Worried about going away and DP staying home. Why?

[Carlita23]

Feeling weird. Going away for a few days with my mum. I'm pregnant (nearly 35 week) and DP has text twice asking 'when are you leaving?' and 'what time did you say you were leaving?' in the pay couple of days whilst at work.

DP has never given me any reason to feel like he's going to cheat, or do anything I wouldn't want him to, but I just have this weird gut feeling something isn't right. I have NO idea why as he hasn't actually given me reason to think this.

I feel guilty for feeling like this. I'm blaming it on hormones and quietly feeling ashamed of myself for even thinking this.

We haven't had sex in months which is another reason I think I'm feeling like this. I feel really unattractive and mentally exhausted and want to know how I can get this stupid thought of him cheating out of my head.

Do I sound completely nuts? Am I awful for even thinking this?

I've never been a paranoid person but for some reason I just feel a bit odd

If it’s any consolation I would be saying the same to my DH and it’s not because I am cheating (or ever would) but because much as I love and adore him it’s a nice treat to have time to myself now and then, and I meticulously plan the time that he is away. I wonder if it’s the same for your DH? He isn’t cheating, he’s just thinking about how he will spend his ‘me’ time

I feel so embarrassed writing this as I have genuinely never wondered about whether he would cheat before. I feel like a bloody awful person for even thinking it.

Hmmm, have you asked him why it's so important. Tell him you don't know.

Trust your gut instinct. It might be nothing but you know him well and think it's odd. Keep an eye on him to spot anything else unusual and be vague on your timings.

Deep down I feel like I'm being ridiculous and will laugh when I get home. My self esteem is low and all over him asking about when I'm going. It's just a weird nagging thought I have...

Maybe he's planning on doing some decorating while you're gone and is trying to plan it so the paint arrives in time but not too early / his good-with-a-roller best mate can maximise every second of your absence / the crew from that garden / house makeover programme can turn up......!

Are you SURE there aren't other reasons for your suspicion? Has be been acting out of character, is he on his phone more or secretive with it? Is he dressing differently, has he been working late or going out more than usual? Whatever. I'm not saying he is planning to cheat, but I don't think you should necessarily dismiss your gut feelings, either.

There's literally nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I’d be tempted to tell him you’re leaving earlier than you are... 10am instead of midday for example and see how he reacts when you’re still there...

@Merryoldgoat he'll be at work all day and I have a train booked. Feel like I'm just stressing myself out over nothing. I think I'm shocked by it as in the years we have been together I have never felt like his.

It could just be that he’s looking forward to flubbing out in an empty house with a takeaway and shite on telly but I’m projecting because that’s what I do every time DP works away. I’ve currently got an empty house, DP at work, DCs at grandad’s and I’m thoroughly enjoying sitting on my fat arse doing hee has buckshee

I think that gut instinct is very strong. However pregnancy hormones are an equal force. Has he been secretive with his phone etc?

@TulipsInBloom1 nope not secretive. He gave me his phone yesterday to google something as mine was dead and in the car whilst he had a shower. I just looked it up then put it down. Didn't even think twice about it.

Perhaps he’s hoping you’ll be home for a parcel delivery!

My OH is absolutely useless at remembering information I give him, he says he listens but doesn't retain it, I say he doesn't listen in the first place. But that's exactly what he would do, ask me repeatedly what time I may be going somewhere/what my plans are because he forgets. If you have no other reason to be suspicious, could it be something like that? Hopefully you have nothing to worry about

I suspect this is nothing, but just stay aware. And have a lovely holiday

What a horrid feeling. I have friends who always suspect their partner is up to something and they are genuine fears rather than a silly thought. Mug be exhausting!

Maybe he wants to have an early finish, and either get home to see you off, or get back after you've left to begin his 'me' time (sort of thing I'd do).. Assuming it's daytime you're leaving?If it's evening, maybe he wants to get himself psyched up for a tasty take away?Ask him why it's important/tell him you don't know or the time might change?

You are heavily pregnant, probably not sleeping great, tired, hormonal and emotional. All these feelings are normal and natural because you are not interested in having sex. You may be worried about being apart so close to your due date. Please try not to worry. At a guess, I would suspect he is planning a lovely surprise for your return - a new cot/painting the nursery/a treat for you on your break away or organising a lads night out before the baby arrives. My advice would be: stay well away from the relationships board on mn. Talk to your DP about how you feel. He has never given you any reason to worry in the past and sounds like a good guy. Enjoy your time away with your DM.

I'm afraid I'd tell him I was leaving much earlier than I intended going, then watch to see if he starts fidgeting. But I've been in a position where I ignored 'slightly odd' behaviour, to my cost.

Maybe he's arranging to meet his mates for drinks. My DH always takes the opportunity while I'm away to go out.

Presumably he's free to go out for a drink with friends when you're away anyway? What did he have planned?

He goes out fur drinks with his mates all the time. He doesn't ask, just says 'I'm going out for a drink tonight with so & so'.

HAve you asked him why he wants to know what time you are leaving?

I'd be suspicious, but then I was married to a cheating cock womble. Just talk to him. Tell him your fears (not in an accusatory way, just that you're feeling vulnerable) and then see how he reacts. I think you will know if he's being straight with you. Good luck OP