Snooping mil

[barkisworsethanmybite]

Mil and I don’t get on. Husband asked asked her to come and check on our fish when away for a long weekend. I have previous use suspected mil has looked through my things when she’s been here but had no proof. So I set my lounge chest of drawers up so I’d know if she had been looking. She has!! Came home to find that they have been completely moved around, all documents out of their order, content of files all over the place etc. I’m fuming but feel validated that I’m not paranoid! I told husband who said he was annoyed with me (!) for setting traps. I said I did it because she has blatantly been through our things and needed proof, which I have. I’m so angry! Anyone else have experience of this? Dh won’t stop her coming over and sadly we have no one else who we can ask when we are away (which is very rare thankfully!)

Your husband is your biggest problem. That aside, I would confront her. What you did wasn't a trap unless she got herself caught in it - which she did! I would demand that she never have unsupervised access into your home ever again.

You can buy fish feeders that slow release for 3 or 7 days…

Next time leave a note in every single drawer that says "fuck off mil". If she sees it she can't be actively upset with you since that would involve admitting she was snooping in the first place. I've done this to my sister and it worked a charm. She never said a damn word about it but I know she saw them.

Get emigrate to australia documents and care home leaflets and leave them around to find 😁

Buy a few extreme vibrators too...

Buy a copy of Toxic In-laws and leave that where she can find it...

Get a Porte manteau with a key that you can lock for important paperwork human

Mn needs to set up a pet sitters service among us!! Waterproof marker inside the tank - and some piranhas!! My mil is a fucking snooper!!

Human? human

As has been suggested previously on threads about nosy MiL - get hold of some immigration papers for Australia, part fill them in, leave where she will find. That will give her something to worry about. Alternatively, when you next go to her house, have a good rummage through the drawers. She will ask what you are doing and you can say something like, well you found the contents of our chest of drawers fascinating while we were away, thought I might do the same. You need to sort your husband out while you're at it. I wonder how keen he would be for your DM to rummage through his personal papers.

Get a lockable filing cabinet for your important and confidential documents, and make sure you keep the keys where MIL can’t get hold of them. Place a large sheet of paper in the drawers she likes to look through before you go away, with “FUCK OFF MIL, STAY OUT OF OUR PRIVATE THINGS”. I remember a friend doing similar because her young SIL had a habit of sneaking a look in their bedroom drawers. Of course she couldn’t say anything because that would be admitting to having done it, but at least she knew they were aware of what she had done.

I think you need to confront her. I would also look at setting as many 'traps' as possible for next time whilst locking away anything personal. Eg: Fill a drawer with glitter. Get the toxic in-laws book and put it 'away'. Ditto emigration documents and lots of kinky sex toys. Since your dh isn't supportive, maybe a book on dealing with erectile dysfunction...? Just some thoughts. It can be helpful to imagine these things even if you don't follow through.

Get some really juicy, incriminating stuff to put in there, maybe mock up a prison record and letters from your probation officer, a bank statement enormously overdrawn, use your imagination!

I'd have fun with it and leave a trail of 'clues' leading to a copy of Toxic In-Laws.

A poster many years ago put a glitter bomb in her drawer and then removed the fuse from the hoover. They also left immigration forms in the drawer.

Have locks fitted to relevant rooms. Bedroom too. If she’s that nosy, she’ll be going through your underwear too. Horrible, I couldn’t live like that.

It's not exactly a trap if things are so very obviosly not as you left them, is it? Some means of locking stuff away? You really don't have a neighbour more trustworthy than a snooping MIL?

Make an 'invitation' to a royal event and see how long she can keep quiet about it.

Change the locks and hire a pet sitter!

Get some care home leaflets and put some post it notes on them making it look like you’ve been checking them out in order to ship her off to one in the not so distant future.

I've hidden bank statements in our bed before, they never look there!!

The glitter bomb is genius! Also I’d randomly drop into conversation that you’re paranoid there’s a poltergeist as paperwork and drawer contents keep getting shuffled around so you’ve installed some pin-head cameras around the place. “Oh wouldn’t you believe it’s happened again! I can’t wait to check the cctv! I’ll give Derek Acorah a call!”

My friend did the glitter bomb. She folded her paperwork and put glitter installed we all the folds which obviously went everywhere and as she had taken the fuse out of her hoover there was no way to hide that her mil had been snooping.

Thanks all! I am angry but feel strangely calm because it has validated my feelings and confirmed I’m not paranoid. For those who say confront, what do I say? She will obviously deny it and I’ve not videod her doing it so have no categorical proof. I’m not going to say how I trapped the drawers incase she is reading this 😬

@Fluffyears AMAZING