Have you ever done this on a bus?

[MrsHoodwink]

Not really an AIBU but I really need to know. If the bus is empty except for a couple of people, have you ever sat down directly next to someone? And if so why

I mean a stranger obviously, and if this has happened to you what (if anything) did you say to that person?

I can’t comprehend the logic in it at all So far I’ve just sat silently wondering why me but in the future think I might say something!

This doesn’t include people with disabilities that have no social boundaries or would like to be close to someone (maybe due to fear or anxiety), I can totally respect that.

A little bit different, but campsites in Iceland are strange. If you park first, everyone parks next to you, even though there might be tons of space and at some campsites we were a long way from the toilet blocks! At one campsite we had our camper in the middle of two other campers (respectful distance), and then at 10pm at night cars arrived and people pitched their tents all around and in between the three campers ( we could barely squeeze out). OK, it was a very windy and cold night. But come on!

I go to the supermarket very early, parked in a totally empty section. Regardless whole car car park is very quiet. Putting some shopping in my back seat so have the trolley in the empty spot next to me (as are the next 10 spots). Woman then honks at me so she can park in that spot, then gives me fucking evils and then asks me if I am leaving (obviously putting stuff in my car) and seems more annoyed - assume her car must get lonely.

I wonder if you just happen to be in a particularly good seat, ie not over a wheel, near to the buzzer or just a few steps away from the door for quick get away. Possibly you're in their favourite seat, who knows.

I agree the woman was unreasonable sitting next to you if she didn't like to watch you eat, and there were plenty of other seats, but eating a steak bake (or anything but a sweet or a bag of crisps) on a bus is disgusting. I eat on the bus all the time if I'm in a rush and it's not a stinking, inconvenient mess. I have no problem with people eating on it unless they're chucking it all over the floor/seats.

Happens to me all the time. The worst was on a near empty train and the bloke started chatting me up. I just got up and asked him to move them went to a busier carriage. Totally creepy.

It also happened to me in the cinema once. I moved and then he did too! Then he fell asleep on my shoulder so I moved again- home!

My gran would have done that. She was perfectly lovely/harmless but she did love a chat. If someone got on an empty bus and deliberately sat away from her she'd have thought they were most unfriendly. She was from North which one does make a big difference in these encounters. (at least it did then, c. 20 years ago)

I used to commute between Cardiff and Bristol on a local train back in the early 90s. It was a 'bus' on tracks, it was that old! When we went through the Severn tunnel the lights wouldn't work, so it was pitch dark. Some creepy AF(one day) chose at that moment to try and sit next to me. I gave him a earful of screaming in his ear. He soon buggered off. When we got out the tunnel he was sat at the back rubbing his ear. Not sure what he was trying to do int he dark, but I moved to a busier carriage.

During the recent hot weather I was sat by the window on seat designed for 2 people (train) merrily minding my own business (dripping with sweat 😓) and an elderly couple BOTH sat down on the 1 seat next to me only they obviously couldn’t both fit. After 5 minutes of having my ribs prodded by her elbows I had to shoe horn my way out to the near empty carriage. CF’ers

If someone tried to sit down next to me for a second time after I’d already moved to escape them I think I’d lose all Northern politeness I may have I wonder what would happened if we point blank said to them “excuse me, why have you chosen to sit next to me?”

Men do it to intimidate and get a kick

The thing is though its not always men or old ladies, Ive had it with all types of people. A man even sat next to my 10 year old brother once despite many empty seats.

I only had this happen as a teenager with middle aged pervs, so alarm bells would ring if some weirdo did it to me now. I always have a bag with me, so when I’m alone I seat it next to me and only make room once the rest of the bus is full enough to make it less likely I have to sit next to a man.

No,I've never done this but I've had it done to me a few times. Extremely annoying,as inevitably the reason they've sat next to me is because they want someone to talk to. Sorry if that sounds nasty,but after experiencing some of the topics of conversation from random strangers,I'm reluctant to get involved with them now! Subjects include 'bloody foreigners','how much I love living in this country because the benefit system is so generous',and 'where are you from? You're English? Are you sure? You look Polish'. Um yes,I think I know what nationality I am!

Just remembered another one,not on a bus but at the cinema. My DD and her DH had gone to the cinema. The auditorium was three quarters empty,so there were plenty of free seats. They sat in the back row with one empty seat between them to put their bag of snacks on. A man came along and asked to get past my DD. She duly stood up to let him pass,thinking he wanted to make his way to a seat further along the row. To their utter disbelief and bemusement,this guy started trying to sit on the vacant seat in between them! It was only after my son-in-law had said 'I don't think so mate' that he went to sit elsewhere. My DD said he seemed genuinely surprised that they didn't want some random stranger sitting in between them!

You know wossername, don’t you ? The one with the hair.

A woman who often gets the same bus as me to work specifically likes to sit in one particular seat no matter how packed the bus is. I was sat in it one day and she sat next to me. I huffed a bit but said nowt. Next day, I had a particularly heavy bag to take to work, it was between Christmas and new year so much, much less busy in the bus. Bus gets to her stop, she gets on and actually tries to move my bag! I I called her out on that one, asking her why she has to sit next to me when there are so many empty seats to choose from! She still gets on the same bus as me sometimes but she doesn't try sitting next to me any more 😂

This is like people who go into an empty car park and park right next to the only car that's there 😊

Actually this reminds me of a man who often gets the same train as me. He has a seat he HAS to sit in and he stands at a particular place on the platform, calculated in advance so he can get through the doors and get to HIS seat.

In the past, I've got there first and happened to have been standing at that spot on the platform when the train comes in - genuinely by chance - and he's literally pushed right in front of me in his determination to get to HIS seat.

One day, in a spirit of devilment, I got on and sat next to him. He almost exploded with silent rage. In my defence, there weren't lots of other empty seats (busy train), and he is a twat.

Or how about fast food places.

I ordered my food,i had my 3 kids with me. We got a seat,the place was empty.Got called to get the food,came back and theres a strange fella sitting in my seat.

It was one of them little tables that seats 4.

Who in their right mind sits at a table with 3 kids.They where 2,4 and 5 or something.There are some weird people out there.

I soon moved him though.Even the kids thought it was funny.

Ah, the bag on seat thing. Clearly lots of us agree it's a good idea to put these creeps, weirdos etc from sitting next to you in a virtually empty bus / carriage etc. But I've seen many threads where people rant that women who put their bags on a seat are CFs and committing a huge crime. I don't understand people who go up to said women and demand they remove their bag when there are plenty of other seats, seems like making a point and looking for confrontation to me. I will remove my bag if I see seats are filling up. If I didn't notice it was MNing in my phone if asked politely I will also gladly move it. If someone marches up and rudely demands I move it when there are loads of seats free to make a point, I will not. Same for passive-aggressive comments to others, ooo has her bag paid for a seat, fuck off. I have even had idiots just pick up my bag. I'm a person. Just ask nicely if I mind moving it.
I have mh issues and sometimes really can't cope with someone sitting next to me, ok my issue,but I don't understand why some people would actively choose to sit next to someone if they don't have to, or are looking for a confrontation.
Funny how the vigilantes aren't asking 6ft rugby player blokes not to manspread making it impossible to fit in the seat next to them, or suited commuter blokes to move their laptop or case from a seat, isn't it. No, pick on a 5ft innocuous woman. Public space is very much a feminist issue.

When I was 20 I was in a nearly empty carriage on the train near Paris. Boiling hot summer day. A very large man (tall and fat) wearing a black overcoat buttoned right up to his chin got up and sat down right next to me, very close. I sat there dithering wondering whether to move, and then he put his hand on my knee. I elbowed him in the ribs, leaped up and sat opposite because I didn't want to take my eyes off him. He looked mortified and got off at the next stop. Fucker.

Ah yes, and a woman out in public alone shouldn't dare to take up a whole table in a coffee shop etc either. I also get this a lot. I need to get tattoos.

I think I can tell you why if nobody has already done this in previous posts.

Two different brains or conditionings. Person 1 walks in and sees the seating pattern as defined by the person who is already there being the start of lining up users and methodically using each space 1 by 1. So they add to the pattern as the next in the queue (to use the resource). Meaning they use the space closest to the existing user.

Person two comes in and sees the space as a whole to be used by filling up from the biggest unused space. And as the unused spaces get smaller and smaller thus the bus/carpark is filled.

Two distinctly different approaches to use up a space. Both an interesting reflection on the person who chooses either of them.

A few years ago I was having lunch in a crowded cafe, there weren't any empty tables so I asked a woman sitting on her own at a table for four if there was a space. She said yes so I said Thankyou, it's very busy today, sat down and started to eat my lunch. Did not engage her in further conversation.

All of a sudden she leans across the table and says, quite loudly.

"The last person to sit in your space was VERY interesting. Very interesting indeed. I enjoyed HER company. It's a shame she left. She knew a great deal about trees in Nigeria."

Then she carried on drinking her tea. I checked her to make sure she didn't have a sharp object in her hand, finished my lunch and left pretty smartish.

I avoid random strangers now, but I do have a list of interesting topics to talk about if I am ever trapped with a stranger with no escape , say in a broken down cable car.