To have concerns about counselling

[navymack]

This isn’t about individuals who I am sure mean well and genuinely want to help. But AIBU to worry that some of the treatments offered, at great personal expenditure, are ineffective or even counter productive in some cases?

The costs are really concerning to me - it seems that a lot of money goes into this with universities offering degrees in counselling and individuals charging anything between £30 and £70 per hour.

I have seen over the years people raise concerns about inappropriate things counsellors say to them, and the fact that it isn’t recommended for those in abusive relationships makes me wonder if in fact it is the solve-all it is often presented as being?

I know that individuals will state counselling was helpful to them, but what specifically is so helpful? Is it just having time and impartiality?

Who has told you that counselling always works OP?

Saying ‘you might want to change therapist’ isn’t the same as saying it always works surely? In a way it’s the equivalent of trying a different antidepressant?? It may or may not work.

And what is the definition of ‘works’? (Think that has already been done on this thread).

I think it's perfectly reasonable to have concerns if counselling is presented as something that always works but no ethical counsellor would say that. I think it's easy to say that any properly qualified counsellor should be competent but in my view too many counsellors are being trained (at least in my area) and not all are as competent or well supervised as they should be. I think sadly there are some counsellors who are working outside their competence too and it is difficult for clients to assess that unless they ask some very searching questions at a time when they are vulnerable. I list my qualifications and training on the directories so that people can see, for instance, that I have years of training and experience working with substance misuse. I don't have specific training in, for example, PTSD so I would signpost to someone who has.
I also find out from clients what they want from counselling and review progress regularly making it clear that they can decide to stop if it's not working out between us and that I will not hang onto clients for financial purposes if we agree the work is no longer needed.
With regard to confidentiality I work from home and schedule a gap between one client leaving and the next arriving.

That was such a helpful contribution, myhusband

I’ve seen that exact comment before. Stone the crows, a topic was discussed more than once on Mumsnet.

I will stand by my point that I have seen plenty of comments, many from counsellors, inferring that if it didn’t work it was because of the relationship with the therapist, the client not being ready and other similar remarks.

Sometimes it isn't successful because the client isn't ready or because therapist and counsellor aren't a good fit.

But that shouldn’t be assumed to always be the case.

IME the relationship with the counsellor is essential. If a client does not trust their counsellor, there is little likelihood of therapy working. So finding a new/the right therapist can make a huge difference.

It isn't assumed to always be the case. But it is the case sometimes. You seem to be taking the things you have heard about therapy to be Absolutes OP. That is not them case.

Although I guess that may be less important in things like CBT (which let’s face it now get delivered by computer programme - how effective that is I don’t know).

The relationship is crucial in CBT as in all talking therapies, if delivered by a person (as opposed to a computer program, some of which are actually very effective!), given that CBT is often about learning strategies to better manage anxiety and depression, it can be done via self help in a way that counselling really can’t. But when it’s delivered by a therapist the relationship is extremely important, and one of the biggest predictors of success.