Have you ever done this on a bus?

[MrsHoodwink]

Not really an AIBU but I really need to know. If the bus is empty except for a couple of people, have you ever sat down directly next to someone? And if so why

I mean a stranger obviously, and if this has happened to you what (if anything) did you say to that person?

I can’t comprehend the logic in it at all So far I’ve just sat silently wondering why me but in the future think I might say something!

This doesn’t include people with disabilities that have no social boundaries or would like to be close to someone (maybe due to fear or anxiety), I can totally respect that.

I hate this. Why??? do people do it!
Also I like to park in the empty furthest-away row in the supermarket car park so that I can open my doors and piddle about when I put the shopping in the car. Someone always parks NEXT to me even though the rest of the row is empty.

it's worse when they come and sit next to you then start a bloody conversation!!!! Drives me up the wall - that bus time is my idle time, no child, no family, just me & my daydreaming......

And it's frigging weird

It fucks me off if someone even sits down within three rows of me on a quiet/empty bus.

I would be quite unable to control myself if they actually sat down next to me (FFS!!). 🥊🥊🥊

I was making a train journey not long ago and realised that there was an entire unreserved carriage that literally nobody was sitting in (the seat reservation system always crams everyone together into a couple of carriages).

So I went and sat in it, blissfully alone, thinking how great this was. Quiet. Undisturbed.

A woman comes in with a small-ish child - 5 or so. Walks past all the many, many rows of empty seats - dozens to choose from - and settles.....in the seats exactly across the aisle from me.

Batshit.

I got up and moved.

It happened to me when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. A couple of times men sat next to me and put there arm round me/head on my shoulder/hand on my leg. I'd never put up with it now, I would get up, make a scene, shout or whatever but I was young and scared. Creepy fuckers.

I have, but only when the only person sat on the bus is inexplicably in the space right by the buggy space (even though they have no buggy or luggage) and I have my buggy with me.

I've done this once, but only because due to the seat positions and the few already occupied seats the only way I would view the screen which told me which stop we were approaching, was to sit next to someone else.

They are maybe the same people who, in an empty gym, will come and use the treadmill next to you.....when there are around another 19 to choose from. And then grunt and sweat and smell - not jealousy

Ok cross-posted... I type far too slowly.

So maybe it's like parking, people think if the space is occupied it must be the best space there?

I don't drive yet, but it's always gotten me when you park your car in an virtually empty carpark and someone goes an park's right next to you

makes me feel safer when returning to car, especially at night

It happened to me when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. A couple of times men sat next to me and put there arm round me/head on my shoulder/hand on my leg. I'd never put up with it now, I would get up, make a scene, shout or whatever but I was young and scared. Creepy fuckers.

And that is why when you get on, you find a normal looking person who looks and smells like they've showered at some time in the past week and you sit next to them even if there are other completely free seats there. Then those creepy guys can't get on and sit next to you.

Definitely odd. Although I have sat next to a girl on her own on the late drunk bus before, because I think I’d have wanted that when I was younger. Before phones, I quite liked to talk to people who seemed nice to stop the ones that didn’t seem as nice getting in.

That happened to me in a car park recently. Not only was the large car park half empty, but my car door was open as I was fetching things out! Didn’t stop the strange person sliding into the space leaving a tiny gap for me and my door!

Why do people do this?!

No I wouldn't do that and I hate when other people do it.

Same as in the cinema... recently I took the DC to see a film and the cinema was pretty empty - maybe 30 of us spread around the room. Just before the film starts two women come in and sit down right next to me - chatting loudly and eating sweets with noisy wrappers.... why do people do that?

Being British I didn't move because I didn't want to appear rude

I haven’t.

The only times it’s happened to me have been disgusting men taking advantage of the social norm that suggests I can’t object because they can technically sit where they like and haven’t technically done anything wrong yet.

I don’t allow it after the first time and something awful happened.

I don’t give a shit if it offends someone. If they are about to sit down I say ‘sorry, you can’t sit here’ and if they say anything I say ‘there are lots of seats free’ and if they sit there anyway (which has happened) I get up and move myself elsewhere.

There is NO good reason for somebody to do this. Our social norm is well established that you do not force yourself next to a stranger if there are plenty of seats available. Do not let the fear of seeming rude stop you from moving if someone does this or preventing them from doing it.

I’ve had some horrible experiences with men taking advantage of me being a sole female in an empty bus or train carriage and I absolutely won’t allow it anymore.

If someone gets offended it shows they had nefarious intentions for it to mean that much to them. And frankly, I don’t care for their feelings.

No I don’t do this because it’s weird as fuck.

Don't come to Yorkshire.
If you get on a bus you are obliged to chat. If there's only one person on the bus, that's who you are chatting to.

I’ve lived in Yorkshire my entire life. I’ve never chatted on a bus or witnessed it between strangers.

And that’s not what OP is talking about.

Yes, very very weird. I tend to sit on the aisle seat unless it's packed.

The worst CF I had a couple of years ago on the way home from work - I was on the bus with about 5 other people, sat half way up and was eating a steak bake. Some woman got on, sat next to me the had the audacity to complain about my eating - she was a vegetarian and it was making her feel sick. I sat there completely dumbstruck and all I could mutter was 'but you chose to sit next to me' (I really wish I had told her and her nerve to swiftly fuck off). She didn't move.

When I was a much younger woman, I had a man do this to me on a 2 hour bus journey. Then try repeatedly to engage me in conversation, totally ignoring my very clear non-commital . monosyllabic answers which anyone with any social graces would have clearly interpreted as "leave me alone".

Eventually he made me so uncomfortable I said "I do not want to sit next to you. I am now going to move seats. I do not want you to follow me."

Absolutely creepy as fuck. Men who overstep women's boundaries this way are always creepy as fuck. It's not that they don't know what they're doing, they know exactly what they're doing and are getting a kick out of deliberately overstepping normal social boundaries in a way that's very difficult for a woman to call out unless she's prepared to make a scene (which we're all conditioned not to do).

Why the hell would your average bus traveler do that?

I've never done this; I 'm with the rest of you, determinedly anti-social and jealously guarding my personal space Agree it probably is a cultural thing.

Tiddler That's so rude! Something similar happened to me, I was on the bus with toddler ds in his pushchair and was sitting on one of the front seats facing him. I leant towards him to deal with something he needed - literally just bent forward, lifting my bum off the seat - and a man barged me out of the way and sat down. When I objected he said he was allowed because I wasn't actually sitting on the seat!

None of us seem to have an answer for why people do this. Perhaps next time it happens one of us should ask the offender and post it here!

I had someone do this not too long ago on a very quiet train at night. I was baffled but when I mentioned it to someone else afterwards they suggested that she might have been nervous for one reason or another and perceived me as a 'safe' person to sit with.

Had it happen with a drunk man on a daytime bus once as a teenager. I was afraid he'd follow me if I moved, so I actually got off the bus and walked the rest of the way.

Very different situations.

Same with car parks. It's empty and some nugget parks right next to you.

Haha, I can see why that might happen though - it's like Sheldon's perfect spot. You've obviously parked in the most convenient position in the car park.

I did it on South West trains recently. I wanted to sit in a sideways on seat and the cleanest looking seat happened to be next to someone else! They did have a space to the right of them and I had a space to the left!

I was in a very quiet airline lounge not long ago. It was literally just me and the staff, huge lounge, hundreds of seats.

In troops a massive family with 3-4 kids all playing their ipads out loud, all different stuff.

OF COURSE they sat down right next to me

I very blatantly moved seats (had to make a couple of trips to carry bags, laptop etc), but they seemed oblivious.