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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to follow through on police report?

59 replies

44v88x7p · 23/09/2018 01:46

Hi, my first post here - I love mumsnet but have never before felt the need to post.

I want to know if AIBU to follow through a report I made to the police and I’m hoping the collective wisdom of mumsnetters will help.

Tonight I had to call 111 for my DGM who has multiple serious health issues - think cardiac/respiratory. Her symptoms triggered an Ambulance call out (the paramedics told me off when they arrived as I should have called 999 directly).

The paramedics arrived and started medical tests (ECG, blood sugar, etc). They also have her oxygen and medication to try to make it easier for her to breath.

Whilst the paramedics are treating
DGM and trying to take medical history our NDN phones us - demanding we make the paramedics turn off the ambulance lights as they are keeping her awake, this was at about 11pm.

I tried to tell her calmly that now wasn’t a good time, she became increasingly louder and aggressive swearing and demanded to speak to the paramedics.

The paramedics were very professional and explained that they were attending an emergency and that the lights had to stay on. After some more verbal abuse from NDN one of the paramedics went outside to call for the police. NDN seems to hear this down the phone line and hangs up.

NDN then comes storming onto our property, and let’s herself in the closed front door and begins screaming and swearing at myself, DGP and the paramedics about how she’s being inconvenienced and that this happens all the time (Both my DGP have serious disabilities/health issues and about once a month an ambulance is required - often requested by GP/111). NDN refused to leave.

I admit I panicked and I dialled 999 for the police.

As this was going on the paramedic who went out came back in as the stress was causing DGM symptoms to worsen. Then went back out and moved the ambulance as the situation has escalated out of control - and are happy that I’m already on the phone to the police, who say they’re on the way as the operator could hear NDN.

NDN realises I was on the phone to the police and storms out of our house.

I let the police operator know this and as NDN has left and paramedics are in attendance the police will still need to come but at a lower priority (completely fine I understand it’s saturday night). Obviously if she comes back dial police emergency again.

DGM is now hysterical and symptoms have worsened. As suspected DGM needed to go to the hospital for further treatment. At first she refused further care as she felt guilty for all the trouble but paramedics calmed her down. Unfortunately DGM had to go alone as DGF needs 24 hour care and is wheelchair bound.

Police called to take more details and to give a crime reference number and to say someone would be out later tonight.

As DGMs condition is as yet unclear and I may have to get myself and DGF to hospital at short notice/ in the early hours of the morning we agreed that when the situation is clearer in the morning police will be coming to take statements.

We’ve previously got on okay with NDN so I’m very distressed and confused about the events tonight and me and DGF aren’t sure about police involvement.

However the police let us know that it’s almost certain that the Ambulance service will be making a report of their own due to zero tolerance policies for abuse of NHS staff. So it is out of our hands to an extent.

AIBU to have called the police? Should I make a statement that the police want?

AIBU to think that police or no police, NDN behaviour was BU?

Please let’s not argue about Ambulance call outs. 9/10 they are requested by GP/111. And my DGF is housebound he is often picked up in Ambulances to transport him to hospital appointments as it’s been agreed as the safest way to move him. Even our GP makes house calls and pharmacy delivers medication.

Both DGP have disabilities/conditions that are serious and can deteriorate and become life threatening very quickly and that normally need treatment and monitoring on route to hospital.

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 23/09/2018 11:30

Of course you have to report this. How could you not?

Nightwatch999 · 23/09/2018 13:13

Jess the crew have radio's on them so would of called control from inside the house.

Turning the lights off is not important when you are going to someone with breathing problems. The NDN is far down the list of priority's, and she will no doubt be expecting a visit from the Police today.

listsandbudgets · 23/09/2018 13:29

Your NDN needs to sort out their priorities. they were not impacting you and your family but potentially the next person who needs an ambulance. What if the next person died because the paramedics were tied up dealing with your neighbour?

Buy your ndn an eye mask for Christmas to help with the light problem..

Geraldine170 · 23/09/2018 13:34

If the paramedic had the time to go outside and call the police, why didn't they just turn the blue flashing light off, which would have diffused the situation?

Presumably so drivers are aware the ambulance is there and don’t block the exit when they have very sick people in them and time is of the essence.

glueandstick · 23/09/2018 13:38

If I had elderly neighbours with multiple health conditions like that and I saw flashing blue lights, I’d be round there like a shot to make sure they were ok and give a hand to whoever was left at home/go with them.

That old saying that it takes a village? That also applies to our elders too.

They sound awful.

Geraldine170 · 23/09/2018 13:43

If the paramedic had the time to go outside and call the police, why didn't they just turn the blue flashing light off, which would have diffused the situation?

It also differentiates between ambulances on active duty and those parked up and idle.

It doesn’t matter anyway the paramedic told her they had to be on and that’s it. It might seem unimportant to us but in public sector jobs you can lose your job over stuff like this. Say someone didn’t know that there was an ambulance on the road and double parked to nip into a shop causing delays which led to a death the driver could just say ‘Well I had no idea there was an ambulance there, there were no lights’ and the paramedic would be up in a misconduct case for breaking procedure. It doesn’t matter how desperate the circumstances are, they have to stick to it. There was something on TV earlier this week who didn’t follow police procedure when he got Keith Helliwell to reveal where Becky Godden’s body was. He found a murdered girl and brought her back to her family ending years of torture. But he still can’t work in this country, he has to work in Somalia. It’s not as simple as ‘just switch off the lights’.

picklepost · 23/09/2018 13:43

Some of the stories on here are so outrageous that it's difficult to know what to say - and this is one of them.

I'm just so sorry for what you and your family went through and are now dealing with.

I hope the police involvement helps.

KM99 · 23/09/2018 15:27

Give the statement and let the police take it from there. Emergency Services deserve respect and space to do their job. Your NDN deserves whatever punishment they get

Ambulance blocked our drive last week. I was due to leave for an appointment. Left a bit earlier and walked. Would never dream of asking them to move let alone get irate.

Homebird8 · 23/09/2018 18:43

How’s you DGM doing OP? I hope this doesn’t put her off calling for help when she needs it.

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