to not tell DSD I'm awake?

[SarahH12]

I've been awake since 4:30 am due to bloody insomnia. I thought I'd make the most of being awake and do some of my Open University studying.

I'm sat in the kitchen with the light on. DSD (6 years old) just came downstairs, walked into the living room then walked back upstairs and closed her door.

Is it mean to not make her aware I'm awake? I really need to at least try and finish this chapter but I also feel mean to not tell her and leave her on her own. But I'm also bloody knackered and just wanting to be alone for another half hour or so. Is that selfish of me?

Good lord woman carry on as you are. She’s probably gone back to sleep or is playing on her own.
Stop being a martyr!!

@DeadGood I wasn't trying to be a martyr

I'm not sure what part of feeling guilty about ignoring a child makes me a martyr?

I would have checked that my 6 year old was ok and tucked them back in bed.

Leave her be and get on with doing what you need to.

So busy you popped onto mumsnet?

Ignore the Vipers OP!
As you were...

Vipers?

The OP felt guilty about it. Hence posting.

It takes a few minutes to check and say off you go back upstairs. That’s hardly a big deal.

“I'm not sure what part of feeling guilty about ignoring a child makes me a martyr?”

Sorry, didn’t mean to sound so harsh.

I’m struggling to put this into words, but bear with me... when you imply that it’s selfish to do homework, for example - a completely acceptable thing to do, especially since you’ve had precious little sleep yourself - you’re suggesting to other women that they would be selfish for doing that. You’re feeding into the notion that basically anything a woman does that’s not wholly selfless is bad.

It’s just tiring reading this sort of thing. I know you aren’t making sweeping statements about the entirety of womankind - just wondering about your own situation - but I just hate seeing this sort of attitude. It’s not like you locked her into her room then swanned off to get a manicure.

“It takes a few minutes to check and say off you go back upstairs. That’s hardly a big deal”

We all know that a child who knows there’s someone awake downstairs isn’t going back to sleep.

Fellow OU student here. Of course not! I do it most mornings before my DD(4) gets up. I can hear if she is awake but if she's happy playing then I leave her be!

I would have checked that my 6 year old was ok and tucked them back in bed

Why? She's obviously perfectly capable of taking herself back to bed, and who tucks duvets in anyway?

I never tell DS2 I'm awake! He generally quietly comes into our room and turns his tablet on. 😆

If it was my 5yo I would have held my breath and sat like a statue in the hope that she wouldn't find me. Doing work when she ought to be asleep frees up time during the day to do stuff with her.

BelieveItOrNot tuck her back into bed at 6.44? I'd leave them to it, as long as they're quiet. It's definitely not still bedtime at 6.44.

Dead i actually agree with you.
It’s a good point to raise. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong about carrying in doing something for yourself like this.

Besides, I’m surprised that dsd didn’t realised you were up anyway (mines would have!) so would have assumed she wanted to be left alone (and go and play with toys or the iPad)

Why on earth would you go and check on her. Soon as she knows you're awake she will want your attention. She's obviously perfectly happy.

Yadnbu as a step mum myself, I always have to check whether I'm being hsrsh or not because you don't have the same love as you do for your own child.

I would also suggest not confiding in mumsnetters about step-motherhood because for some reason it's the most unsupportive community when it comes to step parenting.

I hope you got your chapter completed or at less than had a cuppa in peace. 🍪

So busy you popped onto mumsnet?

Don't be silly. It was two hours after she started work. Not only is it OK to stop for a break after two hours' studying, it's positively advisable.

I’m struggling to put this into words, but bear with me... when you imply that it’s selfish to do homework, for example - a completely acceptable thing to do, especially since you’ve had precious little sleep yourself - you’re suggesting to other women that they would be selfish for doing that. You’re feeding into the notion that basically anything a woman does that’s not wholly selfless is bad.

This. I think you put it into words perfectly.

Gersemi- Why was it a silly thing to say? Don't have time to interact with a child but takes time to consider the implications of it and post about it. That's silly.

What @DeadGood said. I have no idea why you would beat yourself up over this, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I'm guessing there is a backstory?

“This. I think you put it into words perfectly.”

Thank you peak pint and hermione