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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother in law sent a graphic video of a murder abroad to my phone. AIBU?

50 replies

Mummblebee · 27/09/2018 18:56

Me and my daughters father are not together. I have contact with him when he visits our daughter once a week and keep in touch with his mother sending photos of dd etc via WhatsApp.

Yesterday I was really shocked and disturbed when she send me a video of a man being brutally murdered by a group of men using an iron bar to beat him to death in a racist attack. I am so disgusted and outraged that she would send this type of thing to me and I can't understand what her reasoning is. I stopped the video 5 seconds in but it was enough to have me disturbed 24 hours later.

AIBU to be outraged and have doubts around her intent and to not even want to speak to her anymore.

I just responded. "Why?! That's a very graphic video. I would rather not see things like that"

She has read but not responded. I have had no reason to think she is malicious towards me and this type of thing hasn't happened before. Things are quite complicated and can be tumultuous between me and her son so I'm not sure what her true feelings towards me are and she is most likely just civil for the sake of maintaining a relationship with her granddaughter.

What do you think? Was she just extremely ignorant and naive or was it malicious?

OP posts:
EvePolastri · 27/09/2018 18:59

Probably a mistake!

You are over thinking this....

trevthecat · 27/09/2018 19:00

Is it possible she has a virus or something? A friend of mine sometimes sends daft £500 voucher type messages and it's not his doing

MrsJayy · 27/09/2018 19:01

Has she ever threatened you in the past? I have no idea why people share these things stupidity and ghoulish is more than likely the reason but god knows why she sent it

HoleyCoMoley · 27/09/2018 19:01

Where did this video originate from, was it a news story. Weird.

Original poster
Mummblebee · 27/09/2018 19:02

No it was a video of a graphic murder forwarded to my phone with no warning of content. I don't think it was an accident or spam.

OP posts:
florenceheadache · 27/09/2018 19:04

It would be best to speak to her and ask. My mil has passed but my 85 yr old mom sends random video clips via e-mail. No matter how much we tell her about viruses she doesn’t get it.

Original poster
Mummblebee · 27/09/2018 19:04

I'm not sure where it originated. It was floating around a couple of years ago on the Internet and seems to have resurfaced.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 27/09/2018 19:05

Could she have sent it to the wrong person?

LostInShoebiz · 27/09/2018 19:08

When I open WhatsApp it opens on the last chat I was in when I clicked off it. Maybe it’s just that. I send the wrong thing to people frequently that way.

Original poster
Mummblebee · 27/09/2018 19:08

I genuinely don't believe she sent it to the wrong person or it was some kind of mistake. When I responded she has just read and ignored. That should of been her chance to speak up if it was an accident or apologise for sending that horrific footage.

OP posts:
FelicisWolf · 27/09/2018 19:08

Sounds like malware to me. Open the link and it broadcasts to all of your contacts type thing.

werideatdawn · 27/09/2018 19:10

You seem really keen to think its malicious Confused my first thought would be that someone had sent that to me in error, they'd been hacked or something like that until I knew differently.
Delete it and move on.

florenceheadache · 27/09/2018 19:11

Not if she’s dealing with several other people all telling her about this video she sent out and doesn’t know how to deal with it, scared spitless to send anything.
If you think it’s a real threat call the police.

TheSecretiveOne · 27/09/2018 19:16

Don’t understand the responses you’re getting OP. I know people that love sending things like this so people can be as ‘shocked’ and ‘disgusted’ as they are. I have friends and colleagues do it and I block anyone that does. If it was malware or a virus she would have responded with “what are you talking about”? When you sent her that message.

Original poster
Mummblebee · 27/09/2018 19:18

I don't take it as a threat. I would have thought that most people would be upset being sent murder footage with no warning or apology.

OP posts:
EvePolastri · 27/09/2018 19:18

She's no history of doing it previously and no motivation for doing so now

Your problem here seems to be you wanting her to be guilty of something, you seem adamant she's consciously done it.

placemats · 27/09/2018 19:31

Are you in an abusive relationship with her son?

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 27/09/2018 19:32

That sounds like an awful thing to have received OP. It would have upset me as well.

You say that you have 'doubts around her intent'...can you expand on that? You say the the footage was a racist attack...has she made racist statements in the past or similar?

YeahCorvid · 27/09/2018 19:33

Is there a racial element in your relationship with her? Are you the same race? Is there any racial tension?

LydiaLunch7 · 27/09/2018 19:34

If you're adamant that it wasn't a mistake (and tbf if it was, then its weird that she didn't apologise when you asked why she sent it), then it's surely malicious/a threat? There's not really any other explanation.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 27/09/2018 19:37

Your problem here seems to be you wanting her to be guilty of something

I thought the problem was being sent something horrifically distressing without warning and having the text asking wtf being completely ignored.

Lunde · 27/09/2018 19:43

Well if it was a mistake/malware - wouldn't the MIL have messaged back at once to apologise or say she didn't send it?

shinycat · 27/09/2018 19:51

I'd want to be sure it was definitely sent by her before I started kicking off, and calling her the worst witch in the world. Hmm

Maybe the MIL is confused by the message because she didn't send the video and she wonders WTF it's about!

I am confused about the pp asking if the OP and her husband are different races? What's that got to do with price of fish? Confused

LydiaLunch7 · 27/09/2018 19:56

I am confused about the pp asking if the OP and her husband are different races? What's that got to do with price of fish?

Because OP said the video was of a racially motivated murder. So if they're different races, then it seems even more threatening.

Forumqueen · 27/09/2018 19:56

I bet some one just sent it to her as a chain message and she’s passed it on to all her contacts. You are thinking too deeply. I’m