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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

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68 replies

Cantbelievethis123 · 27/09/2018 14:26

I have received 2 anonymous letters the past month. Both typed but the address has been handwritten. They were posted and had stamps on them.
They are not threatening in nature just saying they know I'm having an affair with a married man (I'm not) and that his wife will find out soon.
Is it worth reporting these to the police? Would they do anything? Is there a way to find out who's sent them? Or should I just ignore and carry on with my life?

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 27/09/2018 17:04

I second the idea of making HR aware as it's work-related (assuming you still work in the same office). I doubt they would be able to anything, but should it be a disgruntled colleague and they later try to discredit you in some way at work, it would be wise to have this on record.

FootFlapperage · 27/09/2018 17:06

Maybe it was meant for your partner?

Aquamarine1029 · 27/09/2018 17:10

Do you still work for the same company, and if so, does the man as well?

glintandglide · 27/09/2018 17:10

Graphista OP has been to the police already

Original poster
Cantbelievethis123 · 27/09/2018 17:17

I still work at the same place. He left months ago. I don't know how the person has my address. I've only lived here a couple of months after separating with my partner. I haven't even changed my address details at work yet

OP posts:
ShawshanksRedemption · 27/09/2018 17:21

after separating with my partner

Was that mutual or acrimonious OP? Does your ex know the address?

Ginkypig · 27/09/2018 17:25

I'd probably have a word with your hr department mentioning you've gone to the police, not for them to do anything as such but if the link is work and something happens like letters to work or messages on work social media etc then they are aware in advance

SirVixofVixHall · 27/09/2018 17:29

Creepy. I once had someone write anonymous letters about me, rather than to me. They were to my employer . The woman who wrote them had a mental health problem, but although I could be sympathetic toward her it was still unsettling and upsetting. You’ve done the right thing in reporting them - I imagine you’ve spent ages thinking about who could have sent them, is there anyone with a grudge against you ?

Gersemi · 27/09/2018 17:29

It is illegal under the malicious communications act, I suspect as what they're saying isn't true also under libel law.

It's not libel unless and until it's published to someone else.

OP, do the envelope show where they were posted? I assume you don't recognise the handwriting - it is worth asking someone like HR to check whether it's anyone at your workplace?

Original poster
Cantbelievethis123 · 27/09/2018 17:30

I wouldn't say the split was mutual but we still get on well. He does know the address as we have dcs but he wouldn't do this

OP posts:
Easynow · 27/09/2018 17:32

I've only lived here a couple of months after separating with my partner

Your ex could be the culprit here.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 27/09/2018 17:33

Has anyone from work visited your house or stayed over? Is it possible someone has been followed to your house and it is that person who is having an affair?

Original poster
Cantbelievethis123 · 27/09/2018 17:35

I doubt it would be my ex. I would've never mentioned the guy to him.
No one apart from family and friends have been here. Oh god I hope no ones been following me!!

OP posts:
RudeZebra · 27/09/2018 17:39

As they were posted the police can request a post office trace to at least where they were posted and when which may lead to who's sending them

Jesus wept. How on earth do you think the police have resources do complete that level of investigation for 2 letters? It is no where near the threshold for malicious communications offences.

Creeper8 · 27/09/2018 17:43

creepy

FishesaPlenty · 27/09/2018 17:54

I suspect as what they're saying isn't true also under libel law.

That only counts if they send the letter to someone else.

If I send you a letter saying 'something false' about you then that's between us. If I send a letter to someone else saying the same false thing then it's (probably) libel.

If I tell you that I know you eat puppies then it's a completely different matter to me telling your mum or The Sun that I know you eat puppies.

(I don't think that you eat puppies!)

Graphista · 27/09/2018 17:55

"It's not libel unless and until it's published to someone else." Ok didn't know that. Thought it was anything written, that stated a lie.

RudeZebra - apt name - I meant if further letters were received or matters escalated in other ways. It was so op understood why myself and others were saying to keep the letters and envelopes and what it would come under.

As for "nowhere near the threshold" I wasn't aware there was one? As the act stands even one communication is illegal if it's intended to cause distress!

FishesaPlenty · 27/09/2018 17:55

It is no where near the threshold for malicious communications offences.

It's the exact threshold for harassment.

glintandglide · 27/09/2018 17:59

Says who Fishesaplenty?

FishesaPlenty · 27/09/2018 18:24

Says who Fishesaplenty?

The law. Protection from Harassment Act 1997.

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/contents

I relies on two definitions: 'course of conduct' is two or more acts (or arguably a long-running continual act) and it needs to cause 'alarm or distress'.

Original poster
Cantbelievethis123 · 27/09/2018 19:22

I have no idea about the legal side of this but I was prepared that the police wouldn't do anything due to it only being two vague letters. But I am grateful for the advice to log it anyway as now if anything else happens I've got the ball rolling

OP posts:
Gersemi · 27/09/2018 19:31

How does the Malicious Communications Act interrelate with the Protection from Harassment Act?

glintandglide · 27/09/2018 19:36

How is that a threshold? It’s a definition. What do you mean by threshold? A threshold for prosecution, investigation or what?

FishesaPlenty · 27/09/2018 20:20

How is that a threshold?

"a course of conduct must involve conduct on at least two occasions."

That's a threshold. One occasion is under the threshold, two occasions is over the threshold.

welshmist · 27/09/2018 20:25

I am wondering if the ex colleagues wife is on a fishing expedition, so is sending letters to flush her OH out?