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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children "starting school"?

147 replies

Jinglesplodge · 23/09/2018 19:51

So I need to know if I ABU - this one is really petty but it's starting to annoy me...

AIBU to find it irritating when people talk about their children going to school when they're talking about 2 or 3 year olds and they mean nursery or preschool? I can't even put my finger on why it bothers me but I just think kids spend enough years in school without telling them that's what they're doing at 2. Twice this weekend I've been chatting to friends who have said something along the lines of "oh, we wanted to do swimming lessons but Quentin is in school" or "I can't believe Susan is starting school next week".

I think I'm just tired and grumpy but I'd love to hear I'm not the only one!

OP posts:
StripyHorse · 23/09/2018 22:17

Totally right Professor.

I taught nursery / reception last year. I am a qualified teacher. It was the same classroom, so yes, anyone calling it school is well within their rights. It is also OK to call it nursery because that was the year group.

Planning for nursery children is much more play based but still looks at developing their skills in the different areas of learning (so is formal planning in that respect). It is NOT playgroup.

CatLadyToddlerMother · 23/09/2018 22:39

If you ask my 3 year old where she goes on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday she says School.

She goes to a preschool run by a private nursery, I've never told her it's school she just says it is.

MyHusbandSaysIHave1000MNNames · 23/09/2018 22:42

Geez there really is no end to the petty things people will nitpick on here is there?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/09/2018 22:47

My dh would often irritate me by frequently referring to Gdcs' 'school' when they were still only 1 and 2 and attending a very good nursery. Or 'daycare' if anyone prefers that - probably more accurate a term for very little ones.

Poodletip · 23/09/2018 22:51

Yanbu.
There's nursery and / or pre-school then school reception year.

This ^

HesterMacaulay · 23/09/2018 22:58

Planning for nursery children is much more play based but still looks at developing their skills in the different areas of learning (so is formal planning in that respect). It is NOT playgroup.

The planning requirements of the EYFS apply to all forms of funded provision whether it's a nursery class or a church hall preschool. If a "playgroup" is funded early education it will be providing exactly the same opportunities and experiences as the nursery class at a school.

I much prefer the term playgroup because (as you say) the EYFS is learning through play.
Round here, being in the nursery class of a school does not mean the child will necessarily go on into reception. The admissions process for school is totally separate.

HesterMacaulay · 23/09/2018 22:59

Sorry OP I forgot to say YANBU

mummyhaschangedhername · 23/09/2018 23:12

🤦‍♀️ well given that a school is defined as any institution that provides education then I think YABU. like others, out nursery is at the school, in Wales most nursery's are part of the school. When my child attended "nursery" they were part of the school, same building, same uniform, and same assembly. Many offer wrap around, so they can attend the entire school day too.

I do find it weird if someone calls what is essentially a stand alone nursery or preschool a school, although technically it could be, but for some nursery attending children there isn't much of a difference.

In my case they were very much part of the school, the same head teacher, same parents evening, even still had a letter for poor attendance (even though legally they are not required to attend), the same costs such as fruit money. They very very much feel part of the school, so the children call it school, it would seem weird in this case to separate it. No darling, you don't go to school. You go to nursery.

If a child is wearing school uniform, then I don't think it's strange to call it school, they are in fact attending school literally and technically.

cookiesandchocolate · 23/09/2018 23:18

It gets on my nerves too!
I've worked in 3 nurseries attached to schools. One where nursery and reception were together- it's NOT school.
I find it annoying that these parents need validation on social media for their 3 year old. Just wait until they actually start reception class. Then shout it from the roof tops if you must

HesterMacaulay · 23/09/2018 23:31

Actually some of the posts on here have made me sad.
People talking about the same uniform and the same lunch hall and even the same assemblies for the nursery class???? If I had my way, those things wouldn't apply to Year R - let alone nursery. Sad

edwinbear · 23/09/2018 23:38

Round here, being in the nursery class of a school does not mean the child will necessarily go on into reception. The admissions process for school is totally separate.

Not at private school. At DS\DD’s school you are assessed for 3+ entry (i.e. nursery class) and you then have a place guaranteed at the school until they are reassessed at 11.

HesterMacaulay · 23/09/2018 23:42

At DS\DD’s school you are assessed for 3+ entry (i.e. nursery class)
Children being assessed for a nursery place makes me even sadder SadSad

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 23/09/2018 23:55

Well it's private education, the very idea of which is batshit but thankfully only applies to fewer than 6% of children.

isabella2 · 24/09/2018 00:11

Can't get worked up about it. We call it pre school to other people but school quite a lot to our children (one of which is now at 'big' school and the other at pre school).

edwinbear · 24/09/2018 00:17

Why does that make you sad Hester? She went off to school and played for a couple of hours on a Sat morning. She didn’t have to sit an exam Hmm

HesterMacaulay · 24/09/2018 00:24

The idea of a school system that selects and rejects children at 3 makes me very sad.
Which children were they keen to keep out?

BroomstickOfLove · 24/09/2018 00:34

DD started at her primary school when she was 3. She only went in the mornings, but it was to the early years unit at the school where she was in a mixed group of preschool and reception children. She stayed in the same classroom, with the same teachers until she went into year 1. There wasn't really a huge difference between "preschool" and reception - it was deliberately set up to create a very gentle transition to more formal learning in KS1.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 24/09/2018 06:13

Actually some of the posts on here have made me sad.
People talking about the same uniform and the same lunch hall and even the same assemblies for the nursery class???? If I had my way, those things wouldn't apply to Year R - let alone nursery.

Agreed.

DS went to nursery at the children's centre attached to a primary school. Had a teacher in his pre-school year (although he would not have recognised her role as anything different from the nursery nurse room leaders in the baby or 2yo room). No assemblies, lunch halls, uniforms. They went over to watch the big kids put on a couple of performances outside during the summer term, they used the school's forest area, during school holidays they used the school's playgrounds and (special school) soft play room. But they were three and they were treated as three year olds and not merely smaller four year olds.

Re the uniform thing - I'm so surprised to hear parents enthusiastic about this for nursery children - I suppose it just goes to show they're all different. At nursery, DS could reliably pick out a comfortable and practical outfit he felt happy in. All through reception, he whinged and grumbled every morning about the boring grey uniform. And I definitely found it cheaper NOT having a uniform - even with buying the basic bits from supermarkets, having an additional pair of shoes in every size and having to buy the school sweater in v poor quality at £7 a go or something is definitely not cheaper here than just sending him in his normal clothes always was. Very glad not to have had an extra year of that.

toomuchtooold · 24/09/2018 06:17

I’ve heard people refer to reception as “going up to big school” WTAF

Oh god. I can still remember, aged 5 (Scotland) correcting one of the neighbours when she asked me if I was looking forward to starting big school. Wee 5 year old like, Christ Janet, you start secondary school at 12, when was the past time you got your eyes checked?

captainproton · 24/09/2018 06:26

2 of my children went to playgroup at 3 and 2 went to school. One was run by childcare professionals / mums who had an amazing set up in a church hall. The other 2 attended the local private school I work in, where they have a teacher and follow the schools phonics programme, take part in all school events, same uniform and school day and are not classed as separate. So yes they definitely did start school and it’s very much like starting in reception in a state school.

My kids left after first year to attend state school, even with a discount couldn’t afford them to stay on. Absolutely no difference in what they learned and it really gave my kids an advantage. I have seen state schools where the reception class free flows with their preschool, so no different. So how do you define that?

BanginChoons · 24/09/2018 06:43

Do you not think a lot of it comes from.the child? My youngest referred to her nursery as "My little school" which to her is exactly what it was after attending the school run every morning with her older siblings since she was born.

Fontofnoknowledge · 24/09/2018 06:58

HesterMaculay

The idea of a school system that selects and rejects children at 3 makes me very sad.
Which children were they keen to keep out?

Thank god it's not just me. ! There is something so abhorrent about an institution that could 'assess' 3yr olds., through whatever means , (so no -'play' , does not make it even remotely ok) as that can only mean that there is 'selection' . WTF kind of morals and values can an institution that selects or rejects 3 yr olds hold. ???? . Based on what ? The way they play with sand ?

I can't think of a more unpleasant place to have my very young and impressionable child to be looked after than by people who can literally judge 3 yr olds and decide if they are ' the right sort'. Yuck.

CasperGutman · 24/09/2018 07:05

If my 3-year old goes to the nursery class of the primary school his 6-year-old sister attends, in one end of the same building, then the school is where they're both physically going.

I'm going to talk about taking the children "to school". I'm not going to make a big point of saying I'm dropping them off at "school and nursery" am I?

Fontofnoknowledge · 24/09/2018 07:34

*Edwinbear
*
Not at private school. At DS\DD’s school you are assessed for 3+ entry (i.e. nursery class) and you then have a place guaranteed at the school until they are reassessed at 11.

Wow - that's so great of them... what an amazing place. They assess a '3yr old' then 'allow you' to send your child to such a place for a further 7 yrs. So a minimum of a £100k for 2 dcs.

Then, they are 'reassessed' at 11+ where the cost/benefit analysis with regard to your child's academic ability Vs The schools Exam 'result advertising potential' (inextricably linked to attracting other well healed parents who find assessment of 3yr olds acceptable) is made. Then regardless of your child's welfare/friendship groups, family situation - they will be out on their ear if they are no longer 'the right type'..

Ho hum , there is nowt so queer as folk, personally I would prefer a school where no child is judged at any age let alone pay half a million over 2 children's school lifetime, to an institution who would do this.

captainproton · 24/09/2018 07:41

You do know not all private schools assess or are in grammar areas. And some provide provision upto 16.