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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tell them about my actual dates (again)?

42 replies

Lilsquish · 20/09/2018 09:56

Im currently 7+6 weeks pregnant. However according to my lmp im 10 weeks.

I told the midwife my cycles are always 40+ days and that i used opks so know exactly when i ovulated (hence knowing im further behind)

midwife said she would amend my notes.

today i have received my 12 week scan date. i'll be 9+6 when i get it.

ideally i don't want to tell them (again) as id love an early scan (have had a previous mc) but then i know theyll have to give me a second scan approx 2 weeks later as il be too early for all the measurements that they need to do.

so AIBU to just go for the scan and get an early glimpse of my baby/ reassurance everything is ok even though it will waste nhs time/money?

OP posts:
Fatted · 20/09/2018 10:03

Personally I would go for the scan. In my experience they don't listen to you when you explain something outside of the norm or average.

My first was a nightmare because I hadn't had a period for 3 months before falling pregnant (despite negative tests the entire time). Everyone got in a panic, telling me I had to be seen straight away because I was over 12 weeks. Despite me explaining my situation over and over and over again. Finally got the scan and was told I was only a few weeks pregnant. Angry Just what I'd been saying all along!! Had another scan at the proper 12 weeks and all was fine.

BlueUggs · 20/09/2018 10:09

I'd go to the scan....then have another one at the correct time!! and say I told you so to all the staff who aren't listening to you

PerfectlyPosed · 20/09/2018 11:35

I'd go for the scan and then you'll get reconfirmation of the dates.

ShowerOfMonsters · 20/09/2018 11:37

Go for the scan, they won't believe you even if you do try to explain. Again.

PorkFlute · 20/09/2018 11:37

I thought you could have the scan from 8 weeks? It was a long time ago for me though so could be wrong.

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 20/09/2018 12:05

Take the bonus scan!

PorkFlute - is it not that you can have a scan at 8-weeks to see if things look ok, but it's first at 12 weeks or so that they can check the spine development etc.?

53rdWay · 20/09/2018 12:24

Take the scan. The system really isn’t set up for women knowing more than LMP and they’ll probably want you to attend anyway even if you tell them it’s early.

I’ve actually made up an LMP date before for this reason - knew exactly when I ovulated but it was a long cycle immediately after a miscarriage, and I got fed up of going round and round in circles explaining.

nutellanom · 20/09/2018 12:32

Go for the scan. I had similar and knew it was a bit early for the scan but midwife just went by their system - I think they prefer to get you in early (and have to ask you back again) as if you go in too late you miss the window for them to do the downs screening.

HidingFromMyKids · 20/09/2018 12:34

My situation was near identical. I hadn't had a period for two years but had some spotting. They dated me on that and my 12wk scan I was only 9 weeks but I didn't know that until I went. The sonographer was very rude to me like I was wasting everyone's time but I did explain.

Unfortunately I had an mmc discovered at 11.5 so I never got the official 12 wk scan but looking back I'm glad I got to see the baby at 9 weeks.

I'm now 22 weeks after falling on straight away and it was easier to date this time.

We don't fall into the normal dating procedure and as that's not your fault you should take the early scan. I doubt they would take your word for it anyway.

I hope all goes well I'm sorry for your previous loss. The anxiety is difficult x
Flowers

AdoreTheBeach · 20/09/2018 12:36

Go for the scan. I had something similar-ish following a miscarriage. The dates they gave me I knew were wrong as it put DH and I in different countries at time of conception, as well as almost immediately after the miscarriage. So how strange they had to induce me for being very late!

BlueBug45 · 20/09/2018 12:40

Go for the scan. If the sonographer is rude to you be very firm back and state your booking midwife refused to listen to you on your cycle length.

bookgirl1982 · 20/09/2018 12:50

Take the scan, and the lesson that the NHS won't listen much for the duration of your pregnancy. The system can't seem to cope with women who know their own bodies and want to have a proper discussion about medical matters.

Iamablanket · 20/09/2018 12:58

It's not a 12 week scan as such anyway, it's a dating scan for this exact purpose. Even scanning at 12 weeks you might need another if baby is in wrong position and won't turn etc.

butlerswharf · 20/09/2018 13:03

It's a dating scan so just go along to it and see how far along they measure you.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/09/2018 13:07

Go. I had the same argument when I knew I was about 6 weeks and their computer said 12 so she panicked and got me in. Sonographer looked and said "you're not 12 weeks!", I said I know but the computer didn't listen. Lovely early scan photo and return visit 5 weeks later

YetAnotherThing · 20/09/2018 13:10

Just as the others said, it’s a dating scan which sets your EDD. If it’s too early they’ll get you back for nuchal measurements etc.

tenredthings · 20/09/2018 13:10

The danger is that if they think the baby is older they will put pressure on you to induce when you pass your too early due date.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/09/2018 13:13

Ten the measurements at this scan will make it clear she's earlier than they thought so it should date pretty accurately

Original poster
Lilsquish · 21/09/2018 00:30

sorry iv not been back on sooner! thank you all for the replies.

im v pleased, and slightly surprised, that everyone is saying go for it! thought id get a few 'the nhs has enough time wasters to deal with' etc.

yay i can go early and feel at ease :-)

OP posts:
garethsouthgatesmrs · 21/09/2018 00:39

In my experience they don't listen to you when you explain something outside of the norm or average.

Exactly this. Tell your midwife you are wring about the dates if you like but she won't listen anyway. ( or might personally listen but won't be able to make any changes to the system)

DelilahandDaisy · 21/09/2018 00:47

Will they actually give you a 12 week scan though? If you have one at 10weeks. Surely you will just wait until 20 weeks in this instance. This must happen to many many women, that they don’t know the correct dates. I honestly can’t see why they would have to re-scan you 2 weeks later.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/09/2018 01:24

DelilahandDaisy depends from what point they can do the nuchal fold and ask the measurements etc

applesin · 21/09/2018 02:02

This happened to me in my first pregnancy, I have 35 day long cycles and so expected to be a week earlier than they thought but no one would hear it.

To my surprise I was somehow two weeks earlier! So 10 weeks instead of 12. I had to come back for a scan a few weeks later so they could do the nuchal fold screening as 10 weeks is too early I think. So I got three scans that pregnancy.

I'm pregnant again, and honestly fully expect the same to happen again. They don't listen if you insist you know your body, it is so frustrating and very infantilising.

PerfectlyPosed · 21/09/2018 04:20

With my last pregnancy I had a scan at what turned out to be 9+6 weeks and then again at 12 weeks. It was nice to have that early reassurance.

Jengnr · 21/09/2018 04:25

I had an early scan at 6w 5d. They didn’t give me a 12 week scan as they dated the pregnancy at the early scan.

I paid for one at 12 to put my mind at rest.

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