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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you’ve got a tall thin partner and what your body size is?

37 replies

Jellybellytelly · 19/09/2018 21:39

I’ve been interested in someone for sometime now. He’s tall and thin. I’m short and overweight. I feel extremely insecure to approach him because I’m afraid to get rejected due to my body size.

Most tall thin guys I’ve seen are with partners who are tall and thin as well or petite. I rarely see them with overweight women. Don’t mean to generalise, just stating my observations.

Just want to know what the chances are of tall thin men being ok with an overweight women. I know that they may happen to accept all body sizes, but just wanted to know what is their preference. Just similar to how most men, prefer their women to be shorter and vise versa.

So just wanted to get a glimpse and know if you ended up with a partner who’s tall thin and what’s your body type. I’m afraid of rejection and planning to lose weight for so long, not for anyone but myself, but I’ve been fighting depression.

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 19/09/2018 21:40

My husband is taller than me- and I’m quite a tall woman. He is slim. I am fat. I weigh more than him my a good few stones. At my slimmest I probably weighed around the same as him. He doesn’t care.

Twotailed · 19/09/2018 21:41

Mines 6 foot 4 and thin as a rake. I’m a size 18 (and 5 foot 10).

It really depends on the individual!

I hope your depression improves Flowers

Original poster
Jellybellytelly · 19/09/2018 21:42

Thanks

OP posts:
cadburyegg · 19/09/2018 21:46

My DH is 6’5 and slim, I’m 5’2 and overweight

BobLemon · 19/09/2018 21:48

Hello! You’re describing me and my partner :)

He’s 6’4” and very skinny - 12 stone if he’s had a big dinner!

I however am 5’4” and considerably rounder. I weigh 11st6lb at the moment - probably similar to when we got together. We are rather contrasting...

His ExW was even shorter and rounder than me!

But anyway - we didn’t get together because of how either of us looked. HTH.

froufroulala · 19/09/2018 21:49

Mine is 6 feet 2 and 11 stone. I am 5 feet 6 and am now 11 stone 5. I was at my heaviest 17 stone. I hope he loves me for me iyswim not my weight. Hope you feel better soon.

mumgointhroughtorture · 19/09/2018 21:50

My ex was 6ft and a 30" waist , I was a size 14-16 when I was with him. My now boyfriend is a 30" waist , shorter and smaller build than my ex and I'm a 16-18 now. His ex girlfriend he spent 4 years with was a size 22-24. He prefers bigger women !

AlpineButterfly · 19/09/2018 21:50

Dh is 6ft7 and somewhere round 12/13st. Skinny - not an ounce of fat but his shoulders are broad.

I'm 5ft4 and about 11st4.

His height makes me feel less big than I am, I think. But I think my waist size is bigger than his Blush

I'd like to lose the extra stone but his eating habits don't help and nor does my craving for sugar with having two under two

Sunnysidegold · 19/09/2018 21:50

He s 6 foot 2 and wiry. I'm 5 foot 9 and look like a busted sofa

Schroedingerscatagain · 19/09/2018 21:51

Husband 6’2” long limbed and slim, me 4’11” and round

I see couples like us all the time, opposites attract, as my dear mum used to say ‘we’re all the same height lying down’Grin

EnFlique · 19/09/2018 21:51

He is 6ft and skinny
I am 5’9 and size 18
He cares not a joy what size I am.

mindutopia · 19/09/2018 21:54

My dh is 6’5. I’m also tall but definitely not thin. Tall men as a rule definitely aren’t attracted to models. In fact, all the ones I dated almost exclusively seemed to date women who were quite short and curvy. Me being tall was quite a novelty.

ComtesseDeSpair · 19/09/2018 22:04

Approach him. Get to know him. Ask him out. What have you got to lose? You aren’t dating him now so if he turns you down, you’re just in exactly the same position. And if he’s a nice sort, he’s not going to say “no way would I date you because you’re a fatty!” - he’ll kindly and gently say that he’s not looking for a relationship / is seeing or interested in somebody else / other perfectly polite reason (which may even be true.)

Of all the really tall men I know, I can’t say there’s any generalisation to make about their partners’ appearances. One of my best friends is 6’2” and his wife is, and has always been, somewhere around a size 18. His previous partner was slimmer. Dude I’m currently seeing is 6’4” and all lean muscle and I’m a size 6. His previous partner was larger.

Slimmer people who are slim because they are body conscious, do a lot of exercise, are into healthy eating etc might prefer a slimmer partner who they have those things in common with but I’d imagine men who don’t really put much thought or effort into maintaining a lean build are possibly less particular about a partner who does.

TheActualLastJedi · 19/09/2018 22:05

People probably look at me and DH and think "what is he doing with her?" 😳

He's 6'4" lean and muscular and devishly handsome with a gorgeous mixed race skin tone.

Me, well I'm facially pretty but I'm 5"2 as pale as the driven snow with auburn hair, and a curvy hourglass figure (lately after a missed miscarriage a bit chubbier than normal)

I'm punching well above my weight, but we love one another and are very much attracted to one another.

Don't judge a book by it's cover, you may be just the type of lady he is looking for.

nikkylou · 19/09/2018 22:05

I'm much bigger than my partner. I'm about 5"3 and he's about 6ft I think but he's much thinner.
Since we met it's been the same.
He'd probably prefer me thinner and tbh so would I. I don't think he notices in the same way I do though.
If the someone you have your eye on likes you, then your size won't stand in the way. In all honesty, if they don't feel the same way, then losing weight won't change that, iyswim. If it did, would you really want to live worrying that your partner would dislike you if put on a couple of pounds?

TheFluffyHippo · 19/09/2018 22:09

My husband is short and round like me, but I have a couple of exes who were very tall and slim.

Different people are attracted to different things. Just because he’s tall and thin doesn’t mean he’s only interested in tall, thin women

Courtney555 · 19/09/2018 22:15

Ex DP was 6'2, very slim and athletic build.

I'm 5'5, size 6, ( implants though, so I look curvy ish) and DP was only ever going on about feeding me up. He'd openly comment about how sexy he thought a full figured woman was. If he had his way, I'd have been double the size.

You sometimes find that tall, slim men, have been the "telegraph pole" or the "bean pole" in the playground, and so they are almost conditioned to see smaller and fuller as a preferred body type.

He'll notice what's on the outside, of course. But he'll fall for what's on the inside. Good luck!!

hula008 · 19/09/2018 22:18

My DP is bigger like me (although still smaller than I am - tbh he's more muscular), but I'm a size 22/24 and have had partners/boyfriends/dates of all sizes in the past (thick, thin, short, tall, everything!).

Hope this makes you feel more confident ❤️

MrsStrowman · 19/09/2018 22:20

DH is six four and was under eleven stone when we got together (a little underweight tbh) I'm five eight and was just over fourteen stone, with long messy curly brown/red hair, his exes were all tall slim well groomed blondes. I had the same concerns as you, it never bothered him and he married me not them. After a few years I went on a big health kick (for me) and lost about four stone and pretty much kept it off for a good five six years, but every now and then after a long holiday or Christmas I'd gain a few pounds, half a stone at most and would know when I'd gained weight because he would become more 'handsy' day to day, so it certainly didn't bother him. Now I'm heavily pregnant and feel vast but he's just happy and excited 🤷

WardrobeMalfunction · 19/09/2018 22:25

DH runs marathons and is 6 foot. I'm a size 24.

peachgreen · 19/09/2018 22:30

My husband is 6' and slim (and really bloody handsome), I'm a size 20-22. He'd never dated a fat woman before me so I'm not his "type" but it was love at first sight for both of us and honestly, my size has never mattered (in fact he loves my bum!). I spent my whole early twenties in a shit relationship because I assumed nobody good would ever like me but DH is literally my dream man and fell for me at my heaviest.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 19/09/2018 22:33

DH is taller than me but that’s not hard because I’m tiny Grin He’s thin and I’m thin and petite, but to be honest, you can’t generalise this stuff. Everyone has their own personal preferences.

ItsLikeNew · 19/09/2018 22:33

Dh is 6', when we met he was skinny as a rake( in a lovely sexy way) I was a large size 16. in the last 20 years I've also been a small size 12 , 14, 16, 18, 20. DH stayed slim up until he filled out a little a couple of years ago.

Make eye contact and get to know him, what have you got to lose?

GreenMeerkat · 19/09/2018 22:34

I'm 5ft 1 so most men are tall to me. DH is 6ft 1 but broad and muscly so not skinny. My ex however, was 6ft 5 and like a rake. I was probably a size 10 when I was with him (3 pregnancies later and I'm a little rounder now!).

I really don't think there's a standard rule that tall skinny men like tall skinny women. It's entirely down to individual taste.

flirtygirl · 19/09/2018 22:37

My husband was 6 foot 4 and handsome. I'm fat, curvy in a good month, fat in normal month, now I'm mahoosive. I've put on 21 pounds since July. So going to get healthier again.

But yep I've seen loads of skinny men with fat or very big wives and girlfriends.

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