To want to cut my labia off?

[RedCanna]

I have name changed for this because [Apologies to Georgia O'Keeffe].

I don't mean do it at home with a pair of scissors, I mean have labiaplasty surgery.

I hate my labia minora, I always have; I remember being horrified the first time I ever properly looked at myself down there. They are big and long and hang down 3cm (yes I did actually measure them for the purpose of this thread!)

Some of my previous intimate partners have commented negatively about them and I always feel embarrassed by them. I've been single for years and the idea of getting naked in front of anyone ever again seems impossible. They also get in the way and become very sore sometimes.

But I count myself a feminist and fundamentally disapprove of the concept of women having unnecessary surgery in order to meet male expectations of how our bodies should look. I would be betraying my own ideals, wouldn't I?

This isn't about feminism

This is about your comfort

Look at it this way: if a bloke was in discomfort like this he would not think twice about getting it sorted

It's the Caitlin Moran school of thought Are the menz doing it ? (putting up with pain). No....and you should not either

Don't let your feminist ideals cut your nose off (iykwim)

Don't do it because you have slept with ungrateful idiots. But see a GP to see what can be done to help if they are sore. It might not need surgery and you should explore other options first but ultimately if they are healthy but still sore surgery is clearly an option.

I had labiaplasty. One was longer than the other and hung down a lot. It hot in the way during sex and got trapped when I wore tight trousers. It was a quick surgery and I was very pleased with the result (until I gave birth and now it's like a fucking car crash down there).

At the point I had it done, I had seen lots and of fannys so knew that they all looked different etc so it wasn't an issue of wanting to look like a porn star!

If they hurt I don't think that the surgery is unnecessary. That said they do seem like a useful tool for ascertaining which men you should dump.

If they are causing you discomfort and pain then you would be doing it for medical and not cosmetic reasons...

And any man that insults your genitals doesn't deserve to see them ever again...they sound like immature dickheads,...womens genitals are not all the same, there are lots of variety and all are normal, including yours...

If yours are causing you discomfort and pain then of course you can get them surgically treated....but don't ever change your genitals for a man, men who expect that are not ideal partners, they will always find flaws as it makes them feel better to put others down

Don't do it!

Surgery can and does GO WRONG! You cannot EVER guarantee the outcome you want! PLEASE I know from horrible horrible experiences

Discomfort at 3cm can be remedied if desired by wearing looser clothing, changing other lifestyle factors if necessary.

Those exes are porn-warped and

My heart's beating so fast I can't formulate this at all\

You can learn to love your labia! It's sad that so many of us have to learn to. We're all beautiful!

I’ve had this operation. There was a programme on TV called ‘Embarrassing bodies’ a few years ago which showed a woman with the same problem. Up until then I thought I was the only person who had this. It was embarrassing to talk about and my doctor wouldn’t do anything so I went private. It was literally so painful to get dressed each day, they would catch in clothes and wearing jeans could be excruciating. I have never regretted having it done

AnchorDown I'm not sure I can overcome it, I seem to be feeling more and more ashamed of them.

I can't afford it, I'd have to save for a few years. I don't suppose the NHS would fund it.

Exhaust ALL non-surgical avenues before ever letting anyone go near your labia with a knife
! Always!

I dunno, but your thread title has made my labia retract like a samurai's balls

It's a cliche, but that actually made tea come out of my nose

RedCanna see your GP. You'd be surprised. Mine was done on the NHS.

LoveYourLabia why should the OP have to adjust her lifestyle? Her labia can't be shortened any other way. It's not like first and exercise to lose weight.

If they are really impinging on your life then get a credit card and get it done

It would be a form of genital mutilation.

The problem is not with your labia it is a) with your choice in men and b) your low self esteem and shame which is projected onto a particular body part.

What you need is therapy and support. And to find a decent man who accepts as you are and as you would accept him.

It's not unreasonable to want to be able to wear things like skinny jeans though

Ahhh they don't need to be shortened!

You are asking why she should have to adjust her lifestyle

it isnt that she has to
but that doing so could remove the need for her to
BE

Incoherent

Thank you Shambu

Ronnie No words...

I'd strongly recommend that you see your provider about other options first.

Labia come in a variety of shapes and sizes, just the same as other parts of the body.

I know in Canada the SOGC does not recommend labiaplasty and I believe there are concerns about the safety of the procedure.

Your provider may be able to recommend something that would decrease the pain and make you more comfortable without resorting to surgery.

Shambu I'm really glad it isn't! Mine caused me pain and discomfort all day everyday for years and reduced my sexual enjoyment. Why shouldn't I be able to fix that if I want????

I have large labia and I've learned to love them. Probably way too much info but my husband says he loves the way they feel. I think you're problem is the men suck. Have you ever looked at a man's penis or balls and commented? Probably not because who cares? If they bother you talk to your doctor, but please don't feel ashamed of them.

@LoveYourLabia but a "lifestyle change" for me would have been not wearing underwear or trousers and never having sex. How is that a life?

overagain I was responding to OP in original posts not trying to make you feel bad for having surgery

@LoveYourLabia I assume you’ve name changed for this
All surgeries carry a risk, of course they do, but who’s to say labia surgery would be riskier than knee surgery

I think you need to think more about if it's foremost an appearance issue (you recently said you don't know if you can live with them as you feel ashamed) or more of a medical issue due to extreme discomfort. You yourself sound like you need lots of reassurance about it and that unfortunately, regardless of the physical implications, you have developed a big anxiety about them.

Keep an open mind about options. See the Doctor to discuss both the physical issues and how you feel. Ask about options and seek advice. Who know,s, there might be options to improve things without surgery. Sometimes surgery is needed for mental wellbeing issues as well as physical reasons.

Start by seeing the Doctor and take it from there.

But the OP is experiencing pain and discomfort too. So why shouldn't she have that fixed? You suggested it could be dealt with via a lifestyle change, but why should it?