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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Party

45 replies

Minnie651 · 16/09/2018 20:05

Toddlers party over the weekend. Everyone made so much effort with nursery staff helping with the invitations, venue being amazing and guests putting in so much effort and thought into presents. Grandparents booked a holiday so didn’t attend. AIBU to be a little annoyed?

OP posts:
Languageofkindness · 16/09/2018 20:06

You are really but it is hard when it’s your own child. My parents never come to the actual party (they hate them!) but come and see them around their birthdays. I definitely think a holiday takes precedent over a toddlers party.

Benjaminbuttonschild · 16/09/2018 20:07

Annoyed that grandparents booked a holiday??? Eh????

You mean they booked the holiday a while ago and they went and missed the party??? If you YADBU!!!

Original poster
Minnie651 · 16/09/2018 20:08

It’s not as if the birthday date changes....

OP posts:
covetingthepreciousthings · 16/09/2018 20:09

I think YABU, my parents don't come to any parties we have, it's not because they don't care, but it's because they're not really socialising people.

Unless there's a drip feed to this?

Original poster
Minnie651 · 16/09/2018 20:09

And no not annoyed they booked a holiday 😄 more so that it was over their grandchild’s birthday

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 16/09/2018 20:10

YABU
Now my son is 15 I plan to avoid children’s birthday parties at all costs for ever Grin

GruciusMalfoy · 16/09/2018 20:10

I don't think a child's birthday party is a big deal, there will be plenty more of them they'll be able to attend.

MarthasGinYard · 16/09/2018 20:11

I Don't blame them it's a great time to go away with all the kids back at school.

There will be others

Original poster
Minnie651 · 16/09/2018 20:11

No drip feed. Just a disappointed kid that they weren’t there and I suppose maybe I am a little put out as there are 51 other weeks of the year

OP posts:
Benjaminbuttonschild · 16/09/2018 20:11

I take it this is your first child?

Yes a birthday doesn't change but it's a toddlers party ffs!! I can't understand why having a toddlers party means grandparents aren't entitled to lives of their own. I'm sure GPs love their grandchild but they will probably see the child on other days of the year? It doesn't mean they love them any less.

I can't understand why you'd get upset over this 🤷🏻‍♀️ by the time there's loads of grandkids on the scene and as they get older it becomes less of an issue

arethereanyleftatall · 16/09/2018 20:12

Yabu, sorry.

MarthasGinYard · 16/09/2018 20:12

'Just a disappointed kid'

I don't think my dc as a toddler would even have noticed at a party as you describe

Littlecaf · 16/09/2018 20:13

Erm, it’s not their child. Did they get them a present? See them around their birthday) why would they want to come to a kids birthday party? YABU

Benjaminbuttonschild · 16/09/2018 20:14

I don't think my dc as a toddler would even have noticed at a party as you describe

Exactly! Especially if everyone else put so much thought and attention into it. Kid probably wouldn't have cared

Original poster
Minnie651 · 16/09/2018 20:14

Ha ha yes my first child and her first party. Not so much upset just a little miffed given they can go away anytime of the year... however take on board POV shared and put a peep in my pipe

OP posts:
Languageofkindness · 16/09/2018 20:16

Kids parties are deeply boring for all but the parents and the kids who attend as well so give them a break. Mine would only have noticed grandparents not there is i’d made a big deal of it so so think about what you say on the subject to your child. At that age they don’t care. And as they get older they won’t even want you there 😀

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 16/09/2018 20:16

Op look at it this way, no interfering mil trying to make the cake /insult your friend's and other things mil's are known to do.
Many years ago I was annoyed ils assumed an invite tbh!!
Have a separate celebration cake /cuppa when they get back!!

buckeejit · 16/09/2018 20:16

Yabu as they'd barely see gp at party. Have a mini one with them when they get back?

StoneofDestiny · 16/09/2018 20:17

Toddler won't even have noticed!
Life shouldn't stop for grandparents just because it's a grandchild's birthday. They've done their bit with their own children.

Original poster
Minnie651 · 16/09/2018 20:17

Thanks all for views!

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 16/09/2018 20:19

PFB by any chance? Grin

Look, no-one really cares as much as you do about things like this. My MIL is the best granny you can imagine (she actually provides childcare) but she went away for my oldest DC's first birthday. It didn't even occur to me to be bothered.

SoyDora · 16/09/2018 20:20

To be honest I wouldn’t go to my own toddlers parties if I didn’t have to Grin.
I always tell my parents that they’re welcome to come but also welcome not to. Sometimes they do, neither of them came to DD2’s third birthday party in the summer. She didn’t care, all her friends were there!

confusedandemployed · 16/09/2018 20:22

Yeah sorry YABU. Grandparents have no obligation, their role is to dip in and out and spoil kids with no expectation. I know for a fact that I'll be avoiding my grandkids' parties, I just wish I could avoid my own daughter's. Unfortunately she's only 5 so I've a few more years' penance yet...

Original poster
Minnie651 · 16/09/2018 20:23

PFB indeed 😄

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 16/09/2018 20:27

@GruciusMalfoy nothing should ever be taken for granted.