breastfeeding at 5 (and above?)

[cleopatracomingatya]

fully expecting to get some extreme opinions here.

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/7286609/mum-breastfeeds-five-baths-naked-normal-break-stigma/

This is the article (and the bath photo is disturbing enough for me as it is)

interested to see the general consensus on this. AIBU to think this is just... no!!

Try searching for Max Smith. See if you find the same pictures.

I don't get your point. His friends will google his name. If he has the same surname is his mum then his friends will find the pictures. Unless he's actually called Max Smith and then they'll find this thread.

In all seriousness, what am I missing? It's a fair assumption he shares his mum's name but let's hope he doesn't so the articles aren't linked back to him.

It's not for me. I BF DD until about 16 months which was enough for me. If people want to until later that's perfectly fine but don't put your story in a tabloid! I feel a bit sorry for the boy as he's too young to agree to the story and photos being in there.
As for GOSH reporting a woman to SS for BFing her 3 year old that is just wrong. There are plenty of reasons to report to SS but that is not a valid one.

Consent consent consent

I've only highlighted this one^ but there countless posts here criticising the mother using a photograph of her child 'without consent.'

How many people here routinely ask their child's consent before uploading their image to FB and Instagram?

I mean, I get that this is a newspaper piece/a blog, but the principle is the same - using an image of a child without their consent for inclusion on social media.

How many people saying 'consent' actually get their child's consent? Once images are out there, they're out there. The size of the audience is different, the context is different, but again, the principle is arguably the same.

She’s just shown a total disregard for her child’s privacy. That picture is now on the Internet forever now, for future schoolmates, colleagues, partners to stumble upon after googling his or his mum’s name

The same could be said for God knows how many millions of images of kids on their parents' social media. Not naked - although sometimes they are - maybe not breast-feeding; but still the same principle.

To draw a breastfeeding-related line in the sand for a child's consent to become a live issue risks appearing somewhat judgmental and making breastfeeding the incendiary issue.

I'm still mulling it over, actually. These ^ are my nascent thoughts

"What a weird memory breast feeding from your mother would be"

Actually - what a wonderful memory!!

My 7yrs old stopped breastfeeding when she was 5yrs old and still has fond memories of that time.
Why would it be weird?
Do you find memories of naked bath times with parents or siblings weird? Or of sharing beds with parents/siblings? Having fond memories doesn't mean you want to do it again when you're an adult!

It’s people’s own business how long they breastfeed their children. I’ve had people say to me that feeding over the age of 1 is too old (which is fucking ridiculous) so it just goes to show everyone has their own idea of what is acceptable. I actually think it’s a lovely photo, but she has no business sharing it with the world - I am sure her son will not appreciate it in years to come. I see what people are saying about weaning around the time milk teeth fall out; I hadn’t heard it before. Does remind me a bit of that kid from Game of Thrones though 😬

Wow, how attention seeking is she? If you want to do extended breastfeeding then do it! Don't publish the photos in a crappy national newspaper!

What is weird is flogging your pics to a tabloid for the masses to gawp over.

Oblada, as long as you both were happy to do it, that's fine, I bet you did it in private though.

I don't find it disgusting.
But why do we all need to see it? If you and your kid are happy, great! Crack on but nobody else needs to know about it.

I find it sick that she’d give these images to a newspaper. There’s something really unsettling about the bath photo. Nothing to do with being naked or sharing a bath, it’s the act of recording it. Why would you take pictures of this?

I would also worry that my son would see me in a functional way and nothing more, if that makes sense. As though my role would be milk-provider and soother. I wouldn’t want him to see me in that light. I want to be the one who encourages him to be an independent, well balanced individual, not a milk machine.

It's a fair assumption he shares his mum's name

The odds are roughly 50/50.

But why do we all need to see it? If you and your kid are happy, great! Crack on but nobody else needs to know about it

Can't that be applied to about 95% of the stuff that people post about their family/DC on social media though?

I think her wish to normalize extended breastfeeding doesn't override her son's right to privacy.

Yes, I agree with this. Nothing wrong with bf a 5 year old but in a country where it's very rare she is singling him out for bullying and for his name to be forever googlable. Obviously if people don't do this then it will never normalize it so I get the dilemma but still think your child should come before your politics.

I think it’s odd but each to their own. I’m very pro bf, I fed DS1 til he was 15 months and I’m feeding DS2 who is 6 months.

I don’t agree that this normalises breastfeeding. I think it’s more likely to put them off actually - the majority of breastfeeding mums don’t feed to that age.

What a weird memory breast feeding from your mother would be

not if it's normal in your house. I have memories form when I was 2, I wouldn't say 2 is too old to bf.

It's completely different to sharing stuff on social media. The audience is much larger. my social media pages are restricted to friends and family only so not sure how me sharing baby pics is the same as splashing them across the pages of a newspaper.

What I was most surprised about with this article was the horror that she baths with her son. He's only 5! Surely it's not a big deal to be bathing with your dc at 5?

Weighing in with my thoughts:

1. if children continue to breastfeed, they want to. You can't force a child to feed. There are always posts from mothers asking for advice to wean because they have had enough and the child doesn't want to.
2. I think it's sad we think it's more normal/acceptable for 4/5 year olds to be sexualised than breastfeed, and use this as a reason why they are too old to feed.
3. Realistically posting in the Sun is probably more about attention than normalising longer term breastfeeding!

I couldn't personally do it but after watching docs about extended breast feeding it seems the children genuinely gain comfort from it and enjoy it so seems natural. I'm curious as to why the baths are a problem? Is that not normal?

Woah, I agree that the breastfeeding isn't really an issue here is everyone is happy with it.

The picture in the bath in a national newspaper though? No. That poor kid.

What is wrong with parents these days? There are going to be some very pissed off people when these children reach adulthood and realise that their most intimate moments are on the Internet forever.

It's completely different to sharing stuff on social media. The audience is much larger. my social media pages are restricted to friends and family only so not sure how me sharing baby pics is the same as splashing them across the pages of a newspaper

But the principle is the same - in my view. Your pages are restricted to F&F, but the images are still out there. How about someone who prefers to post to a slightly wider audience? Someone who uses Instagram more broadly? Or has a family website?

And then if they do, what really is the difference between social media and a newspaper website in terms of who can see it/access the images?

I haven't seen the same repeated calls for 'consent!' before - and Lord knows 'mummy blog' type things are discussed here enough.

I see nothing wrong in this at all and as much as I disagree with the photo being in the papers for all to see, I do actually think it’s a nice photo. Breast feeding is normal, it’s a lovely bond between a mother and her child and I really don’t see what there is to get worked up about.

I breast fed my first until he was about 2.5 years and stopped because we were trying to conceive a second child. That second child is now 13 months and breast fed and quite frequently ny now 4.5 year old will come up and kiss my nipple when his brother unlatched. He doesn’t ask to breast feed but he does tell me he remembers doing it and how nice it tasted and that he just wants to taste it again.

I can’t imagine actually breast feeding him at 4.5 years old but that’s probably because I stopped feeding him two years ago now, but I can understand how a woman can naturally find herself still happily breast feeding a much older because it’s just so natural and if there isn’t a specific reason to stop then why would she?

Women breast feed for a whole host of reasons and I don’t really think it’s our place to judge and criticise other women for the choices they make.

At what point does it actually become acceptable? Is there a line that one day it’s okay but the next day it’s not?

She says she only feeds him a few times a week so it’s hardly like he’s feeding 3-4 times a day, but even if he were then if that’s what suits them then leave them to it.

What I was most surprised about with this article was the horror that she baths with her son. He's only 5! Surely it's not a big deal to be bathing with your dc at 5?

My 7yo DD still hops in the bath with me now and again if she's passing the bathroom and hears the taps running, she'll stop soon I think as older DS did at a similar sort of age. My 5yo and the baby still go in with me a lot too.

I let my DC stop BF when they were ready, so far the longest I fed was to almost age 3 but youngest hasn't weaned yet so may or may not surpass that.

Each to their own, although I wouldn't be putting photos of it in The Sun becaise it's a shitty rag

Hmmm, I don’t know, I’m not breastfeeding anymore, I wanted my body back to myself, but I don’t really think it’s as weird as it is for us to drink milk meant for baby cows 🤷🏻‍♀️

To each their own. I personally wouldn't but then by 5 my children were causing mayhem and way to busy to stop and do anything let alone breastfeed but both naturally weaned at around 2. Not sure when I'd have taken it away if they didn't by themselves!

Not really sure where all this "No benefit" to the child comes from though, yes in the first few months of life breastfeeding is just about getting them "fed" but there are huge health benefits beyond that stage hence why the WHO suggest breastfeeding for at least two years, which by then, they should have all of their nutritional needs by solid food.

It provides antibodies, vitamins, calcium etc.