To not pay for friend to get her phone fixed after I smashed it?

[katie3347]

Friday night me and my friend went out for drinks.
We were stood at the bar and I turned around quick and knocked my friends phone out of her hand,it hit the floor and smashed the screen.
It's still working but the screen is totally cracked.

She was a bit upset saying she didn't have insurance and couldn't afford to get it fixed.
I can't afford it either and shouldn't she have had insurance on such a expensive phone?
Anyway I haven't mentioned it since ..aibu to just not mention it again?
I know she probably expected me to pay to get it fixed but it was a accident and she was the one who let go once I hit her arm.

You should pay.

If you need to, in instalments.

You caused it to be broken, so you should pay.
Do you value the friendship more than the £80? If you were my friend and you didn't fix what you broke, you would no longer be my friend.

I agree you should pay. You broke her phone. Okay it was an accident but still you broke it!

Is there any other product that is made of glass and other delicate shit, worth £500 to £1000 that you would have in your hand in a busy pub on a Friday night and not insure?
Why do people treat their phones like shit and then wonder when they break?
Anyone could have bumped into her. She could have fallen over.

Reverse?

Imo if you take a phone somewhere, or designer glasses, bag etc. It's at your own risk.

That’s ridiculous and not the same scenario at all. A punch is a deliberate act which would be like OP intentionally taking the phone out of her friend’s hand and smashing it to the ground.

Of course it isn't anything like the same seriousness, but it's the logical conclusion of automatically deciding to blame somebody to whom you have caused injury, damage or loss, whether deliberately or accidentally.

Whether your excuse is "YOU shouldn't have provoked me", "YOU should have moved out of the way" or "YOU should have bought insurance" or indeed "YOU should have foreseen that I would be violent or careless and therefore YOU should have put measures in place in anticipation of what I was about to do. If anything bad happens to you through my actions, YOU must have been the one to blame", it's victim blaming (and quite possibly gaslighting) and most certainly not the sort of thing that a kind, self-respecting person - friend/acquaintance or stranger - would ever consider doing. Nobody is blaming the OP for having caused the accident, as accidents (whether genuine or through carelessness) do happen - the blame is for her decision not to do the right thing after the accident has happened - in not only refusing to take any responsibility but also in looking for reasons to lay the blame on her friend.

What's the point of a designer bag if you leave it at home? Or glasses when you can't bloody see without them? Bonkers Post of the week.

Well said that sausage roll

Imo if you take a phone somewhere, or designer glasses, bag etc. It's at your own risk.

Context is all. If I leave my expensive glasses or bag somewhere, that’s my own fault.

If they’re on my face/arm and someone damaged them, how is that my fault?

I don’t buy anything I can’t afford to lose, and it’s all insured. That doesn’t mean that if some oaf damages them when I am taking reasonable care to use them as intended that I should be out of pocket.

I think you should offer to pay. Yes it’s an accident but it happened and why should your friend bear all of the cost or now be left with a cracked screen?

Offer to pay half

You should be more careful. Someone did this to me. Walking Slowly minding my own business. Bloke turned round quick then i was accused of almost walking into him.

Love how the op hasn't come back.

Love how the op hasn't come back.

Didn’t hear what she wanted to hear so bailed.

I think you should offer at least fifty pounds as that would be the minimum phone insurance excess would be even if she did have, agreed be at least that amount out of pocket, but the right thing to do would be to pay the full eighty.

YANBU. If she'd had a £2 screen protector on her phone the actual screen wouldn't have smashed.

This thread is an eye opener. How selfish some of you are to think you don't have to pay. The other week I was getting things out the passenger door of my car in a car park when the wind caused the door to swing fully open and bang the side of the car parked next to me leaving a scratch. It was a complete accident but I would be liable for any paint or body work that the other owner had to have done. Thankfully they were nice people and the scratch was tiny so they wer happy to let me off but if I had been a few inches closer it would have probably dented their car and been a large bill. It would have been painful but I would have paid it because it was an accident that was a result of my actions.

All this nonsense about her not having insurance is irrelevant anyway. Even if she had insurance there would have been at least a £50 excess which the OP ought to pay so regardless the OP is out financially. That's life I am afraid.

Op you should pay.

This thread is an eye opener. How selfish some of you are to think you don't have to pay.

But, the point is that I had my phone broken by a clumsy friend. I wouldn't dream of demanding he pay. It's my phone. I shouldn't have let him borrow it.

A kid at school ran into DS and broke his glasses. They cost me around 300 pounds for a replacement (we're not in the UK). I would't dream of calling his mum and demanding payment.

Sometimes accidents happen, things get broken. It can't be helped.

Your stuff, your responsibility.

All the people saying why isn’t she insured - do you get how insurance works?!

There would have been an excess to pay - at least £50, possibly more - and then next year her premiums would go up because she dared to make a claim and so her £80 screen repair would end up costing her even more in increased premiums.

OP you’re being a CF if you follow all the CF advice on here that it’s not your fault. Maybe you didn’t mean to break it, but you did, so if you’re any kind of friend, do the decent thing and stump up some cash. You’re both skint so maybe for the next few weeks you can get a bottle of wine in and watch a movie instead of going out until you’ve saved the £80. Otherwise you could save even more if she decides she doesn’t want to go out with your selfish ass again.

In a good friendship I think the person who caused the accident should offer to pay, but the other person should refuse to accept any money

That way both people get to feel better about themselves

And in the scenario, the first person should buy the owner of the phone some chocolates or wine or something as a peace offering

Happy days :)

Interested whether the people saying you should pay would pursue a stranger who bumped into them in a bar to pay for a dropped phone. I certainly wouldn't and I think you'd be a bit of a dick if you did tbh. If I was the person who broke a strangers stuff I would certainly offer them some money to fix it. I’d feel like a dick if I didn’t tbh.

Interested whether the people saying you should pay would pursue a stranger who bumped into them in a bar to pay for a dropped phone. I certainly wouldn't and I think you'd be a bit of a dick if you did tbh

Well thank goodness we’re all different.

Interested whether the people saying you should pay would pursue a stranger who bumped into them in a bar to pay for a dropped phone. I certainly wouldn't and I think you'd be a bit of a dick if you did tbh.

Have you never observed the relatively common "Hey, you spilled my pint!" scenario between strangers in pubs? It's generally accepted (for right or for wrong) that the 'spiller' buys the 'spillee' a replacement drink or otherwise strong words will be exchanged and a fight will often ensue.

In the broken phone scenario, plenty of people definitely WOULD speak up if a stranger carelessly barged into them and thus was directly responsible for the damage. Most people who wouldn't say anything would make the decision to remain quiet not because they think they'd be unreasonable to make a fuss, but rather for reasons of self-preservation - figuring that a broken phone is better than a still-broken phone plus a potential serious assault, depending on the stranger's completely unknown character.

If your great-grandma has her handbag wrenched off her arm by a huge burly bloke in the street and she lets him take it without resisting (and I realise that, as has been previously discussed, this is a deliberate malicious act rather than an accidental result of being deliberately careless), which response would earn her the classification of 'being a dick' from you: if she DID or if she DIDN'T try to fight him to keep her own property? Or do you think it would be fairer to say that she's a completely innocent victim, regardless of her response, and that there was only ever one person 'being a dick' (feel free to substitute a much stronger description) in the whole unpleasant event?

Again, we're right back to blaming victims for being victims ('asking for it', not being careful enough to anticipate and counteract other people's carelessness' etc.) rather than focussing on blaming the aggressor for the consequences of his/her actions.

But, the point is that I had my phone broken by a clumsy friend. I wouldn't dream of demanding he pay. It's my phone. I shouldn't have let him borrow it.

If this person borrowed your phone and broke it - and then didn't even offer to, let alone insist on, paying for a repair/replacement, I don't think either you or he quite understand what a 'friend' actually is.

Sometimes accidents happen, things get broken. It can't be helped.

Correct, some accidents (although not the one in the OP, by the sounds of it) can't be helped and/or avoided. That's not the issue at all - it's the RESPONSE of the person who was ultimately responsible for the accident that is being discussed here.

Your stuff, your responsibility.

By logical extension, then, is it the same with your body, which is also something that you own and which is yours to look after? If he says he thought you were teasing him, having a laugh and just playing hard to get when you said "NO, STOP" - it can't have been rape, right? You should have somehow stopped it or ensured that you weren't in that place at that time. Your possession, your responsibility, isn't it? He's just the innocent victim in it all, so he couldn't possibly be blamed.

Of course, a phone is just a phone and losing one in no way materially compares with the horror and devastation of physical assault and rape. However, this is exactly the logical conclusion of your categorical statement.