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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be slightly fed up of white people doing this

454 replies

TacoLover · 19/09/2018 07:00

Every time there is a thread discussing racism, there will be a mention of white privilege. Cue a flurry of hurt posters writing essays about how stupid the idea of white privilege is and how it doesn't exist, because their lives are so hard and they grew up on a few pieces of bread and a Red BullGrin

This really gets on my tits because after seeing this shit time and time again, THIS ISN'T WHAT WHITE PRIVILEGE MEANS. It doesn't mean your life isn't hard, it doesn't mean you don't face barriers in your life. What it does mean is the barriers in your life will never or hardly ever be a result of the colour of your skin. It doesn't mean you live in a mansion because you're white.

Just needed to get that out,sorry. I'm sure my only replies will be white people telling me how racist I am for only targeting them(Even though this is something that only white people do)Grin

OP posts:
MessyBun247 · 19/09/2018 07:59

The posters saying they find threads about white privilege ‘tiresome’ 😂 Can’t you see?! That’s the whole point of white privilege!

Oh yes, ‘I’m all bored and offended by people pointing out my white privilege so let’s all stop talking about it now.’

You are in a privileged position as a white person where you don’t experience racism, so don’t tell other people who DO experience racism and are at a daily disadvantage to stop talking about the issues that effect them because you are ‘bored’ of listening about it. Go and educate yourself.

PeakPants · 19/09/2018 08:00

Is it? Because I’m pretty sure a black guy driving an expensive car is far more likely to experience police harassment and potentially violence than a white guy in a nice car.

Most black people stopped by the police are not rich owners of expensive cars. They also tend to be socially disadvantaged. Yes, I know you get the odd viral video about some US district attorney being pulled over but, generally, the police will pick on black people who are living in relative poverty.
Yes, as a black man, you would be more likely to experience racism. But how do you rank your rich black man in relation to a working-class disabled man? Or a middle-class gay woman? It just becomes a mish-mash of different identities, each claiming that it has it worst.

surferjet · 19/09/2018 08:00

I’ve worked with plenty of black people over the years - many of whom were in very senior positions - they were never mistaken for the one of the support staff Hmm & I’m going back 20 years.

MIdgebabe · 19/09/2018 08:01

Have not rtt but I discovered recently that some people's brains can't really understand things for which you need to understand behaviours across a class ...which is required to understand white priveldged
This may be due to poor education, or it may be more fundamental., and I don't know how widespread it is

DukeOfSussex · 19/09/2018 08:01

I can honestly say the most shocking thing I've seen this week is that someone didn't know who Oprah was.

LyndorCake · 19/09/2018 08:02

Being a white female, I don't know what life is like for a black female (or male for that matter). I do live with a white male so I see how he is treated differently from me on a daily basis and that annoys me. I can only imagine how that feeling is hugely reinforced for black people. Of course white privilege exists. It's ignorant to think otherwise. Totally with you OP.

DukeOfSussex · 19/09/2018 08:02

Most black people stopped by the police are not rich owners of expensive cars. They also tend to be socially disadvantaged. Yes, I know you get the odd viral video about some US district attorney being pulled over but, generally, the police will pick on black people who are living in relative poverty.

It's precisely because they're driving naice cars black people often get pulled over. Must be drug dealers. Must have stolen it.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 19/09/2018 08:03

surfer how do you know this? Do you think people say every time something like that happens?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/09/2018 08:03

Whereas I have worked with plenty of black people over the years, from the mid 80s on, and have a few 'amusing' stories about visiting reps shooing the boss out of the room with a terse "You can leave those" whilst he was being polite and offering them tea or coffee!

So that doesn't prove anything either, does it?

DukeOfSussex · 19/09/2018 08:04

This may be due to poor education, or it may be more fundamental., and I don't know how widespread it i

Very highly educated people frequently struggle with it, so I assume it's down to being a bit of an arse.

dangermouseisace · 19/09/2018 08:04

YADNBU. It must be incredibly frustrating.

If you are white people make judgements based on clothing, accents, mannerisms etc. These can all be changed/modified.

If people are making judgements based on your skin colour there is no way that can be changed. And racism really does exist.

Bullnoway · 19/09/2018 08:05

Not unreasonable at all OP. Some people are idiots and some are assholes. Regrettably.

thedancingbear · 19/09/2018 08:05

I’ve worked with plenty of black people over the years - many of whom were in very senior positions - they were never mistaken for the one of the support staff hmm & I’m going back 20 years.

I saw it happen, a few times.

Are you suggesting I'm lying?

I don't understand why so many people are keen to deny the experience of black people (actually I do understand, it's pretty fucking plain).

BillywigSting · 19/09/2018 08:05

Yanbu and I'm as white as they come, but I've seen first hand my privilege.

My best friend in school was black and there were some genuine gobshites in that school.

We both were bullied, but I was never bullied for the colour of my skin.

I was never attacked for it either.

newtlover · 19/09/2018 08:08

YANBU

PeakPants · 19/09/2018 08:08

OK, Duke. I am really not disputing that racism exists. It is endemic. I just question how far we get when we just talk about the privilege of certain groups, while ignoring that the real privilege is having money. We can never quantify or rank privilege, but we can note that people of colour, women, disabled people etc are much less likely to have money than white males. That is where I think identity politics are important. Not the way they are used in today's rhetoric.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 19/09/2018 08:08

duke

I was once out with someone who thought it was very funny that her husband had said that a black man in a posh car was 'obviously a drug dealer'

She thought we would all find it just as funny...we didnt

But the offense DWB (driving while black) is a 'thing' and it has happened to relatives of mine...i dont know any white people that have been stopped for no reason although i know it has happened

Shambu · 19/09/2018 08:09

Yy to BloodyBridget

Class trumps race apparently. Why? Because some posters have experience of being poor but not of being being BME. And of course their experience is more important anyone else's.

Andy why the red herring of wealthy black women? There are loads of poor black women with neither the privilege of class nor race.

kungfupannda · 19/09/2018 08:09

I think part of the problem is that a lot of people think the word 'privilege' has a much narrower and more specific meaning than it does, ie wealthy.

We say 'white privilege' and 'male privilege' but we don't qualify the word when we're talking about general lifestyle advantage. We don't say 'wealth privilege.' That use of the word has become the default, and that's what people tend to argue against.

So, while I think a lot of people are arguing the toss because they'd just rather not think of themselves as 'privileged', for some people it might just be a language issue. I suppose there's not much you can do, other than say 'no, that's not what white privilege means' and explain. If they're still arguing that it doesn't exist, then you know they're a lost cause.

Lana1234 · 19/09/2018 08:09

Yanbu! I’m white and it wasn’t hard to understand

TrickyKid · 19/09/2018 08:09

YANBU but I've had to learn about it so would've been guilty of saying the same in the past.

Tomatoesrock · 19/09/2018 08:10

Yanbu. I was not aware of white privilege until MN. I personally would never treat a person different based on their skin colour. I agree it happens.

Ive explained white privilege to my older nieces and nephews. I am not saying there is no racism in Ireland it is everywhere, but the teenagers I know are all friends regardless of skin colour. I think the generations are changing, My DGFs were racist. My parents were not. It is disgusting.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 19/09/2018 08:10

AIBU to be slightly fed up with white people being lumped together as a homogenous group and being racially slurred because it's ok to do if the target is white?

nakedscientist · 19/09/2018 08:11

BUT I think that this focus on privilege (male/white/cis/straight/able etc) takes the attention away from the real problem, which is class and access to resources. It leads to a load of snippy in-fighting about who has it worst and who is the most disadvantaged

An interesting and intelligent analysis.

My view is that we are all the human race and as soon as we stop splitting ourselves into factions the better.

SoupDragon · 19/09/2018 08:12

AIBU to be slightly fed up with white people being lumped together as a homogenous group and being racially slurred because it's ok to do if the target is white?

Hardly relevant given it will only be white people who try to clak white privileged doesn’t exist. Not all white people will do it but only white people will.