To be angry because ExH just had a baby with another woman?

[overwornout]

Any one left an abusive marriage? X doesn't pay child support?

2yrs down the line, depressed, workaholic just to provide and make sure DD has everything that a child needs. X has moved on , fathered a baby with another woman, still doesn't pay child support yet DD loves him and wants to see him every other weekend. I want to stop contact and move on with my life. But I'm so scared and lonely. The abuse I have been through has turned me to a bruised woman who trusts no man. I am all alone and I'm tired of everything. 88% of the time I want to up but I can't.
Was diagnosed with depression but we all know it takes a century to get a therapist., neither can I afford one. Who else has moved on and how did you do it?

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha thanks alot. Will definitely give it a go this coming weekend.

However, deep down within I feel like I really need to message his new partner and let her know that he hardly supports DD. Without being bitchy about what led to our separation and that. Just purely about DD. Not sure if it's a great idea..I just want her know and hopefully she can tell him to pay child support. It might work..It might not...I don't know. Best to exhaust all avenues with hope.

NOOOO - DON'T DO IT!

She won't believe it, she will immediately show it to your ex, he will easily explain it away to her as "crazy ex, jealous of you, wants to destroy our happiness". It will achieve nothing except making you angry and frustrated (again).

If you want money from him, you will have to get it through the courts. If they can't deliver that, nobody will. Awful but true.

Don’t message the new partner, hoping some random woman to get through to him is a waste of your time.

DD has regular contact with her grandparents and it’s obvious they love her very much but they are in denial about their son and if you listen to his Mum, you’d think he was the victim. Every few month or so, she will bring up how sad her son is and I have to be firm and shut that shit down quite forcibly, in the hope it will deter her (but it never does) in the future. DD has no contact with her father (his choice) and he pays no maintenance (again his choice). I suspect he will rock up in her teenage years and expect her to develop amnesia but even though I’ve learned to manage without his financial contribution, I periodically let the authorities contact him just so he knows that his arrears haven’t gone anywhere.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha oh dear, that did cross my mind. But as far as I know, she has a child (from her previous relationship) with an absent father for many years.(apparently he lives abroad so my assumption was that she doesnt get any support from him either). I was hoping that she would understand how difficult it is to raise a child with an exP who doesnt give a monkey and she would ask him to pay child support towards DD. I know it sounds pathetic but I was willing to take pictures of letters from csa and attach to the text as proof that I'm not making sh** up. I know It sounds hopeless but God what do I have to lose?

AgentJohnson you sound brave and dealing with the situation well. Well done you.

I think u reasonable to stop contact for one he was abusive and two he doesn't pay child support! Move on with your life and hopefully he will realise sooner rather than later what he's missing with your child. He shouldn't have had another child without paying for the one he already got. This happens way to often.

Why would your daughter know her dad doesn't financially support her? My son's dad doesn't pay anything (no luck yet with cms) but my son doesn't know that. Why would I tell him when it would potentially hurt him? He doesn't bother with our son much tbh but I would never refuse contact as that isn't my right to do so. Unless of course there is abuse or danger somewhere. Do you think your daughter is at risk of abuse or harm? Other than that courts view maintenance and contact separately so he'll get access.

WaterOffaDucksCrack DD is not at risk with him whatsoever but I do worry he feeds her alot of his philosophies that are beyond her years. Diabolical statements sometimes but i always try to rectify an opinion (to suit her age understanding) if i think it could affect her way of thinking. Physically she is safe, gets fed well and plenty of fun when she goes away. So in all honesty I see why she enjoys going over; ie fun reasons.

I have never mentioned to DD that her father never supports me to raise her. I know as grows up she will find out eventually . It's not a secret you can hide forever particularly when we are living together.
I don't know how a human being can eat live and breath without a single care in the world about his/her kid. When I think of the hell I have been through with my DD to be stable today., I wish I could erase him completely and know it's just me and DD. Seeing him over contact, a text regarding picking up and drop offs, or birthday wishes destroys me. It doesnt help my depression. It destroys me...Im in tears already just writing it all😪

He shouldn't have had another child without paying for the one he already got. This happens way to often.

Couldn't agree more. If only there was a law to control this.

I don't know how they can do it either but some people are just cunts. At the end of the day you're her stability and security and that is what's important and what she'll remember. Whatever he does doesn't take away from the fantastic job you're doing.

WaterOffaDucksCrack very true.
Thank you.