To think I'll never properly breast feed again

[wolfiemother]

My son is 5 weeks old and was exclusively breastfed for the first few weeks. It was going pretty well and He exceeded his birth weight within 10 days. We were feeding on demand. Then he started developing a shallow latch and pinching my nipples and, despite some help from the hv, i struggled with positioning. I fear this was due to us introducing a dummy which had been recommended to help him with trapped wind. I felt he was loosing weight and everyone kept tellingh me some newborns are just skinny. Anyway i had him weighed and his weight had dropped below his birth weight. I was devastated and felt such a failure. We spent 24hrs in hospital and he is currently on a three hourly feeding regime. He spends 5 mins on each breast and then has 65ml bottle of expressed milk (or formula if I've not managed to express enough).

I miss feeding on demand/ comfort feeding and we still have problems with latch. No matter what I try it remains shallow and even when we get a good latch he kind of slides off during the feed. My nipples come out pointed, like a lipstick, sore and sometimes with white tips.

I'm so worried that we'll never manage to go back to bf and that the temporary use of bottles will make it harder for him to switch. He's now gaining weight and is sleeping much better which is the most important thing but I'm so depressed. Did anyone else manage to resume breast feeding after mix feeding? Is it worth seeing a lactation consultant?

TONGUE TIE! The lipstick shaped nipple and slipping is a dead give away, has he been checked by a specialist? We had ds2's snipped at three weeks and within ten minutes he was feeding normally, it was a revelation! But you may need to push hard, my midwife and a breastfeeeding clinic both said there was nothing wrong but I insisted and we got a referral, and when we got to the consultant he said it was severe and around 75% tied!

Yes, lactation consultant asap! She will show you techniques and positioning to help get a good latch. The key is to get baby to gape wide enough to get lots of breast into the mouth.

In the meantime, check out YouTube vids of flipple technique. This is to try to get that nice wide take from baby then you quickly 'flip your nipple into its mouth. It's tricky timing and takes some practice, but worth trying.

*gape not take

Re: TT, it could be, but you said you were feeding normally for the first weeks. An iblc will be able to confirm or rule it out, however.

I fed a TT baby and it was super painful right from the first feed

I had similar issues to you when my DS was little - also in SE London. The breast feeding cafes are really good in our area, try to get along to a few - the council website list the times and there’s a Facebook group as well I think. They’ll help with the latch and can spend time with you working out a feeding plan. 2 great resources I used were the cafes and the la leche SE London Facebook group, so much helpful advice and also run meet ups.
Hang in there, I went ebf, exc formula, tongue tie snip, combo fed, back to ebf.. at times it felt like we’d never get the hang of it, he’s 17 months now are we’re still going.

You might find this link helpful re tounge tie www.drghaheri.com/blog/2014/3/22/rethinking-tongue-tie-anatomy-anterior-vs-posterior-is-irrelevant.

No real advice but I just wanted to give you a bit more hope. My friend has been exclusively expressing for nearly 6 months because her baby just wouldn't latch properly due to tounge tie that kept reattaching. Her baby has somehow just started latching properly and she's been exclusively breastfeeding for about a month now. I reckon that's pretty amazing and just shows never to give up if it's what you really want. However don't let your mental health suffer as a consequence of persistently trying. It's very hard isn't it and I struggled with both of mine. It's a balance of working out what's best for them and best for you.

I never managed it but I think we had some many issues it just didn’t work. But, I know so many people that have mixed fed successfully and some that moved back to exclusively breastfeeding. I had loads of friends that ended up doing one feed of formula, or using formula during a period of mastitis and had no problem returning to their usual feeding.

Please be kind to yourself. I remember how exhausting the regime of feed, express, formula top-up was when the consultants put mine on it. I never had anything like your supply though so you’re doing loads better than me. I was lucky if I was getting 20ml for each feed which was pretty dispiriting after 20 mins on the pump. I just remember either feeding or expressing and how upset (and irrational) I was getting about my failure to make it work.

My nipped were that shape when my daughter had tongue tie. The midwives at the hospital told me she didn't have it. Twice. Google qualified tongue tie practitioners in your area and see if you can get a private appointment. Otherwise start with ringing a breastfeeding support group in your area and see if they can point you in the right direction

I agree with those saying check for TT. Go private if you can afford.

Kings have a tongue tie clinic you can get referred to by the breastfeeding midwives. Your HV will know how to do it or ask the infant feeding specialist on the ward how to get properly assessed.

Getting a private assessment is probably your quickest way but the service is available via the NHS.

Which borough are you in?

OP I am a breastfeeding peer supporter.
Firstly, try not to panic. The three hour feeding and topup can seem relentless, but persevere if you can, it absolutely IS possible to get back to 100% bf.

Something is clearly not right with your positioning and attachment. HV are not always the best people to advise on this, it is worth seeing if your area has a bf group you can attend for some further advice.

If you can afford to pay private, I highly recommend this lady. She is a lactation consultant so can advise on positioning etc but can also check for and snip a tongue tie. She did my second baby when the nhs repeatedly denied that she had a tongue tie and refused to deal with it. She can be tricky to get hold of because she is in demand but just keep ringing. I don't think she amswers the phone at the weekend but leave a message so she knows you are trying, then call again Monday. There are two clinic numbers and also her mobile number on the contact page.

www.ann-dobson.co.uk/tongue-tie-london.html

I don't know anything about diagnosing tongue tie but wanted to let you know that my DD was mix fed from 3 days old - mostly bottle fed - and she took a dummy from about 10 days. She is now exclusively breast fed. Good luck, hope you get it sorted out.

Tongue-tie.org.uk has a list of qualified practitioners you can search by area. Some are also lactation consultants.

I echo pp. You can definitely return to bf and you need to speak to a qualified lactation consultant (IBCLC). They are expensive but well worth it if you can afford them. Or LLL might help either.

Is the 3hour time frame just for top ups? As in, could you breast feed baby whenever, but make sure he gets a top up every 3 hours?

@Drummingisfun I just called Ann Dobson and she answered. Amazing lady! She thinks it sounds like classic tt or could be due to forceps delivery. Hoping to see her this week. Thanks for the recommendation!

Just wanted to send you some support and say you're doing a great job. There's so much emotion mixed up with breastfeeding, I personally really struggled with it. We combination fed until my son was 3 months old and he suddenly went off bottles - so it is certainly possible to keep going if you want to! If you can, seek out local feeding groups online, they often do weekly meetings. The hospital I gave birth in had two feeding specialist midwives who run a Facebook page and they were kind enough to give me support over messages while I was recovering from my section and couldn't travel to the group. We started off with nipple shields and gradually stopped using them as my son got bigger and more able to feed by himself. Some babies just don't get the hang of it until they're older! Hope all goes well for you x

wolfiemother
I'm so glad, if you can see her you should be able to get sorted.
And remember, even if you are topping up with formula for the moment, if baby is still getting some breastmilk that has lots of amazing benefits for baby and for you too.

Come back and update with how you get on.

Hope you're doing OK wolfie

Did she confirm the tt?

Hi, @RedFin , @faeriequeen & @drummingisfun - tongue tie was confirmed and snipped and Ann was brilliant. He now mostly latches on really well although needs frequent readjustment as he still slips back to old habits. My nipples are still sore and painful so I express and give bottles during the night feeds to give them a break. Also we struggle to latch during the night when he's both too sleepy and too fractious so it means more sleep and less stress for us both at the moment.

Annoyingly the hospital confirmed he had thrush two weeks after we were discharged . He has no visible symptoms but I do so I'm treating myself with cream until i get to the gp.

I still feel some guilt and anxiety about using bottles. I blame most of this with the nhs staff and others being unable to promote anything other than breast. At our antenatal classes were told the trainer wasn't allowed to discuss formula or mixed/ combination feeding at all. This left me utterly unprepared and unaware of how common feeding problems are. I've been surprised by how many people do decide/ have to mix feed.

Sorry for terrible grammar. I have a sleepy, post-feed babe in arms & am typing with left hand.

Go you! You may not feel like it at this stage but you are doing so incredibly well. Your baby is so lucky to have a mum like you that, through the agonising newborn fog, has persevered to do the absolute best you can for your baby. Superstar mum .

I should also add I was thrilled that the lactation consultant didn't just get me to faff around with more pillows. I know position is important but every hv, midwife and bf cafe I sought help from just encouraged me to use more and more cushions. I think I wrote my original post shortly after a frustrating feed where my partner basically built a pillow fort around me and I thought 'the position of the baby can't need to be this precise otherwise how did babies ever survive before the invention of the pillow!'

I'm so glad you finally got some answers. My son also had tongue tie and took a while to get used to his new wriggly tongue once snipped. He still falls back into old habits occasionally.

He's been mixed fed since about a week old. I did feel awful at first, especially as I don't get enough from expressing, but it is working well for us and means dad gets a go too!

Mine had a tongue tie - could be related to your lipstick dilemma. Tbh I think the dummy hasn't helped, you've kinda shot yourself in the foot there, it doesn't help with wind. Wiggling them in a figure of 8 when sat up helps wind. But your baby is happier and healthy so don't stress too much now :)