To feel a bit hmm about this comment from boss

[Peanutss]

I've suffered from recurrent miscarriages in the past year. It's been shitty. Truly shitty.

I admit I've had time off work. In total I've had about 3 weeks off spread out over the year. Work have been kind and have paid me for sick leave when technically they didn't have to. I am grateful for this.

I've decided to leave my job and go onto something else. I've been unhappy in my work for a while, before this started, and it's given me a spur to get on with what I want to do.

When having my exit meeting with my current employer he said 'we have obviously cut you a lot of slack recently' referring to the time off with my miscarriages.

I was a bit hurt by this. I've worked for them for 5 years, I've only ever taken a couple of sick days before this year. I work hard, I don't take the mick. It made me feel like I was taking the piss but they've done me a favour by not calling me on it.

Like he was trying to say 'look what we've done for you when you've been such an inconvenience for us'.

I don't know if I'm just being oversensitive though but it stuck with me and it's been grating me ever since!!!

If you are signed off they weren’t ‘cutting you slack’ at all. They were paying you the sick pay you were due. It was a stupid, belittling thing to say.

Macmillan dictionary definition:
cut/give someone some slack
PHRASE INFORMAL
to be less strict with someone
Cut him a little slack – his father just died.

I think it comes from sailing / ships terminology. Giving someone a slack rope, not a tightly held rope.

You are being over-sensitive - but understandably so.

The note from my Dr was actually for three weeks but I came in for the last week.

Yet another thread where so many MNers display a really unpleasant attitude to employees. I’m not surprised so many people think it’s not worth their while returning to work if they have to put up with this kind of shit.

OP, I’m so sorry for your losses (fellow recurrent miscarriage sufferer here), yes, he was unpleasant and unnecessary and you’re well rid.

Good luck.

Also ‘cutting someone a lot of slack’ is not a neutral phrase - it is a way of saying you think someone isn’t doing something to your standard but you’re letting them off. It’s hardly an appropriate thing to say - oh you had two weeks off and I’d like to do a disciplinary really but I guess I’ll let you off cos you had a miscarriage. It’s not up to them to ‘let you off’ it’s totally reasonable to take time off for stress on such an event.

@RiverTam thank you. All the best to you

@PinguDance that's how I heard it which is why I was hurt after the meeting.

You don't owe them anything. I've seen it before some companies feel that you should have some loyalty and can't understand why you would want to leave. 5 years is a long time to be employed your more than entitled to move if you want to. Your employer is a knob for saying that but ignore and know you did the right thing who wants to work for a boss with that kind of understanding. Good luck in your new job.

Actually I've just googled and to be fair I think there is a difference between saying 'cutting some slack' and that a person is slacking

There's a huge difference: to cut someone some slack means to make allowances for them on account of their difficult circumstances.

The idiom doesn't remotely imply that the person in question was 'slacking off'.

and your boss says "we've let you slack off"

That's not what he said. You've made that up, for some bizarre reason.

I’m not surprised so many people think it’s not worth their while returning to work if they have to put up with this kind of shit

What kind of 'shit' has she put up with? The OP says 'Work have been kind and have paid me for sick leave when technically they didn't have to. I am grateful for this', followed by "My employer is nice, they aren't awful. I'm not trying to say they are"

Why are people making stuff up on this thread?

I’m sure over the five years there, there were times when you cut them some slack, working late, going above and beyond.
To be dismissive of your losses as if they were anything other than a medical emergency is poor form.
You know you’re doing the right thing moving on.

SheCame her boss saying he’s cut her some slack when she’s had recurrent miscarriages is shit. It suggests that she’s been performing below par for no reason at all and he’s been doing her a favour by still employing her. Sounds pretty shit to me. But I’m also generally commenting on what some MNers have been saying on employment threads recently.

@jay55 yes, I've often taken work home or stayed behind. I am in early every single day.

When you say someone is slacking or you're 'picking up someone's slack' does it not mean that that person is failing in some way?

Yes it does but those two uses of the word slack are totally different to the one he used.

"Cutting someone some slack" is a metaphor comparing ones treatment of someone with the practice of loosening a restraining rope so that someone has the means to safely manoeuvre a difficult object. The metaphor is apt because sometimes in life we need people to bend the rules a little for us (eg by ignoring the rule of not paying employees sick pay in certain circumstances) to help us through a difficult time.

"someone is slacking" means that someone isn't doing their job properly

"picking up someone's slack" means that you are doing someone's work they haven't done.

Neither of them mean anything like what your boss said.

You are trying to put words in this guy's mouth.

@BalloonSlayer and if you read my 2nd comment underneath I said that actually I realise that they mean different things when looking into it more.

^^Yes, this. 'Cutting slack' in this context means 'we have not applied our policies as exactly as we otherwise would because of our sympathy for your situation'.

OP, if you've been having meetings for a while that have revolved around you possibly leaving, there may be a bit of disappointment and possibly frustration coming through in this comment. I think that's OK, tbh. Your boss is human.

I've had six mcs, so I do get it (and in answer to your question, I largely worked through mine, except for the days off for ERPCs etc and the one I had when I was with a pretty awful employer and took some time off because I did not need the extra pressure. Not advocating 'working through' as a general course of action, btw, just answering the question). But I don't think it's fair to make this comment into something about your miscarriages being belittled or disrespected - and, more importantly, I don't think it's helpful to you. Let it go (cut him some slack, as someone above rightly said - i.e. suspend your standards re sensitive comments a little due to the situation around you leaving and your boss' disappointment) and go on to the next thing.

Sorry Peanutss I didn't see that second post!

@AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight sorry to hear you've been through this too.

Yes I've said I'm open to it being me who's being oversensitive. I accept that. I just thought it was an odd choice of words given the severity (to me) of the situation.

But I can see what I heard and what he meant are probably two different things.

I think he was trying to say that they had paid you when they didn't have to and hoped that would persuade you to stay and he was dissapointed you didn't.

There was no need for him to say what he said in the exit interview though. Too late for it to matter.