Not to tell my friend I've seen her boyfriend on tinder?

[noluckinlove]

She's been seeing him 4/5 months only.
It might have been a old profile.
Should I keep my mouth shut or not?

I've known my friend for years - noticed her bf with whom she's buying a house - was on it. Not said a word
Can only assume you don't actually like this acquaintance

I would 100% want to know. Do it nicely (and take screenshots before you text her but don’t send them)

Well if you don't tell her, I think you will have to stop referring to her as "my friend"

ems137 what a kind way of doing it

It might be that a friend/colleague said that they're on it and he had a look at their profile out of curiosity.

I think you should say to her though, I'd expect a friend of mine to

I like what the group leader did on Ems post. I would say something similar and keep it light

Tinder keep their algorithms quite secret but the more active users show up first. That doesn't mean less or inactive members won't ever show up though.

Given there seems to be no consensus on how or when Tinder hides an inactive profile, I think you should tell your friend but don’t play it up to be worse than it potentially could be. Just mention that you saw his profile come up and thought you should give her a heads up but that you’re not sure how Tinder works with regards inactive profiles and it could be nothing. Let her decide how big of a deal it is.

Yeah I could see the pity in her eyes, I was 8 months pregnant at the time and when she told me I felt myself go white, my heart jumped up to my throat and I started shaking. She never mentioned it again after that but was always really kind. I'd never even heard of this particular dating site before and she literally had to spell it out to me what the site was for. I bet she felt awkward!

I don't understand dating apps but can you say to her you want to flick thru some prospects, look at them together and find him by chance?

That won't work with tinder, once you swipe someone you don't usually see them again

Please tell her, I'd want to be told!

@ems137 that's really horrible of him at such a vulnerable time

with tinder plus you can arrange by “recently online” if you need any confirmation that he is still using tinder.

i would tell her though, they havent been together long so it isnt like you will be potentially splitting up a family (not that it would be your fault).

I can't believe you even have to ask. Of course you need to tell her.

There is nothing worse than finding out someone had cheated on you and "friends" knew but didn't say anything. God they all crawled out of the woodwork after my mum finally got shut of my dad with their stories of seeing him with other women but didn't like to say anything.

I told someone once and she massively fell out with me. Looking back I think it's because I didn't tell her immediately. I had kind of hoped she would move on to someone new and he would become irrelevant and spare her the hurt. You could say "have you and bf both decided to stay on tinder?"

OP why are you even asking? Of course you should tell her! By your own admission, they've only been seeing each other 4-5 months so you don't have the excuse of 'ruining the family' etc etc.
Please tell her. It's up to her what she does with the information.

A friend of mine was dating someone from POF. He approached another of her friends on there and suggested he was single and looking, friend told her thankfully and she got rid.

She is now with a really lovely man. Tell your friend the facts and let her decide.

Please tell her the facts and let her have the choice to decide whether it's something or nothing.

Why wouldn't you tell her?

I would want my friend to tell me if I was her.

If it was me I’d want to know. Imagine if you found out your boyfriend was cheating and your friend said ‘yeah actually I saw him on tinder a few months ago..’.

I would tell her as a ‘it might not be anything but..’. It’s important info. She might be hurt but most likely she’ll find out eventually and it’s delaying her pain. And if it is something innocent (although not sure how) she can ask him to explain.

Even if he wasn’t still active it’s better to tell her and she can find that out herself?