To think I'll never properly breast feed again

[wolfiemother]

My son is 5 weeks old and was exclusively breastfed for the first few weeks. It was going pretty well and He exceeded his birth weight within 10 days. We were feeding on demand. Then he started developing a shallow latch and pinching my nipples and, despite some help from the hv, i struggled with positioning. I fear this was due to us introducing a dummy which had been recommended to help him with trapped wind. I felt he was loosing weight and everyone kept tellingh me some newborns are just skinny. Anyway i had him weighed and his weight had dropped below his birth weight. I was devastated and felt such a failure. We spent 24hrs in hospital and he is currently on a three hourly feeding regime. He spends 5 mins on each breast and then has 65ml bottle of expressed milk (or formula if I've not managed to express enough).

I miss feeding on demand/ comfort feeding and we still have problems with latch. No matter what I try it remains shallow and even when we get a good latch he kind of slides off during the feed. My nipples come out pointed, like a lipstick, sore and sometimes with white tips.

I'm so worried that we'll never manage to go back to bf and that the temporary use of bottles will make it harder for him to switch. He's now gaining weight and is sleeping much better which is the most important thing but I'm so depressed. Did anyone else manage to resume breast feeding after mix feeding? Is it worth seeing a lactation consultant?

OP, you sound so stressed. In the first place, just remember that you’re doing a brilliant job, however you feed him. If he’s struggling to latch, has he been checked for tongue tie? It might have gone unnoticed at first?

My lo dropped below birth weight and we had to 'top up' with ebm/formula for about 2weeks. I had exactly the same fears but we got her back to exclusivity breastfeed and have had no problems since.
She is now an absolute thriving 10 month old who flatly refuses a bottle in any form and still breastfeeds on demand.
Has your lo been properly checked for tongue/lip tie? Get help from a lactation specialist, not just a generic midwife.its so tough but you are doing fantastically well to persevere. Make sure you are eating, drinking and getting some sleep to protect your supply. Good luck

I would definitely seek specialist bf support. My local trust has a brilliant clinic you can be referred to but i also contacted la leche league for advice.

Have you tried the flipple technique? The good thing is your baby knows how to latch well. Mine got lazy with bottles far too quickly and I couldn't get her back on the breast but we never had the latch down in the first place.

I was robbed off for ages by people telling me it was normal to hurt etc but was exactly the same as you're describing with nipple being white, misshapen etc.

For you it sounds like it's still salvageable so seek specialist support ASAP!

Definitely worth seeing a lactation consultant. Look for a qualified one, an ibclc.

Definitely have a look into nipple shields. If baby is getting accustomed to the feeling of a bottle teat then he might take to them better. I tried them with my baby girl, Boots own brand but didn’t think they were a good fit though so it’s worth researching to find a good shape. In the end my breastfeeding journey ended as my milk supply was so low and she was losing far too much weight.

Definitely worth contacting a lactation consultant, ASAP. Have a look on the Breastfeeding Network website, they have a helpline and factsheets.
Best of luck!

Nothing to do with a dummy. He will have an undiagnosed tongue tie. Pay £150 to see a private TT clinic and get it sorted.

I think you need to take a step back. You have just been through a massive life changing experience and you sound (rightfully) overwhelmed.

You are not a failure for having bf issues.
To be honest and in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter if you bf or bottle feed. If you want to try again at bf then find a good lactstion consultant, but try and keep it in perspective. The important thing is that your baby is being fed (whether that be breast or formula) and that you are enjoying being a new mum.

Have you tried a nipple sheild?

I fourth getting him checked for tongue tie. A lipstick shaped nipple is one of the signs. If you can see a private lactation consultant for a second opinion (as ours wasn't picked up on the NHS) and also to get it treated. But also don't stress!

I know at 5 weeks old you probably feel that you should have bf figured out by now, but in reality it takes way longer than that.

Agree with previous posters to get checked for tongue tie, and I also recommend nipple shields. I used the medela shields for the first 4 months with DD, there is no way I would have been able to bf without them.

If ultimately this is the end of your bf, then that isn’t as bad as you think. You’ve given your baby the best start by bf up to now and for the sake of your own stress and sanity formula may be the right choice.

All the best, I know how hard it is, but you will get through it.

In short - yes it is possible. I had to combination feed DS1 (2 formula bottles top up a day) due to weight from around 6 weeks old. Also had lots of issues with sore nipples, mastitis etc. He had a posterior tongue tie which was corrected but by then my supply was too low and he didn’t feed efficiently. Has yours been checked for TT?

Once his weight was stable (after months) I gradually dropped the bottles. It took a while in our case but never stopped breastfeeding + pumped to keep up supply, and by around 7 or so months we no longer needed any bottles and breastfed on demand until he self-weaned at 22 months, obviously he was on solids then too which helped.

It just depends what’s best for you and your baby in this situation. I would try to see a lactation consultant as there’s clearly an issue. Don’t beat yourself up over having to bottle feed though!

Just wanted to say I had a very similar experience with my first baby, although it was earlier for her (at day 4 when she had lost 17% of body weight). We got admitted and I was on a regular regime of expressing and breastfeeding directly. She gained weight and went on to feed until she was 2, then feeding my 2nd daughter was a much more straightforward experience. I found it a very stressful time and with relatively little support - my main areas of help were my Mum (who had also breastfed) and my local breastfeeding support group, specifically the breastfeeding support midwife. I know it's really demoralising but it is possible for it to get better. I would only focus on feeding and would delay / ignore everything else or get others to help. Good luck and take care.

Well, obviously it matters to you OP so you definitely don't have to just accept the situation and get over it. HVs are often not properly trained to advise on breastfeeding or just don't have enough experience of seeing the range of normal/not normal.

Definitely look up an IBCLC in your area as soon as you can. Good luck mama! I'm sure you are doing your absolute best for your baby.

It's possible! I spent a week in intensive care when my DS was 5 days old. We'd just got feeding sorted when I got ill but he had 7 or 8 days only being bottle fed and i ate almost nothing for well over a week and didn't feed or express. Took a bit of effort, amd some help from a lovely nurse or breast feeding bod (all a bit of a blur so I'm not sure who she was) but i was back to bf on demand within a month. Although he did still have the odd bottle which was super handy if i wanted to go out without him at all.
However. It's not the end of the world if you don't, it is lovely and everything but there's plenty of other stuff about your beautiful baby that's lovely.

I’d listen to all the advice here. My experience is that I tried mixed feeding and used a dummy and felt that my son stopped breastfeeding properly. I stopped mixed feeding and stopped him having the dummy for two weeks and things improved (never gave him a bottle again but did give him a dummy as he’s a terrible sleeper).

My son never latched properly and I agonised about it for months but he gained weight well and I’m still breastfeeding him at 3. Wish I’d just let the numbers speak for themselves.

I’m sure you’ll get there but please don’t feel bad if you have to mix feed. Too much emphasis is put on exclusivity breastfeeding when most women are just trying to do what’s best for their babies.

Slipping off and nipple feeding is a sign of tongue tie. Both mine have had it and it's taken much longer to get breastfeeding going but it's totally doable.

My first had his TT cut at 6 weeks after weeks of really difficult feeding. A lovely Lactation consultant helped get things back on track and I have fed them both for two years.

It can take longer than 5 weeks to work out BF. Try to stay calm OP it's totally possible for you to get back to EBF. I had to FF for a few days, then mixedfed and managed eventually to get mine to EBF.
I visited every bf cafe around. The lady who saved the day showed us the Koala position (google it). Nobody else showed me and it turned out DS just didn't like any other position and would slide off for a number of reasons.
She also worked out that he had tongue tie. Mind by the time we had the snip he was already feeding really well thanks to that position she showed us. Try it! I've since met a few people who say it really helped with babies who slide off/don't open their mouths wide enough.

I can tell you really want to do this, but fed is best at the end of the day. You are not a failure. Take some of the advice of how to make bf work if that is what you want, but don't hold it in such high regard that you beat yourself up if it doesn't work.

Bless you OP I had similar struggles with my eldest. She just wouldn’t latch properly.

In the end I tried nipple shields. They aren’t ideal but it was honestly that or stop because she wouldn’t feed at all from me. In the end we continued mix feeding for 8 months, so it was 100% worth it.

Definitely see a TT consultant and lactation experts, feeding groups etc whatever RL help you can get, grab it! I didn’t have any such help and I am sure it would’ve made a huge difference.

I went on to have 2 years EBF with my second (no shields or anything needed, he had a couple of bottles due to jaundice/low blood sugar due to his epic size, but that was it) and am now nearly a year in with my third. So please don’t think this means you can’t do it, it is just that some babies struggle more than others.

Yes, had to express and dump at one point. Check for tongue tie - this caused my nephew to struggle

Thank you so much for all these replies. They're so helpful and reassuring.

A breast feeding lady at the hospital have him a quick check for tt and said it doesn't look like he has it. But she said it wasn't a full assessment as she only deals with newborns and we should try a private lactation consultant

Any advice on how to get tt diagnosed and referred? My hv is lovely but is better at giving kind words of encouragement rather than exploring the issue. I'm in South East London.

Don't know where you are in the country OP but if your anywhere near the south west then I'd make an app at healthy babies which is in tiverton. Amazing breastfeeding support, life saving for me when I was struggling. X

And I'm expressing after each feed (8 times a day....) and nearly always get more than enough for the next top up bottle feed so i feel positive about my supply at least.