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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she's being a right CF?

503 replies

itchybumhole · 17/09/2018 13:50

A bit of background first, and I'll try my best to give all the relevant information, but as I don't know much about the workings of the system I'm unsure what I need to include.

My partner split with his wife 3 years ago after 13 years together and 7 years of marriage. They have an 11 year old child together. Their marriage ended very acrimoniously after a series of infidelities on her part.
When they separated he immediately moved out of the family home with just his personal belongings and stayed with his parents until he could find a rental place. Since leaving he has paid her child maintenance by private agreement on a weekly basis.

She has today received a letter from HRMC saying she needs to repay tens of thousands of pounds in overpaid tax credits. The tax credits were paid to her during the time that he had left the family home. (He's always worked full time. When he left she went on to benefits. She hasn't worked in 13 years apparently).
The notice says that if she claimed as a couple then both parties must repay, so she called him today and said he's liable for half. His answer was... but how can I be? I have receipts for rent paid to my own house. I didn't benefit from this overpayment so why should I pay half back?
We're both so confused. What does he do now? I've told him to call HRMC but he's still smarting from the phone call from his ex wife. We're these benefits claimed fraudulently? And is he liable to repay half as she insists?
Thank you for any help or advice.

OP posts:
SmurfandTurf · 17/09/2018 20:44

Jesus, I'm not sure why smurf is attacking you so viciously, but if need to assume someone not only pissed on her chips today, but had a crap as well

It just winds me up that she can’t see that her lovely dp has left his ex wife in a shot situation and thinks he’s justified because ‘she was a psycho’

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 20:45

He caused all this to happen by applying for the loan

Seriouslu, you need to calm down, if it's just the loan application it should fixable, he can prove he lived elsewhere, it's no biggie.

.

Lookatyourwatchnow · 17/09/2018 20:46

@SmurfandTurf how on earth do you figure that the DP has left his ex wife in a shit situation? All that's happened is that she's committed benefit fraud and tried to implicate him. Aw, poor her Hmm

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 20:48

It just winds me up that she can’t see that her lovely dp has left his ex wife in a shot situation and thinks he’s justified because ‘she was a psycho’

This has clearly hit a nerve for you, you're reading something into this that's not there. Can I suggest you Step away and try to calm yourself.

sparklelike · 17/09/2018 20:52

This is a bit messy really, it seems like the gist of it is that his actions triggered the investigation, but she's made mistakes subsequently in claiming to be single. I certainly wouldn't sign anything until I knew who and what HMRC were accusing and had professional advice. If she is manipulative etc, he needs independent advice.

Who would he get advice from if HMRC won't talk to him?

Walkingdeadfangirl · 17/09/2018 20:53

Crikey Smurf is going full bunny boiler.

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 20:57

Yeah it's a bit odd really.

theworldistoosmall · 17/09/2018 21:01

How has she been left in a shit position though? The loan was applied for within a year after he left because quite likely, he didn't want to live with someone who fucks about.
If she hadn't committed fraud, she wouldn't be in this shit now. All her doing.

She either claimed as a single parent whilst her new man was living there undeclared.
Or her and the new man fucked up the claim.
Either way not the ops dp problem.

If the ex cannot give HMRC documents, you think they cannot see where he is registered to work? She won't have to pay anything if she hasn't done anything. They will have ways to find shit out because of deadbeats who completely disappear and leave a lot of shit behind.

And as for the letter, he may have refused to sign because the dates would have implicated him.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 17/09/2018 21:02

Hope it gets sorted OP. I have no idea why people have it in for your DP. He made a loan application for an unsecured loan on his own home, he just wasn’t living there at the time. I don’t see how this makes him a liar/playing to a script/committing fraud.

And the loan was declined!

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 17/09/2018 21:07

It's not just fraudulent but it's caused HMRC to think that the ex has committed fraud. Because he applied for the loan, they have assumed that he lives there and that therefore her claim should be a joint one. Meanwhile she has put in a single claim, because she was single.

SmurfandTurf · 17/09/2018 21:09

@SmurfandTurf how on earth do you figure that the DP has left his ex wife in a shit situation? All that's happened is that she's committed benefit fraud and tried to implicate him. Aw, poor her hmm

Where did she commit benefit fraud?

He left her.
She was a single parent.
She claimed benefits as a single parent.
He applied for a loan using her address.
Now she’s getting investegated for fraud.
Because he applied for the loan they think he lived there.
He didn’t.
She was a single parent.
She was entitled to the benefits.
He’s stopping her being entitled.
By not giving her the proof.
To give to the tax credits office.
That he didn’t live with her.
When she was claiming as a single parent.
Which she was.
If she has to pay them back.
He’s won!
So he’s basically got the control back.

Ffs are all the divvys out tonight? Why is it so hard to understand?

You all see ‘benefit fraud’ and I can see what stereotypes jump to your tiny little minds.

itchybumhole · 17/09/2018 21:09

He's out of the 'talk'. He says he's coming over here tonight so is on his way now. He said she's been commuting benefit fraud and will fill me in on the details when he gets here. He says he's screenshot the full breakdown of her entitlement and it's there in black and white.
She wants him to pay half because he 'effectively shopped her' with the loan application. She played the 'don't take food from your daughter's mouth' card.

OP posts:
HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 17/09/2018 21:11

And he absolutely should sit down and go through what she needs with her. Because she was entitled to put in a single claim, so the money, which is also for his child, was rightfully hers. If he doesn't back her up on this she'll have to pay back money that she was lawfully entitled to. She'll have to pay it back because of his fraudulent loan application. And that means that money going into the household to support his child will either be reduced or withdrawn altogether. Because of his loan application.

FunSponges · 17/09/2018 21:12

This really isn't that complicated.

He lived there and worked, they weren't eligible for tax credits due to his earnings.
They split and he moved out.
She made a claim for tax credits as a single parent (would be child, the fact the letter doesn't state this doesn't mean anything).
She moved a partner in, didn't declare a change of circumstances and kept claiming as a single parent.
They have found out and want their money back.

It's very simple. It has sod all to do with a loan application. Tax credits would not be affected by a loan. She is trying it on completely. She committed benefit fraud by claiming as a single parent when she lives with a partner. This has nothing to do with your OH and he needs to tell her to jog on. His name would be on the letter if he was any part of it.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 17/09/2018 21:13

How did he "shop her"? That makes no sense.

theworldistoosmall · 17/09/2018 21:15

FFS the loan was over 2 years ago. They will want evidence from the last financial year. So a year or so AFTER he applied for the loan.

If he won't give her proof because he's being an arse or he wasn't there, she tells them this and they look more. If he was not contactable anymore because he was one of those deadbeats, further investigation would have to be done. She could give them his details and they could contact him directly to clear this up.

To owe tens of thousands, this spans more than a couple of months. It spans when her new man was living there.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 17/09/2018 21:16

Tax credits are absolutely affected by any financial activity that leaves a footprint at an address. When he made the loan application, it was recorded by credit reference agencies that he lived there. HMRC will from time to time cross check their records with those of credit reference agencies and the electoral roll to see if the information matches. In this case, the information won't have matched because they'll have found a single claim with a credit record for another adult at the same address. Because of the fraudulent loan application.

HerRoyalNotness · 17/09/2018 21:18

I guess she figures if he hadn’t applied for the loan using his previous residence then nothing would have flagged up and she wouldn’t have been investigated.

A few years back, DHs ex had a letter asking to repay TC. It was cleared up by DH writing a letter stating she was the RP of their DD and always had been since xyz. It may be a simple thing for your DP to do the same, write letter, he moved out on x date. As he didn’t have permanent address he applied for loan y date. But was no longer living there. If that is what it’s all about in the end (may clear the first year up for her) doesn’t sound like it.

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 21:18

I suspected that's what it was op, she's been claiming for benefits when the new guy was living there. The loan is irrelevant. It was just after he moved out and was declined. He can easily prove he wasn't living there.

SmurfandTurf · 17/09/2018 21:20

How did she know about the loan? Op herself has clarified that her dp never told his ex. Did she just guess? Is she a magician?

Of course Op will come back and say she’s been claiming benefits fraudulently the whole time, as that paints her dp as she wants us all to see him. Doesn’t mean it’s the truth. I’d stake my new loan in ops address on that.

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 17/09/2018 21:20

And we know that this is what has happened because the ex said that HMRC told her about the loan. She didn't previously know about the loan. No one did. So she can only have found out about it from HMRC. So they have told her that it's the loan application that has caused the problem. She can't be making that up because there is no other way she would have got the information.

BlackWatchBelle · 17/09/2018 21:22

Its sounds like the loan is a red herring really, the moving a partner in would do it. She must have been getting a massive amount of benefits to be tens of thousand owing, or she was claiming while thsy were still together

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 17/09/2018 21:26

So she's been claiming whilst the new partner was living there. But because his loan flagged up a discrepancy she thinks he should pay half as she wouldn't have been caught out otherwise?

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 21:26

Of course Op will come back and say she’s been claiming benefits fraudulently the whole time, as that paints her dp as she wants us all to see him

Ehrm, do you want to tell us all what's going on with you and why you're attacking her like this, because this just bizzare.

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 21:28

She didn't previously know about the loan

I'd assume the loan company wrote to him at that address, as is the norm Confused

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