To have done this in a play area.......

[aManForAllReasons]

At a big, busy play area a few weeks ago with my 6yo DC when a distressed younger child (approx 3yo) came up to us, bawling their eyes out saying they'd lost their Mummy.

I comforted the child, had a good look around our immediate vicinity then took the child by the hand and went looking for their Mum. We found her quite quickly as she was looking for her child having become separated.

I thought no more about it until reading a thread on here where lots of people were saying under no circumstances should you ever touch a stranger's child. I thought, as adults, we have a collective responsibility for the safety and wellbeing of children.

What would you have done?

I had this in Ikea. A little boy came up to my DH & said something that neither of us heard properly & then wandered off. It didn't sit right with me so DH and I loitered to see where the little boy went. He was wandering around looking lost & getting a bit agitated. We went over and asked him if he was alright and he said he had lost his daddy. I admit I did feel like at any time his father might storm over and accuse us of trying to abduct his son. I also admit that I felt really uncomfortable and didn't touch him or hold his hand, I just bent down to speak to him. I feel bad now looking back that I wasn't more tactile.

We left him with an Ikea worker who we thought could make an announcement over the tanoy. He got reunited with his father because we saw them both later on in another part of the shop. I still half expected him to come bowling over and have a go at us!

That said I would do the same again. The little one was right by the entrance/exit & close to the escalator and lift. He could have wandered out or anything. If it had of been my nephew when he was little I would have liked somebody to help him. It is such a shame though that you might even think twice about intervening for fear of being accused of something.

where lots of people were saying under no circumstances should you ever touch a stranger's child

Really?
Where?
I think you’ve misinterpreted

But I wouldn't take the kid off the premises

I bloody well hope not.

Going against the grain but I wouldn't have done that.

I think it's the compassionate, morally right thing to do but I still wouldn't have. I'm too afraid of being accused of attempted abduction to lead someone else's child anywhere. Small, frightened children are not predictable and might not back you up when asked if they were lost or if the strange lady was helping them or taking them away.

When I've found lost children I've simply sat down with them and waited with them till the parent comes running over. And even then I was once asked 'what the fuck are you doing with my child?' ('sitting with her by the main entrance to the Tate Modern and stopping her heading off by herself into Trafalgar Square actually, you ridiculous woman!' )

Notsohorriblehistory, this is just one of many examples I could have chosen, not sure how this was misinterpreted -

I really disagree that it is okay for you to touch him, it absolutely isn't okay and not your place as a stranger

Yes but I need context!!

What was the thread?

I would do exactly the same as you and live in hope that if any of my children are ever lost and distressed, that someone would help and show them kindness too

When we lost one of our DC in a very busy place, I was hugely grateful to the man that held her hand and comforted her until we were reunited. Not once did it occur to me that he had anything in mind than kindliness.

It's a good idea if you find yourself in that situation to ask another member of the public to "witness" what is happening as it makes the likelihood of being accused of anything much less.

Yes you absolutely did the right thing. If it were mine, I would have thanked you for it.

I did it once - found a child wandering about on the pavement crying for Mummy, so I took her into a children's clothes shop that was nearby and she immediately spotted her Mum (who clearly hadn't even noticed she was gone). The Mum gave me a dirty look when I explained I'd found her outside. But I would do the same again, the alternative is leaving the child in danger.

Sorry notsohorriblehistory, as you were on it, I thought you'd recognise the post about the Mum going up a slide to stop a child (not hers) hitting others.

Granted, the context was entirely different but I was given pause for thought because some of the replies became a debate about whether or not it was ever ok to touch a strangers' child. Hence the example I gave.

I would have done the same thing. While worrying at the time that I was going to be accused of doing the wrong thing. I think you're right we do have a responsibility to keep kids safe. You did the right thing.

People who say not to touch children are bonkers. I think it’s creepy to conspicuously not touch them. It’s all about context.

I've done this before and a few different occasions.

One time my DD was playing with a girl in play area. The girl slipped off the monkey bars and hurt her back. She looked like a deer caught in head lights. I helped her get up and she looked really scared, so I asked her if she would like me to take her to her Grandma. She said yes and I lead her to her Grandma. The poor girl just wanted to affection and a cuddle better. The Grandma just told her she was being silly and was fine.

I always question a child I see that is alone and upset, to make sure they are okay, I don't even think about it.

I would do the same op.
A few years ago i was in the town center with my young son. A girl about 8/9 approached me upset, saying she was lost. So i stood still asked where she was last with mum . We were out of the main street so we walked toether into the main bit. Where she stood on a bench so ahe could see better. I gave us 20 mins to try and find her if not i would have taken her to police station which was just around the corner. All of a sudden she runs off, i follow quickly to find her in her mothers arms. Mum was on phone to police, she thanked me and i made my exit discreetly, as i didnt do it for gratitude. I would never leave a lost a child. How i handle it would be based on the circumstances at the time.

I would of done the same as you OP maybe even put my arm around them, I think most parents would be greatful and happy you comforted their child.

I think you were fine but that's not at all the same as approaching a child whose mother is there and reprimanding them while they are in distress. In the other thread the mother was seconds away from helping her child. There was no need to get involved let alone grab a child who might have special needs and is clearly struggling.

perhaps the converse to this is what to tell a child who is separated. I always told mine to go to an adult and not to leave the shop/area...

Of course you hold its hand, I might even pick it up so it can have a better look for its mum.