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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask about your dh's vasectomy experiences?

56 replies

LokiBear · 16/09/2018 22:12

We have 2dds and we are done. A combination of our ages, a previous mmc, my poor health during pregnancy (hereditary blood pressure and cloting issues) and extortionate nursery fees make me feel that we need to make more permanent contreception choices. I cant have the coil and i've been advised against sterilisation due to endo/womb scarring/clubbed ovary issues. Im currently on the implant and, despite giving it 18 months, i'm having periods lasting 3 weeks, every two weeks. Dh is very nervous about having a vasectomy but we've talked and he accepts it is the best solution for us. He seemed pretty set, only now people have decided to tell him horror stories and he is panicking. His latest reason for waiting a little longer to go to the doctor is because he might need two weeks off of work to recover, however, I think this is an excuse. I can't go on much longer with the never ending periods, I cant go on the pill as the mood swings are unbearable. We've been together 16 years and in all that time, I have been the one to sacrifice my hormones and my body to either avoid pregnancy or to be pregnant. Im at the point where I am considering getting the implant out and telling him we are abstaining until he gets the snip. I am trying to be kind, understanding and patient, I havent yet lost my shit with him but I am close. Last ditch attempt is to regale him with positive stories. Anyone have any?

OP posts:

ghostyslovesheets · 16/09/2018 22:15

2 weeks off!

no it's minor surgery under local - my (ex) DH didn't enjoy the experience (but after 8 MC, 2 C sections and one full episiotomy with 68 stitches I found it hard to be sympathetic) and was a bit tender but he was back at work the next day

Somerville · 16/09/2018 22:18

DH drove home after his. I was there, but he felt fine.
He did get it done privately as it meant sooner/could have it done on a Friday/choose the surgeon himself/wasn’t especially expensive.

Best thing ever for our sex life!

dementedpixie · 16/09/2018 22:18

Dh had it done last year. Had a couple of days off work and then was ok to go back. He didn't have any complications and his sample showed he was free of sperm after about 4 months.

newtlover · 16/09/2018 22:19

DP was a bit uncomfortable for a few days but that was all
It did take ages (months) for him to get the all clear, so don't expect to give up on contraception straight away.
However have you considered barrier methods? we managed with diaphragm and/or condoms for years. If you would countenance a termination in the event of contraceptive failure, that would be an option.

However, for us, vasectomy was a great solution in the end

Babyroobs · 16/09/2018 22:19

My dh was just sore for a couple of days, no real problems at all. he was very quick to book if after number 4 was conceived.

hooveringhamabeads · 16/09/2018 22:23

My bf had his done this summer. He was in a fair bit of pain for 5 days pretty constantly, and his bollocks went black. After that he was mostly ok but with the odd day of pain meaning that he had to take painkillers. Wearing briefs as opposed to boxers definitely helps. 6 weeks on he still has the odd day where it’s a bit sore. I think the advice is to do as little as possible for a few days, if they try to just get on with things the pain is likely to be bad for longer.

ShatnersBassoon · 16/09/2018 22:23

I think DH went to work the day after, or possibly had it done on a Friday... I don't remember him having time off work to recuperate anyway.
His whole area was black and blue, but not hugely painful, more uncomfortable I think. There wasn't a lot of grumbling or complaining, but he would have taken painkillers and avoided anything strenuous.

CatsRule · 16/09/2018 22:24

My DH had it done on the Thursday, he took Friday off and was back at work on the Monday in a manual heavy lifting job. His colleagues were great (as he has been with them under these kind of circumstances) and that enabled him to ease off the heavy lifting for a few more days. All clear within 3 months too. He was a little tender straight after and I expected him to be worse but he was out and about the following day and said he felt fine. He just had to be careful to not let ds jump on him like he usually does!

austenozzy · 16/09/2018 22:24

I had a vasectomy and they didn’t use enough anaesthetic for the first cauterisation. Worst pain of my life for about a minute until they’d pumped more in and it had taken effect. Nurse at the op table said I went grey and thought I was going to pass out! Rest of op ok once I’d settled back down.

The bruising had to be seen to be believed. Whole area went purple, I thought it was some sort of surgical antiseptic until it didn’t wash off and I realised it was bruising!

V sore for a few days. After a week it was fine. Occasional twinge now, but all good otherwise.

I believe stats are that 1 in 12 experience issues either short or longer term.

Hope this helps! 😊

SpoonBlender · 16/09/2018 22:26

DFather said the worst part was the motorbike ride back. Silly arse.

MazDazzle · 16/09/2018 22:28

My DH was completely against a vasectomy, as was I, but after 3DC (2 emergency c-sections) we were done. I was worried I’d forget to take my pill, so went for the implant and lost my sex drive completely. DH changed his mind pretty quickly! As did I.

It was quick and painless. He felt a dull ache afterwards, which comes and goes, but Dr reassured him it’s just scar tissue.

Aquamarine1029 · 16/09/2018 22:30

Your husband is being fucking ridiculous. Tell him to stop acting like a fucking infant and get it done. You have done more than your fair share.

romany4 · 16/09/2018 22:30

DH had his 21 years ago.
Was sore and swollen for a couple of days with a bit of bruising. Was absolutely fine after that.

No residual pain, no problems.
He's never regretted the decision.

Thehop · 16/09/2018 22:31

Just remember the sample check

My dB was conceived 4 years after my poor dads 😂😂

Groovee · 16/09/2018 22:31

Dh had his 10 years ago. He took 5 days off as he's a manual worker. The hospital recommended that he take longer. If he'd had an office job he could have been back sooner.

Recovered well. No issues since and no pregnancies.

spreadingchestnuttree · 16/09/2018 22:34

The procedure was painless. He was uncomfortable for a day or two afterwards but nothing too bad. No regrets!

SleightOfMind · 16/09/2018 22:35

Placemarking so I can ask DH to post his view tomorrow it’s the best thing that ever happened to him!

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 16/09/2018 22:35

My DP just had it done a few days ago, he didnt have any pain throughout procedure just felt stuff happening but everyone was really good with chatting to him and kept him distracted was apparently having a good laugh. When he got home he felt fine he had some swelling around incision which was gone next day. Day after he felt a bit of discomfort but not in a great deal of pain and he has a really low pain threshold and loves a whinge but he's honestly been managing fine with ibuprofen and is happy he gets to lay about in bed most of the day.

StartingGrid · 16/09/2018 22:40

A customer of mine obviously felt right enough to tell me about it shortly after his

UsedBySomebodyAlready · 16/09/2018 22:53

My DH was told all sorts of horror stories but as having another child could've actually killed me he sucked it up like a big boy and booked in as soon as he could. He appeared to breeze through it and I have heard him complain more about toothache tbh. He was self employed in a manual job at the time and I think took one day off. As I recall he did a sperm sample after a month and it was clear. Best decision we/he ever made.

DN4GeekinDerby · 16/09/2018 22:55

My spouse had his 5 years ago, came home via taxi (medically can't drive anyways, said he would have been fine on the bus), was fine a couple days after other back soreness and impressive bruising, went through the two sample checks fine and has had no pain or concerns with his testicles since. He entirely recommends the snip, just to be aware it can take a while on the NHS depending on where you are and if there are any complicating factors and even stronger recommends refusing having a spinal over local if possible.

It took nearly a year from seeing the GP about it to the actual procedure due to a faff with lost paperwork and concerns about anesthetics due to my spouse's disabilities and size (tall big guy with nerve damage in multiple places and a history of blacking out) - and that the anesthesiologist on the day was a bit rude and ignored what had previously been recommended. The anesthesiologist insisted on a spinal which ended up not working, being administered again and in the end my spouse was given the local during the procedure that he was meant to get in the first place as it became clear he hadn't gotten enough. My spouse says the spinal was the most painful bit and took longer to recover from than the snip and warns others to be firmer on refusing that than he was - he was a bit thrown off as it had been between general and local, spinal hadn't come up in that year of dithering, and he just went with what was happening. His back hurt for a while but as for his testicles he always says that it hurt far more when our oldest kicked him there as a toddler than to get the snip.

MrsMoastyToasty · 16/09/2018 23:00

DH had his done as day surgery even though he had the additional complication of scar tissue from previous surgery for a torsion of the testicles.

DeadButDelicious · 16/09/2018 23:04

*2 weeks off!

My husband is booked in for his in November and as his job is manual work (lots of heavy lifting) and not office based he has been told he will need to take two weeks off.

He's very nervous and not at all happy about having to shave his bits but we are soooooo done and in his own words, I've been through enough, he needs to do this.

I'm amazed about how quickly it's all been sorted though, I had visions of huge waiting lists but it's all been sorted in a matter of weeks. Went to the doctor earlier this month, referral last week and his appointment came through yesterday. I'm in the north west.

SezziBaybee · 16/09/2018 23:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

TheSconeOfStone · 16/09/2018 23:18

My DH had a bad time but always suffers worst case scenario with health related things. In his case the anaesthetic wasn’t working properly so they only did half a job. He went back for round 2 at a later date.

He had no after effects and is very happy he got it done. It was totally his decision.

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