To hate those “Mother” / “Mama” / “Mutha” sweatshirts / jumpers?!

[jaffacakemonster]

Those jumpers emblazoned with the words “Mother” / “Mama” / “Mutha” etc. that seem to have been around for a couple of years now – am I alone in finding them just beyond annoying? I find them just unbearably smug, contrived, attention-seeking, cringeworthy… especially as I am currently (desperately) TTC. I think they are kind of rubbing my nose in it a bit, I could be over-sensitive, but aside from that, I just think they are DEEPLY uncool anyway and I would not be seen dead in one! Just smacks of wanting to look like an instamum to me. ABIU?

you must be new here @DoubleFunMum

I have a t shirt that says MUTTON.

Having seen SM's Instagram rant in the recommended bit, and having a snoop around her page. I've gone from thinking they're not my style to seeing them as smug. Especially the boycott the high street crap.

I also thought that for a £60+ sweater, more than £5 would be donated from each sale. Patrick Grant, who owns Community Clothing, said in a recent TED talks that you can make a tshirt in the UK, in 4 minutes, using less than £1 worth of labour. I accept that a sweater, printed with a slogan will take slightly more. The majority of the marketing for them is free, or at least very cheap, using social media, and instamums. I'd much rather buy a jumper from a company I like, or make it myself, for less and give more to charity.

@youwereright there’s nothing to indicate these were ethically sourced and it would seem the good ethos is simply the charity donation and supporting a (not so) small brand. Fair play to her, but now it’s so successful it would be good to donate more or look at ethically sourcing and not just charging for the brand. If she’s raised £800000 for charity, she’s a very wealthy lady.

@Mightymousie I clearly missed that, I must have assumed they were ethically produced in the UK. Perhaps I'd been reading about another brand? Ah well, their charity donation USP is clearly working for them at least.

I agree that she should not be posting about this thread; I don't understand that. It makes her, a successful business woman, seem very fragile and defensive. If you're out in the public forum, you have to suck up criticism.

FWIW, I applaud anyone who makes their own way. Good luck to her. That said - with a background in brands/advertising - and living locally to her, so having seen her grow - I have to say a) I have never understood the brand. Never. It feels utterly confused to me. b) I have always felt quite strongly that it must be upsetting for those trying to conceive to see all these mums walking around in 'Mother' tops. It just doesn't make sense to me at all.

But that's very personal.

For those who want a Mam top, they do exist!

I like the look of the jumpers it’s all very nice if you live in your own bubble and sweep around the house in them but having a friend who just had a hysterectomy at age 30 amd spent thousands on IVF I’d be a prize cunt to turn up to lunch with her with a mama jumper on .
I think these instagram Mum businesses need to understand making a business out of literally being a parent isn’t going to be to everyone’s taste .

Ffs. Motherhood in the UK seems to be this bundle of conflicting expectations. Our husbands and partners are all supposed to appreciate and see how hard it is to be the primary caregiver and value the input that is to the family unit. If we return to work our employer is supposed to make certain allowances to changes in work hours. There are posts upon post of women supporting eachother through the hardest days motherhood on MN. Everyone is expected to understand how tired you are. But God forbid ant woman actually show pride about being a mother while supporting a charity for women! It's SO uncool/showy/cringy to be at all proud of being a mother. Argh. It really pisses me off! No it doesn't need to be the only part of your identity but it is part of your identity and a fucking amazing one at that so why is it so terrible to embrace it publicly? I view these jumpers as an act of saying 'im not ashamed, Motherhood is fucking hard and I'm going to celebrate that I'm doing it.'

You don't have to like the fashion choice itself but most of these posts are about the message that they believe the mother is putting out about herself and that is what is being judged.

Other places I've experienced seem to have a much less conflicting view of motherhood. In the states it generally seems to be okay to be proud of your family.

OP I fully see why it would cause you upset at this point but upset isn't the same as judging people which you are also doing. Why do you think they are uncool for celebrating the exact thing you want so badly?

@WingsofNylon - my dislike of the jumpers has very little to do with me wanting to hide the fact I’m a mother! But I think my previous posts have already explained why I find them cringe so I won’t get into all that again.

From memory I think the charity donation from the jumpers used to be £10 but donation has now reduced to £5 but jumper price remains the same (I could be wrong on that).

@WingsofNylon
Well put. I completely agree.

it’s really not that deep. I don’t like slogans that say “mum”, “mother” etc just like I don’t like bags that say “yummy mummy” & back in the 90s I also hated slogans such as “babe” or “pornstar in training”.

I just saw someone wearing a Mama one, and it reminded me of this thread. I get the OP, when they first started appearing I found myself thinking how much they would have upset me when I was struggling to conceive. I’m pretty sure back then they woulda have felt like a kick in the teeth, like the wearers were all part of a lovely club I was locked out of.

I don’t feel that way now, but I find them a bit odd. I’m willing to bet almost all of the women who wear them have babies or young children, I can’t imagine many parents of teens walking around with Mama on their chests.

She's removed all the comments on her Insta post which I also think is a bit shitty, seeing as lots of people had taken their time to support her.

Well done for spectacularly missing the point @wingsofnylon

I got one for mother’s day. It was my first mother’s day as a mother after a very very long time desperate to be a mother. I wear it because I love that I am a mother. I get that if you’re TTC then maybe it’s a kick in the teeth but for me I found seeing pregnant women and women with small babies much harder to deal with than a word on a jumper.
Personally I think a lot of fashion these days is utterly ridiculous but I let people wear what they want without making a big song and dance about it. I’d rather spend £50 on a jumper with £5 going to charity than £5000 on a ugly handbag but that’s just me 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have only seen a 'mutha' one thought it was a pre curser to rude word and was some hip street brand.

Didn't even know they did 'mother' or 'mamma' ones for charity.

Wouldn't wear one of those.

WingsofNylon perfectly put.

The switching off of comments is very telling, isn’t it? I’d be interested in what her explanation for it is because I know what it looks like to me and it doesn’t put the business in a great light. TBH, if Molly, the owner of SM wanted to control/shutdown the conversation, she should probably have just got rid of the whole post (which wasn’t v professional in the first place), not just pretend the comments didn’t happen.

I was supportive of her efforts (and people’s right to wear or like whatever they choose) but this just makes her look petty. Not very professional. Especially when, as others have said, it is slagging off the BIGGEST parenting forum in the UK, where there are lots of existing and potential customers for her clothing line. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot .

It's interesting that she has removed the comments from her Instagram, where there seemed to be quite a few posts pointing out that slagging off all forum users wasn't necessarily fair, especially as many on this thread had defended the tops, but the comments on the duplicate Facebook post, which were all of the cheerleading variety, are still there. I agree that, if I were her, I would have removed the posts altogether. They were clearly written in anger and were not necessarily professional or wise.

I think the jumpers are a bit naff not that I can afford £60 on a jumper to declare to the world that I am a mother.

I think slagging off forums and their users was a bit of an own goal from SM, many people use online forums during pregnancy and in the first few months of motherhood as a support tool, you don’t slate the people your product is aimed at. Some of the small brands liking her post are brands which are raved about on forums, a bit daft of them to support a post which looks down on them.

They are pretty bad. But I don’t get the pp going on about not being proud to be a mother. People don’t need a big lettered sweatshirt and an IG account to prove they are. No one’s hiding it. It’s pretty obvious when you walk around with a baby etc

The whole thing is nuts.

Also why ‘mama’ all the time. Chances are children don’t even use this term. So irritating.

Depends where you live I think, in the playground I hear mainly 'mama' or 'mummy' from under 5s. Only a few of the older ones use 'mum'

Ffs @wingsofnylon I’ve never seen these as celebrating motherhood or ever seen them as anything so deep. They are just trendy jumpers worn by middle class mums. That’s literally all there is too it. Her latest one is ‘human’ should we all celebrate being human?
Of course not everyone will like them and of course some people will think they are cheesy and smug. It’s a £60 jumper with a slogan.
It has nothing to do with sharing to the world that motherhood is hard and solidarity for women.
A woman had an idea. It took off. Raised money for charity. Made her successful. Someone on here finds them a bit of a painful reminder of her ttc, posts and people pot either really liking them or not. It’s not really that deep.

Mummy all the way here