To just get rid of it all?

[Hoardernomore]

So far this week I’ve got rid of 18 bags of rubbish / recycling / stuff for charity shop from our average sized house. I’m still going.
I’ve got rid of christening cards, scan photos, wedding cards, thanks you cards, Mother’s Day cards, baby memory boxes, new baby stuff and momentoes. All gone. Drawings by the kids, photos, hand made stuff from school and nursery.
Also gone are all my books and cds, toys my children don’t use, random stuff we’ve accumulated like wires that I have no idea of their purpose anymore.
My gran died last year and she’d kept so much, and we had to chuck most of it. I’ve concluded it is all just stuff, at some point it has to be thrown away and actually it’s easier for me to do it than my children once I’m dead.

My friend thought I’d lost the plot when I told her everything had gone. Aibu? I just think it’s stuff. It’s all pointless really.

I have a close friend in her 80s...she gets rid of everything so that her family don’t have a big job when the time comes.

I had to laugh because the not keeping too many photos has extended to her iPad and iPhone.

Our local charity shop does take videos, but I suspect they're purchased primarily by hoarders. I think a lot of the time with people's old crap, there is someone out there who wants it, but that someone has a problem!

People do still buy books, less than they did but it's still a reasonably big market, so I expect that's why they still get taken.

Anything unusable should go like VHS etc. IMO. I love throwing stuff out but the sentimental things are more of a dilemma. I have things like old concert stubs, cinema tickets etc. (a small memory box full) and I'm thinking of binning a lot of them. I'm thinking to myself, 'will I really care about this in the future?' Probably not. I'm quite good with books and clothes, I weed them pretty frequently but paper seems to accumulate. Also stuff in the bathroom and kitchen that seems useful but in reality is just taking up space.

My DM and DSF have absolutely loads of books (more than one copy of some) and loads more stuff in the attic. My DF has even more books and records, he never seems to get rid of any. Their houses make me feel kind of claustrophobic if I'm honest but obv that's up to them.

With something like your concert tickets and stubs I'd just take a photo.

YANBU. I haven't kept any of it and DS is only 2.5. I don't know where my most recent scan photo is, was taken 8 weeks ago.

@Hoardernomore how old is your son?

I get the declutter, I applaud it! But there are some precious things I would always want, it's fun to come across them sometimes! My Mum kept school items, and recently I visited a place I'd written about 30 years ago, -the only reason I remember this is because I kept coming across the piece of writing and was reminded of my 8 year old (bucketlist) wish! So I'm glad she kept it! The rubbish crayon drawings are junk tho. Keeping the "best/most memorable" stuff of my dc only.

I’ve been trying to get on with decluttering so I can see the appeal of a minimalist home.

But I think with sentimental things that can’t be replaced, there’s definitely a middle ground between binning everything and keeping it all.

Well I’d kept stuff from ds and dated it. I had things like where he’d had the first attempt at writing his name when he turned three, a note he wrote me when I had my daughter and several other things. I didn’t have that much as he’s never liked colouring or drawing. But I looked at it and thought why am I keeping this? It’s meaningless. So I chucked it!
I’m still going, I have another three boxes of stuff to go through and a couple of cupboards. Depressingly so far the house doesn’t look much less cluttered than when I started

I saved all of mine- about 15 large stacker boxes. Age 20 and 24 they went through them and kept less than 1 box each ! A lot of the stuff that I thought was sentimental they didn't even recall. It took us 2 days to go through and we had a lot of laughs but mostly I realised that they were my memories and not theirs.

I used post of my dds artwork as kindling.To be fair we kept it in a big drawer and she took bits off that she wanted to reuse and I used to through regularly in winter.
I am down to 4 bookcases and am still working on them but I like books.
I like that less clutter makes the house look cleaner with less effort.

@goingonabearhunt1 DH has stuck all his old ticket stubs in a couple of clip frames which are displayed in the downstairs loo. It's a nice talking point when people visit as they can then say get into chatting about gigs they have been to etc. I'd reccomend it.

For kids' artwork, I quite fancy getting one of these frames where you can keep up to 50 pictures in the frame and display one. 50 seems like enough (and I could always get one or 2 more):
www.amazon.co.uk/DaVinci-Picture-Artworks-Display-Artwork/dp/B075T77G9P?tag=mumsnetforum-21
I'm planning on keeping a few sentimental kids' things but nicely curated, ideally in a single box. We have a similar small box of stuff from our wedding.

I'm fairly minimalist whereas DH is relatively a bit of a hoarder. I wish we could get rid of all the CDs/DVDs/vinyl which we never use and just sit there, but we compromise and at least he's not accumulating more now that we stream films and music. I don't see the point in keeping books that have been read, and will not be reread either and I only use my Kindle and Audible now so they don't take up any room. I had a massive argument with him once about how we shouldn't keep a surplus cutlery holder in the attic "just in case". He said it might be useful if I broke up with him and he had to move out, which I didn't think was a great reason (we were newlywed and they only cost a couple of pounds plus you know if we ever needed one we'd forget that we had put one in the attic). I'm trying to avoid having too much stuff in the attic because what goes up must come down eventually and if we don't need it then why are we keeping it? Much better giving it to charity. So I'm with you OP

The point of keeping some of this stuff is not for the generation immediately after, but for future generations. I have a huge love of history, and to be able to hold the actual items, see the actual photos, it has a resonance that a digital image will never have.
I know you can't keep everything (I moved overseas and could take ten boxes. Total.), but it makes me sad that everything will be gone.

But then StrangeLooking - you need to keep things properly - photos in labelled in albums etc.. As you sometimes see on Antiques Roadshow - I remember someone came along once with an album of Victorian Christmas cards. Not just a scrappy jumble of clutter, which is what some ofthe above stuff almost certainly is.

As one of the professional declutterers said once, I think it was Dawna Walters, 'Does this make me smile?'. So some nice artwork by your children might well do; keeping a box of schoolbooks from the year you failed a set of exams, because your parents had just split up, and you couldn't concentrate,is more likely to make you miserable.

I'm like this. When my little boy grows out of shoes/clothes etc I bag them and take to charity shop. My other half rifles through them and takes out pairs of shoes etc to keep as keepsakes. I didn't know he did this until I opened his wardrobe door to be greeted with a cascade of 4 years worth of baby trainers/vests/clothes FFS!

Rn1986

My DD keeps her old dance shoes- she has close to 80 pairs! Some small sizes, but mostly pointe shoes that have lasted only a couple of days.

I applaud you OP I wish I could be more like you. I’ve been a terrible hoarder all my life and after losing my GM & DM I’ve acquired all their clutter and crap too and hate the idea of getting rid of it.
I’m slowly trying to be better and after bagging up clothes and emptying washing drying and re-bagging over and over again I’m eventually going through them and attempting to sell / donate what I can.

It’s a slow process and my home is stuffed with ‘storage’ cabinets, boxes, containers etc. It actually hurts to think of getting rid of everything I don’t need / have multiples of but I also know it’s not doing my mental health no good.

Well done OP x

You've thrown away stuff YOU have no further use for. Are there others in the family? Maybe THEY knew what that wire was for. Maybe some of YOUR clutter was THEIR memories.

Bravo. I'm a chucker-outer, like my space more than a load of old stuff. Did scan old artwork and stuff like that into the puter though first.

Nah I checked with my husband re the box of cables and wires. They’ve been there since we moved in ELEVEN years ago. I feel like if no one has needed them in eleven years they can probably go.

Keep going..... Both my parents have passed away and my family home hasn't been lived in for 3 years now and it's in another country to make matters more challenging. Waited a year following my father's death to start clearing it out and that was almost a year ago. I'm a hoarder but am trying desperately not to be as it only makes things more difficult for those you leave behind. I think you're completely right and wish I could be more like you..... but even reading this has encouraged me to start again!!! So thank you.

Are you suicidal op?
Serious question.

I still love stuff that I had as a child- books, photos and mementoes - did you not consider that your children might like them when they grow up?

I do understand as had to clear my mother's and aunt's houses and it's incredible the amount of stuff they had and my aunt especially was very minimalistic. But I think it's important not to erase your children's past. They could look upon it as them not being important enough to you. Not true, but the brain can do funny things to you, especially when parents are no longer around to give their side of the story.

My grandma is a hoarder. But she fell pregnant at 16, got chucked out of her home with nothing and could fit all
of her possessions in a stroller when she had to move out. So everything she receives is ‘make do and mend’.
I am proud of her for still having my mum against all odds and advice, and now we are here as a result.
I personally think abortion is selfish (how is it the babies fault?! Even if you give them up for adoption at least they have a life/chance)
I do think possessions can be a burden, but there’s a balance to be had.
In contrast I’m a little upset with my mum for binning all my childhood toys. It’s costing me a fortune to replace some of them!