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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Manspreader on train

33 replies

Dobson4675 · 27/09/2018 14:33

I'm on a train. Man sat next to me is manspreading into my personal space. I'm leaning away so much my back is aching! WIBU to forcefully elbow him to move the fuck out of my space? It's his top half that's the issue. I can't move my left arm without whacking him.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 27/09/2018 14:36

Don't lean away, sit back and make him move

Ariela · 27/09/2018 14:36

Every time you go over the points, dig your elbow in his direction

ClaudiaWankleman · 27/09/2018 14:38

How does one man spread with their top half? I thought the whole thing was about sitting with knees wide apart.
Just sit up straight and reclaim your space. Be an adult.

whyhaveidonethis · 27/09/2018 14:39

Move your left arm continually!! Keep whacking him....or just say "could you move your arm please?" Loudly

SillySallySingsSongs · 27/09/2018 14:39

Manspreading doesn't involve top halves. Confused

Original poster
Dobson4675 · 27/09/2018 14:39

He's asleep now! I've been trying to have a forceful arm but it's not working. He's big, not fat, but just big. His entire body is leaning at me.

OP posts:
OoohAyyye · 27/09/2018 14:39

Just ask him to move over.

Original poster
Dobson4675 · 27/09/2018 14:40

Ha! He just woke up, moved his arm and I made my move. Glued my arm to the arm rest and he's moved seats!

OP posts:
TenForward82 · 27/09/2018 14:40

"Wake up, mate, you're leaning on me." Loudly.

Disfordarkchocolate · 27/09/2018 14:41

I really hate this. When it happens I just happily elbow away, when they move I take the space I need and I can keep it up for hours without stopping. I sound a bit grumpy but if I pay for a seat I want the whole seat!

TenForward82 · 27/09/2018 14:41

Cross Post. Good-o.

Original poster
Dobson4675 · 27/09/2018 14:42

So pedantic! I know manspreading is legs but think about it, he's a man and was spreading his arms beyond socially acceptable norms. Same difference. If it makes you happier he was also manspreading in the traditional sense.

OP posts:
EmpressAdultHumanFemale · 27/09/2018 14:44

I usually shove my bag in between us. It's never actually in his seat space so he can't legitimately object.

Lottapianos · 27/09/2018 14:47

'Manspreading doesn't involve top halves'

It so does. Reading the newspaper with both pages spread wide open. Elbow coming over the armrest into your space. Settling into the seat and getting nice and comfy instead of trying to keep your limbs as neat as possible like considerate people do when they're on public transport

Well done for asserting yourself OP!

Bluelady · 27/09/2018 14:49

I just ask them to stop it but I'm a formidable old trout and they tend to just change seats.

JassyRadlett · 27/09/2018 14:49

Ugh. I had one in a seat facing me yesterday. He slid down in the seat, stretched his legs out one side either of my two (politely pulled back so not to encroach on the limited space) and slid further down the seat during the journey because he fell asleep. His feet ended up under my seat and his legs kept slipping so they rested on my knees. I gave them a good jerk away each time but he didn’t adjust his posture.

LostInShoebiz · 27/09/2018 15:01

I like to either swing my bag wildly as I sit down and accidentally jostle the leg back over or I sit with my leg pressed against there’s until they move back.

I know everyone was saying that woman with the bleach was awful this morning but when I saw that I felt something.

Grated · 27/09/2018 15:04

Instead of elbowing him you could try that radical method of politely asking him

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 27/09/2018 15:07

"Excuse me have you seen a Dr about your mahoosive testicles" ?

"Oh I assumed they must be over a seat's width the way you are taking up half my seat also."

Laureline · 27/09/2018 15:23

I put my (heavy) handbag on people like that (eithet on the leg or the arm, depending on the “spreading” bit).
It generally gets the point across. Grin

Satsumaeater · 27/09/2018 15:23

I always make a point of moving the armrest down but some of our trains don't have them.

It's not just manspreaders, it's anyone who decides they need to work or read with their elbows stuck out.

SillySallySingsSongs · 27/09/2018 15:28

It so does. Reading the newspaper with both pages spread wide open. Elbow coming over the armrest into your space. Settling into the seat and getting nice and comfy instead of trying to keep your limbs as neat as possible like considerate people do when they're on public transport

That's not exclusive to men. That's people being arses. I've had to ask women before if they could move arms etc.

Instead of elbowing him you could try that radical method of politely asking him

Such an overrated method these days Grin

MondayImInLove · 27/09/2018 17:52

I hate this! I am slim and lots of people (mostly men but women also) seem to think it means they can spread on my seat.
No thank you, I hate physical contact with strangers Angry

blackteasplease · 27/09/2018 18:10

I ask them to move or just sit really rigidly up to the line.

What I want to say is "oh good has someone announced a discounted price for me / women / smaller people (depending on situation)"

blackteasplease · 27/09/2018 18:11

If you are on the seat first, stick something rigid in the divide. I've tried pencils before which are good are pointy.