To wonder if a man with slim exes would ever find a bigger woman attractive? Eager for male responses!

[UserGazillion]

I'm size 20 bottom and 18 top, pear shaped curvy with a relatively flat Mum Tum but with a muffin top which I try to hide, bra strap bulge etc. A guy I see occasionally has mostly had slim girlfriends size 8/10 apart from the mother of his child who was more a 12-14 and went to about an 18 after having their child and then lost the excess again.

He connected with me on social media but I can see why he would add me without being interested (business, career etc.). I locked eyes with him once inna social situation where there were around 20 people and it lasted that split second longer than normal and I wondered if he knew I was into him so felt embarrassed, but also felt like his gaze had lingered a bit too!!

Crush aside, I am working on losing weight and am naturally around a 14 but on a healthy lifestyle plan to get in the best shape I've ever been.

My ex was 'boyfriend goals' and would always tell me how I was naturally beautiful, how I was looking sexy and how I could have any man I wanted. This was throughout our ten year relationship and wether I was slimmer or larger. He is a fit attractive man, we are friends and I ended it so I am not rebounding if anyone thinks that! He was good to me but my self esteem never got better and even at a size 20 he would say this and I would think he was just patronising me to get laid later...

So, men (and women who want to answer!), have any of you had slim girlfriends mostly but still see a larger lady and find her attractive? Do you ever think 'pretty girl, shame about the body'?

I accept that there is an electrician of personal preference too and that noone can say what this other guy is thinking.


And be honest, I can handle it!

[EndeavourVoyage]

I think most people worth their salt would look beyond asthetics when engaging with someone. You are more that your clothes size, your muffin top and bra bulge. I would spend some time on your self esteem and stop thinking that you are a product to be admired for what you look like. Sorry if this sound harsh but your post really is quite sad.

[Dychmygol]

Not the audience you were asking for but...all of DH's previous girlfriends before me were slim and glamourous. Neither term could be applied to me. In fact his sister on first meeting me actually asked him what he could possibly see in someone like me!

We've been together 2 decades now so if my size and lack of glamour was a problem I'm sure I'd have discovered it by now. Also his sister is mortified that she said such a vacuous thing and that I know about it we get on perfectly well now.

[Rafflesway]

Sorry not a man but the following may help a little.

Many years ago I was engaged to a very handsome, slim guy.

I was also a very slim size 10 and took really good care of myself.

We were together for 6 years but he cheated several times. Could really have anyone he wanted. I finally dumped him and thankfully met my wonderful DH 2 years later.

However, several years later, ex went on to marry a very plain looking lady who was at least size 18. They have been married for over 25 years now and have 2 DD's who are both larger ladies. When I was with him, he was Uber critical of anyone over size 12 🤔.

This lady obviously tamed him as he seems to adore his family and he took HER surname when they married. (He hasn't worn very well though 😂). Obviously nothing to do with size! When it's right it just is!

[overagain]

I'm not male, but one of my best friends is. His significant ex was a size 10. But other than her he has only dated very large women (size 20+) and has stated that his ex was an anomaly in his 'type'. his current GF is very large and he says he finds her very attractive (physically and other).

So yes, it is possible.

[Branleuse]

My partner had an almost anorexic ex wife. Im more average sized and my weight has fluctuated massively and been an 18 at one point and its never seemed to affect his desire for me. I dont think men are as fickle or shallow as often assumed tbh

[ems137]

I don't think most men care too much about size.

I have had relationships with men of all shapes and sizes. From the super skinny to my now DH who is around 20 stone. I obviously realise he is overweight but it's an observation that bothers me about as much as what colour shoes he wears. I assume men will think the same way.

[Catscakeandchocolate]

I am v slim (size 4/6) and ex BFs DW is a size 26. I dont know her that well but she is funny, outgoing, friendly, bubbly and confident. Size is only one determination of attractiveness.

[Botanicbaby]

Imagine a man posting this same query. Sigh.

Yer size doesn’t matter, just smile a lot. And don’t give him any grief. He’ll love you then!

[Itsnotabingthingisit]

Man here!..

I love a woman with a bit of ' timber' on her!

It's really not true that men prefer slim or sporty women. They are often arrogant and self obsessed.

As long as someone looks after heir general appearance ( not unkempt , IYSWIM) then they can look very attractive no matter what size.

I'm a bigger man, and I think as long as I don't try and squeeze myself into outfits and styles that don't suite me..dress my weight if you will - then I can look quite decent.

[sunshinewithabitofdrizzle]

My exh always had skinny girlfriends before he met me. I was a slim size 10/12 when he met me (I was only 18 at the time) and over the years I put on weight and he hated it. He'd comment all the time about my weight and say things like "I love you but I'd love you more if there was less of you." He had 2 affairs (that I know of), both skinny women and the 2nd one he ultimately left me for and they're still together. She has a body like a prepubescent boy, no boobs or hips. Whereas I've always been more hourglass, even when slim, with both large hips and boobs. He obviously liked a straight up and down figure more than mine and left.