/2018 16:57

Yup, that's not a punishment situation, though a good moment for teaching about being careful and helping to clean up.

WorraLiberty · 28/09/2018 16:58

I'd make them do their best to clear it up and if a member of staff needed to come and clean the floor, I'd made sure they apologised.

Not a 'punishment', just a lesson in taking responsibility.

KindergartenKop · 28/09/2018 16:58

Are you me? My ds does this all the time. I would be exasperated at his lack of care but fundamentally he can't help being a clutz. I'd give him a kiss and apologise if I'd been short with him.

Are you asking for a friend? What's the deal here?

Stuckforthefourthtime · 28/09/2018 16:59

What @sirzy said too. If it was DS2 this might have been said with a grumpier face though, as he was perpetually careless - I'd be more sympathetic to a child who was generally careful.

Even adults make this kind of mistake sometimes, not worth ruining a time out for it.

SoyDora · 28/09/2018 16:59

I’d probably let out (and cover up) an impatient grunt then say ‘let’s clear that up, accidents happens’ through through slightly gritted teeth

JacNaylor · 28/09/2018 17:02

I'd definitely get them to clear it up, that's important. Apart from that though, if it was an accident, no punishment needed?
Is this a friend/Dp who you feelhas over reacted?

pinkpantsrock · 28/09/2018 17:02

Are you for real? it was an accident, we've all spilt drinks!

How's you feel if you spilt your drink and was punished? pretty shit....

if your serious and punished your child for this, you need some parenting help and i feel sorry for your poor child

fishfingersandketchup · 28/09/2018 17:03

I have a horrible feeling you're going to come back and post that a punishment was given for this - if it was truly an accident then poor child, accidents happen.Sad

WorraLiberty · 28/09/2018 17:05

My money is on the ex or the MIL giving the child a punishment

Original poster
Ninjawannabee · 28/09/2018 17:05

OK all answers broadly in line with what I'd do so far. I think 'oops, let's try and be a bit more careful next time, let's get a cloth and clean it up together' feels appropriate

In the situation neither parent noticed even though milk was dripping everywhere, then when I pointed it out to them (had my hands full with my own baby so couldn't help out myself) one parent just absent minded my said 'don't worry, it's ok' and cleaned it up himself without a single word of encouragement to be more careful etc. The child in question laughed at dad clearing it up, rolled their eyes and said very loudly 'I know it's ok'.
Such a small thing but this family have form for not disciplining their children and it really got up my nose how the child acted completely entitled to make a huge mess and play no part in clearing it up, have no recognition of the fact it wasn't a good thing to happen.

There have been similar incidents over the last couple of years, some significantly more dangerous, and the kid has never once been told off.

I'm not suggesting naughty step or shouting, or even refusing to replace the drink, but you do actually have to teach your children what good and bad and careful and careless behaviour is, or they'll never know

Just having an idle moment on a bus and fancied a rant, and wondered if anyone else will admit to parenting their child like a magic cleaning-up fairy

OP posts:
IloveJudgeJudy · 28/09/2018 17:06

DH says 'beheading' 😝. This is because it's the one thing that makes him upset. He doesn't know why and I don't know why. He's always been like this. In reality, though, tell them that this is the reason you always put drinks into the middle of the table if possible and that it was an accident, obviously and ask them to be a bit more careful in future.

What did happen?

Nothisispatrick · 28/09/2018 17:06

I would want them to attempt to clean it up, but nothing else.

WorraLiberty · 28/09/2018 17:08

Well I never saw that coming.

Mildly annoying but other than that, I wouldn't give someone else's child a second thought unless they spilled it in my house.

Original poster
Ninjawannabee · 28/09/2018 17:11

Actually what I'd do is probably really twatty so interested in who would do similar, while I've got your attention!

I'd probably say uh-oh, what a disaster, oh no we're going to have to throw the milky table away now aren't we? Oh dear!' then grab a cloth and say 'quick, I think we can save it if we clear it up really quickly together'

Just out of interest, although this is clearly tedious and knobby in public, does anyone think there is anything wrong with this jokey approach? Should I be more serious or is this fine? I don't want to encourage the children to spill drinks because it's so much 'fun' when they do Confused

OP posts:
IStandWithPosie · 28/09/2018 17:14

I would joke about not crying over spilt milk with a comforting wink and a nudge to the child and then ask them to go and ask the staff for some extra napkins so we could dry it up.

Di11y · 28/09/2018 17:15

If at home dd knows where the cloth is and clears it up herself, restaurant yes I'd get a cloth and get her to help.

HolesinTheSoles · 28/09/2018 17:22

Erm I'd say "oops never mind, go and get some kitchen roll and it'll soon be cleaned up".

Sirzy · 28/09/2018 17:23

To me your “jokey” approach would seem rather “drama queen” to me!

Upsy1981 · 28/09/2018 17:24

DD has form for being careless and leaving drinks near to the edge of the table, despite frequent warnings and me moving them. When she takes another drink it goes back near the edge so if it had happened after she'd been warned about it, I would not be impressed and she would know about it. If genuine accident, despite taking all reasonable precautions, I'd just get it cleaned up. Wouldn't be bothered about getting child to help, especially if out in public as would just want to get it done and/or get a staff member to help/bring cloths or mop if required.

Thesearmsofmine · 28/09/2018 17:25

I would say oops, and I would mop it up with napkins.

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